


Never a Rose

by PlayingChello



Series: Never a Rose [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Fingering, Florist!Levi, M/M, NaNoWriMo, Rimming, Tattoo Artist!Eren, background AruAni, background JeanMarco - Freeform, background yumikuri, blowjob, little angst, lots of fluff, talk of sexual and emotional abuse, this is really silly and self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 12:22:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 52,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2651924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayingChello/pseuds/PlayingChello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi owns the Petal Wings flower shop and enjoys it as well as he can. At least until the new tattoo shop next door starts blasting music and irritating his work flow. He decides to take it upon himself to tell the shitty owner to turn it down. But there are just a few things standing in his way....</p><p>***NaNoWriMo 2014 Winner***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. White Violet

**Author's Note:**

> So, this year was my first year doing NaNoWriMo and I decided to let Levi take me through it. I just finished writing the whole story and I am amazed at everything that I've managed to do for it. I really hope you enjoy it. My plan is to update weekly, every Friday. Comments and kudos are much appreciated. I love talking to you guys about my writing so if you have any questions or if you just want to chat, my ask box is also always open. Enjoy!
> 
> Also, thanks a million times over to [Randompinkbunny9](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com) for again being my beta and laughing at my stupid jokes.
> 
> I have a [tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The white violet means 'Let's take a chance on happiness'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UM HELLO THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT BECAUSE I GOT FANART FOR THIS? PLEASE CLICK ON THIS [LINK](http://rosanticis.tumblr.com/post/107019836954/just-a-silly-sketch-after-reading-the-fic-never-a) TO SEE THE FUCKING THING THE WONDERFUL [ROSANTICIS](http://rosanticis.tumblr.com) DREW FOR ME!

I like mornings.

Actually, no. Like is the wrong word. I _appreciate_ mornings. They’re quiet, which I like. They’re beautiful, which I appreciate. And there is this crisp scent about them that promises a good day.

Except in the middle of the goddamn summer. July mornings are hot and sticky here in Trost. But they still give me this quiet place when most of the city stays asleep. And that’s a godsend in the disgusting pit that is Trost.

This morning starts out like any other. I wake, make myself tea, prepare for the day. Just before walking out the door, I grab the dark green smock of my workplace. The best part about my apartment and my shop is that I have a very short commute. The stairs directly outside my apartment door lead down behind a row of shops lining the busy street, and right next to the bottom of those stairs is the back door to my shop.

Petal Wings is the best flower shop this side of Trost. It was Hanji’s idea for me to buy the small shop front ten years ago, fresh out of college. I agreed begrudgingly, mostly just to shut them up. But then I started filling the shop with flowers, my only real passion. I have a healthy appreciation for beautiful things, and flowers are at the top of that list.

The fresh scent of the early morning shipment hits me strongly as I enter the back room. I quickly set out some new displays out front before turning the sign at the door to read ‘Open’ at exactly eight.

My morning is slow and uneventful for the most part. Only a few customers come in and even fewer request assistance. As much as I’ve come to adore my shop and bleed my soul into it, I still hate dealing with customers. I’m just not much of a people person. Ok, I fucking hate social interaction as a general rule. How I managed to come out of college with two outgoing people as my best friends, I will never know.

Around one in the afternoon, it begins.

Recently, a new tattoo shop opened next door to my shop. We share a wall, so sound carries better than I would prefer. Frequently, I could hear the obnoxious blaring of heavy metal music bleeding through that shared wall. While I’ve always considered it irritating, it’s only ever been a minor annoyance, and usually I could simply overcome it by turning up my own music (Some brand of folk music. I run a flower shop, okay?). Today, the music seems a bit louder than usual, but I turn my music up and pay it no mind.

This works for three hours.

The sound of the bell on the door causes me to lift my head. I have a lot of regular customers I’ve come to know over the years, but I still get plenty of people I don’t know come through as well. I’d never seen this woman before. She’s elderly, with tightly curled silver hair cut short. She ambles slowly around a bit and my attention returns to the bills I had been sorting through before she came in. The next time I glance up, a few minutes later, she is still ambling slowly, but she has a confused expression.

I put on my best happy customer face (Hanji always tells me it’s scarier than my scowl, but what do they know). “Can I help you with something, ma’am?”

She startles and spins to face me, as if she hadn’t realized I’m standing there. Then her face lights up as she realizes who I am, “Oh yes, I can’t seem to find where you keep your roses.”

My eye twitches as I fight to keep the frown off my face. I hate roses. Why the fuck would someone _ever_ want to use a rose over anything else. There are so many ways to say the same things a rose can say, most of them considerably more beautiful. The reason the woman was having trouble finding my roses is because I purposefully hide them in a back corner to discourage their sale.

I bite back a sigh and move out from behind the counter, “Follow me, ma’am.” I lead her through the store to the back corner where there is a small, tasteful display of several different colors of roses. “May I ask what it is you would like to say with these flowers?”

“Oh, it’s nothing in particular, it’s just my daughter’s favorite flower. Could I get a bouquet of the pink ones?” She didn’t even have a purpose for them, didn’t even know what they meant.

I draw several stems from the display, “Would you like the thorns trimmed?”

“Oh, you can do that? Then yes, if it’s not too much trouble.”

I lead her back to the front of the shop to my workstation, “Not at all, ma’am.”

Once the flowers are arranged together in a bouquet (at least rose bouquets are easy to put together), I wrap them in an iridescent paper and hand it to her. She pays and leaves.

Then the music gets louder.

I don’t have a particularly bad temper, I don’t think. I just don’t handle stupid shit very well. Excessively loud heavy metal music qualifies as stupid shit. Especially after having to deal with the roses. I glance at the clock. It’s half past four, and near time for me to close anyway, so I do my normal closing time ritual and turn the sign on the door before marching over to the shop.

My shop uses several colors in its palate, but dark green is the pervading theme, with the display flower adding color to the window. Dancing Titan Tattoos (Who the fuck names a shop that?) is in stark contrast. The building is a deep red with a black sign with red lettering announcing the nature of the store.

If I thought the music was excessively loud coming through the wall, it’s loud as shit walking into the shop. I don’t know how anyone can stand this. It doesn’t even sound good, just a lot of loud banging. Otherwise, the space is fairly well put together. The door opens to a wide open room with a pool table off to the right and a couple couches to the left. At the back, to the left, is a desk with a bored looking woman with dark hair pulled back in a low ponytail and freckles dotting her face conservatively looking through a magazine. The walls are painted black (how creative) and covered with framed photos and drawings of various tattoos. I have to admit, most all of them are spectacular.

I walk up to the counter, a bit less than calmly, “I need to speak with the owner.”’

The woman glances up from her magazine and eyes me. She takes a sweep over my appearance. Short, angry man wearing a dark green smock, I know. “Who the fuck are you?”

I raise an eyebrow, slightly amused by the greeting. If this were under different circumstances, I imagine I wouldn’t hate being around this one. “Do you talk to all your customers that way, or am I special?”

Her eyes flick to my smock again, “Something tells me you aren’t a customer. Who. Are. You.”

My irritation returns, “I own the shop next door. Are you going to get me the owner, or just continue to piss me off?”

She stares me down again, and I meet her challenge with my glare. Finally she moves off and retreats into the back of the shop down a hallway while giving me a half-hearted, “Be right back.”

Alone, I lean up against the counter and wait. Patience may be a virtue, but it has never been one of mine, so it takes only moments before my irritation grows and I’m tapping my fingers against my arm. To pass the time I examine some of the drawings on the wall nearby to the counter. There is a series of odd portraits hanging, all signed in the same messy scrawl that I can’t hope to decipher. All of them look humanoid, but gruesomely so. One is a particularly angry looking thing with no skin, its muscles and tendons exposed. Another looks more like a golem, with some sort of plating covering the face. A third is female in features, but the skin is torn in several places along her cheeks and there is no skin surrounding the eyes. My favorite, and by far the most normal looking of the bunch is one with pointed ears and long hair. The skin of his cheeks is removed, revealing the teeth beneath, but otherwise, he looks normal enough. He also looks ready to kill, eyebrows drawn in concentrated anger.

“Do you like them?” The voice nearly startles me, but I manage to keep myself from jumping and whirl at the sound.

What was I here for again?

The voice (a deep timbre which has absolutely no right to be quite that sexy) had apparently come from the man now standing before me. He’s taller than me, but not particularly tall in the grand scheme of things, with dark brown hair falling messily over his face. He’s wearing a simple black shirt with the store’s name across the chest and jeans. Every inch of skin I can see that isn’t his face is covered with tattoos. I would guess his age to be around early or middle twenties, big surprise there. But the most captivating thing about him is definitely his eyes. I’ve never seen someone with two different colored eyes before. One is the lightest brown I’ve seen on a person, it approaches a golden yellow, and its stare is intense. The other is the most interesting shade of green. Actually, I can’t even call it a single shade. Even as he just stands there, the color changes from a light grassy green to a deep forest green with a hint of blue. I could spend hours staring into his eyes just trying to pin down what color each of them was.

“My drawings, I saw you looking at them.”

I had forgotten he had spoken, and now remember that he had asked a question, something about the pictures I was looking at. “You drew those?”

The man chuckles a bit and I’m irritated by how much I enjoy the sound, “Yeah, part of my titan series. Although the one the shop is named for isn’t up there.”

“They’re gruesome.”

He looks me up and down, obviously taking note of my smock. “Yeah, I guess they are,” he sounds distracted or distant. Then his entire demeanor changes and practically gives me whiplash from his enthusiasm. Reminds me of Hanji. “Is there something I can help you with? Are you looking for a consultation?”

Oh yeah, I am here for a reason. What was that again? The song playing ends and a new one begins, reminding me of my purpose. Before I can speak, though, he does again, “Let’s go to one of the back rooms and we can go through what you want.”

He motions me to follow him and even though he clearly thinks I’m a customer, I do just that. I can just voice my concerns in the back room. When we pass into the hallway, the music quiets substantially, causing me to let out a breath of relief. Talking over it was hard. He leads me back a little ways and through another door into a small room with a rolling stool and a table like you’d see at a massage place, but without the cutout for a person’s face. There’s a counter lining one wall with various things littered across the top. The man turns back to me.

“So, do you have an idea of what you want or did you want to look through my portfolio? Oh, I’m Eren, by the way.” He holds out a hand for me to shake.

His smile is unusually disarming and I almost forget what I came for again. Almost. “I’m not here for a fucking tattoo.”

The frown that takes over his face makes me want to take it back. I almost agree to get a tattoo just to make him smile again. How fucking stupid is that?

“What _are_ you here for, then?”

“I want you to turn down the fucking noise blaring from your speakers. The walls are too goddamn thin and its making it impossible for me to run my shop.”

His confusion is endearing. “I’m sorry?”

I narrow my eyes, “The music. That shitty heavy metal noise. It comes through the wall and is not fitting for a flower shop. Do I really need to explain this more, or do you have at least a portion of a functioning brain?”

I’ve been more or less of an ass my whole life. I know this, people tell me this, it’s a big part of why I have only two friends more than thirty years into my life. Most people get offended when I insult them, some return with another insult, usually as shitty as they are. Occasionally someone tries to get physical. Never in my entire life have I insulted a stranger and had them laugh. Ever.

Until now.

It started as a slow smile spreading on his lips, then a snigger as he tries to hold back the giggles. Eventually, he gives up and laughs wholeheartedly. My eyes widen in shock at the reaction, but I quickly return to glaring. When he calms down a bit, he looks at me and then starts laughing again. While I’m pleased as all shit I amuse the brat so much, I have better things to be doing.

“What the fuck is so goddamn hilarious, brat?”

It take another several moments before he’s breathing evenly enough to speak, “I’m sorry, but that was the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.” My brows raise and he waves at me as he struggles to stifle more laughter. “Sorry, sorry. So you work in the flower shop next door? Uh, Petal Wings, was it?”

“I own it.”

As much as I enjoy hearing him laugh, I’m glad he seems to be over it. Instead, he surprises me again, “Come get coffee with me.”

“What?”

“Coffee. You and me.” He’s wearing the biggest shit-eating grin I’ve ever seen. He could give Hanji a run for their money.

“No.”

“Then I’m not turning the music down. I’m sorry it bothers you, but I am well within my rights as a business owner and it’s nowhere near loud enough to be considered a public disturbance, so the police won’t care if you complain to them.”

“So you’re going to manipulate me for coffee?”

“I’ll pay for the coffee, I would just like your company. Let’s call it a deal.”

“No, shit-for-brains. I’m not going for coffee. I don’t even like coffee.”

His obnoxious smile widens, “Then I guess I’ll see you around.”

My eyes narrow into the fiercest glare I can manage, but he seems unperturbed. “Fine.” I’m willing to admit I’m stubborn. Erwin would say it’s part of my charm. I think it just irritates people. But I’ll play this fight, if this brat wants to. I turn to leave the room, but he stops me as I’m opening the door.

“What did you say your name was?”

Without turning back I tell him, “I didn’t.”

I can practically hear him raise his eyebrows. “Well, what is it then?”

I step out of the room and reach back to close the door, “Levi.” On my way out the woman at the desk sniggers. I ignore her and leave.

\--

I make it three days before the music starts affecting my ability to interact with customers. I’m fixing a modest bouquet for one of my regulars, a young guy with a silly haircut and a lot of freckles, when the paper wrapping rips and I all but throw it across the workbench.

“Something on your mind, Levi?” My regular, Marco, asks.

“You can’t tell me you don’t hear the blaring bass line from next door.”

He pauses, listening for a moment. “Oh, I guess. I hadn’t noticed. I’m sure if you ask they’ll turn it down.”

I just stare. “I’m going to get you a new wrapping.” He smiles back at me while I do that.

When I close at five, I go back over to Dancing Titan Tattoos.

The same woman who was there three days ago is at the counter again, but this time, a petite blonde woman is leaning on the other side, talking to her. The one from before looks up when I walk through the door. “Oh, it’s you. Levi, right?”

I stare incredulously, “Yes…”

“We knew you’d be back,” she taunts. I don’t dignify it with a response. “Fine, asshole. Eren’s in the back somewhere. You need an escort?”

Before I can respond, the blonde speaks up, “Ymir, be nice.”

“Fine, fine. Come on, shorty.” The woman, Ymir apparently, moves out from behind the counter and leads me back through the hallway. She knocks on a door.

A muffled ‘come in’ prompts her to open the door and gesture for me to go in. She leaves as soon as I start through the door. I close the door behind me and the sight I’m met with is not quite what I expected. Eren is bent over in a rolling stool, metal contraption in his gloved hands. A man about the same age as Eren is laying on the bench while Eren goes over some color along his back. “I’ll be done in, like, five more minutes. That alright?”

“Do I have a choice?” I mumble and sit in one of the chairs off in the corner, presumably meant for people the person receiving a tattoo may have invited with them. This particular guy didn’t seem to have anyone with him.

“Who are you?” he asks, turning his head to look at me.

“None of your fucking business.” I don’t really have anything against the guy, but he looks like he is kind of an obnoxious asshole and I don’t feel like explaining myself to him.

“Levi, please be nice to my customers. Jean, it really isn’t any of your business.” Well, now I know the identity of the third party.

“Whatever.” Jean turns his head back to how it was before I came in, facing away from me. Silence, save the buzzing of the machine in Eren’s hand, follows for several minutes.

My head jerks when Eren speaks again, “Alright, all set. You know the drill, Jean. Take care of it. I’m sure I’ll see you back again.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sitting on an idea for another piece. I’ll be back. Thanks, Eren.” Jean sits up gingerly and digs around in his pocket. He pulls out several bills and hands them to Eren before leaving, giving me nothing more than a glance as he leaves.

“That was Jean, he’s one of my longest standing customers. Most of the work he’s got, I did, or at least designed.” Eren peels off the nitrile gloves he was wearing and disposes of them after he throws out the small ink cups.

“Didn’t need the history lesson.”

He smiles, “Abrasively rude as ever, Levi. I’m glad that wasn’t just a one time thing. What can I do for you?”

I watch him for a second as he cleans up his workspace. “I’m sure even someone as dense as you can figure that out.”

“So you’re here to accept my offer?”

“Fuck no. Turn the noise down.”

“You know, the subtle insults to my music taste really don’t help your case. But I’m a nice guy. All you have to do is accept to get coffee with me. Twenty minutes of your time and you’ll never have to worry about the music again.”

“You are a shit-faced brat, why would that make me want to spend any more time than necessary with you?”

The momentary hurt that flashed across his odd eyes gave me a pang of guilt somewhere deep in my gut. But as fast as the hurt flashed across his eyes, it’s gone and my guilt with it. “It’s up to you. But I’m not touching the volume dial until you agree.”

“Tch. Why are you so adamant about this?”

His cheeks darken a bit, “You intrigue me. Plus, it’s polite to get to know your neighbours.”

“I think the custom is to send a shitty fruit cake.” He laughs. It still surprises me when he finds my shit humour genuinely funny. No one ever laughs at my jokes unless it’s Hanji, and they just laugh because they’re crazy, not because they think I’m actually funny. I don’t even think I’m funny.

“See, there you go. Anyway, if you aren’t planning on conceding or getting a tattoo, I have another appointment in…” he looks at the clock hanging on the wall, “about twenty minutes and I still need to finish the stencil.”

“Subtle, that.” For the first time since I met him he glares at me, and it’s actually hilarious. I hold up a hand, waving him off, “Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m leaving. Turn your fucking music down.” I stand and head toward the door.

“Go with me for coffee.”

I waved back at him, holding a choice finger higher than the rest. I hear him chuckle as the door swings shut behind me.

\--

I come out of the bathroom after a shower on Saturday morning to the sound of someone rummaging in my cupboards.

“Mugs are to the left. How do you not know this?”

The person in my kitchen spins around and throws their arms up. I calmly sidestep their lanky frame as they attempt to hug me.

“Levi! I came to visit, how are you?”

“I can see that. Remind me why I thought it was a good idea to give you a key?”

They return to the cupboards, this time opening the correct one. “I believe you said something along the lines of wanting to have someone to make sure you haven’t ‘died while taking a shit.’”

I move to put the kettle on the stove for tea before Hanji can make a mess of it, “Ah yes. Maybe I should have given it to Erwin, instead.” I think about that for a second and imagine the frequency with which he would take advantage of the all-access pass to my apartment, and that it wouldn’t keep Hanji away as Erwin would just bring them anyway. “On second thought, nevermind. Why are you here?”

“I haven’t seen you in ages, how are things? Where’s your sugar?”

I scowl at their insistence to poison the purity of good tea, but point them to the pantry nonetheless. “Not much happens in my life, Hanji. I run a flower shop, not a drug trafficking ring.” They burst out laughing and it almost covers the shrill peel of the kettle announcing the water is ready.

“There’s a whole new shop next door and you’re going to tell me nothing exciting happened? It’s been over a month since we last talked, I want to know everything!”

At the mention of the shop next door I freeze in my pouring of the water. “It’s just a shitty tattoo parlour owned by a shitty brat with no courtesy for his neighbours.”

“Ooooh,” Great, now I’ve caught their attention, “you met the owner? Sounds like I hit a sore spot, tell me everything.” They thank me for their tea as I hand them their mug and we migrate to the living room and sit at either end of my couch.

“The owner refuses to turn down his shitty music unless I get shitty coffee with him.”

“That’s four uses of the word shitty in two sentences. That’s a lot, even for you, Levi.” I respond with a middle finger raised to them. They just chuckle, “So tell me about this tattoo guy.”

I’m quiet for a bit, sipping at my still very hot tea while I decide exactly what I’m willing to tell them. Certainly not how unfortunately attractive he is. “He’s pretty young, twenties I’d guess. And he’s a fucking stubborn brat. There’s a woman that works there, too, with no qualms in insulting me.”

“Sounds like you two should be best friends. Don’t go replacing me now! So why don’t you get coffee with the owner then? What’s his name?”

“Eren. Because I shouldn’t need to waste my time at some chain coffee shop drinking a subpar drink I don’t even like with a guy nearly ten years my junior. There’s no point. It’s not that hard to turn down the fucking noise.”

Hanji puts down their mug on the coffee table and looks me in the eye. “Levi. I know you’re a stubborn ass and more oblivious than you like to admit,” I open my mouth to retort but they hold up a finger to stop me, “ _but_ you need to get over yourself. I tell this to you because I love you. Just accept the terms. You never know, maybe you’ll get more out of it than you expect.” They smile with something that makes me narrow my eyes in suspicion.

“You act like you know something.”

The smile widens, “Oh I don’t know anything. I haven’t even met him. I just think you need to get out more anyway and you shouldn’t pass up the opportunity to spend time with someone that seems to actually want to. I’m sure it’ll be nice to talk to someone that isn’t me or Erwin.”

“I don’t like people.”

“Yes, Levi, we all know that. For once, take the chance, it won’t kill you. Anyway, when’s the last time you talked to Erwin?”

Hanji stays for another several hours, chatting incessantly about their life since last we talked. Apparently they are exploring the efficacy of the exotic dancing industry. They have a tendency to bounce around exploring various industries and conducting social experiments. There is a long list of establishments they’re banned from because of it. I listen to the wild stories of reactions when they go into a club with a very specific fetish for longer than necessary before they jump up, looking at the clock.

“I’m sorry to cut this short, the rest of the story is so exciting! But I have to take off, got a date!”

“I’m sure I will turn over in my sleep wondering as to what the exciting conclusion to that story was.” I reply dryly.

“Really?”

“No.”

They punch my shoulder lightly, “That’s not nice. But I really do have to go. Don’t be a stranger and tell me how it goes with Eren.”

“It won’t,” I yell half-heartedly after them as they rush out the door.

\--

I’ve always preferred mornings to afternoons and evenings, but since Eren became such a problem, I have the utmost respect for the morning hours. It’s the only time I get any peace in the shop. Since Dancing Titan doesn’t open until one, I get to enjoy quiet mornings. But as soon as the clock strikes one, the wall vibrates from the bass of whatever stupid music Eren chooses for the day. Most often, it’s something heavy metal, but sometimes it’s rap or heavy electronic shit. But the worst of all is when the vocals scream.

Who the fuck ever decided that it would be enjoyable to listen to a song with nothing but awful drum beats, uninspiring guitar, and someone screaming their head off for three minutes? I honestly can not fathom how anyone making this kind of ‘music’ managed to get a record deal. And doesn’t all that screaming tear up the vocalists’ throats? I don’t know all that much about making music and singing and shit, but that sounds painful.

And before last week, I had never given it a second’s thought. But now, I find myself contemplating exactly how much I hate several different genres of music all because I can hear it coming through my wall. I thought the weekend would help. I hoped the whole issue might have blown over or at least that I would be more equipped to handle it.

I was wrong.

Monday has been perfect up to now. But the second one o’clock came around I had to suppress pulling my hair out. That screamy shit I was talking about? That’s the option for today. I swear he just puts that shit on to annoy me now. I bet he spends his evenings trying to find the most obnoxious, bass-heavy music he can to put on. That Ymir woman probably helps him.

I’m putting out the new shipments of larkspur and sweat pea when the music suddenly surges in volume. I’m lucky I don’t knock over the display I’m working on when it happens. I can’t really afford to replace the flowers. I finish up the display quickly, with great irritation, and put a sign up that I’d be back soon in the door.

I cringe as I open the door, assaulted by the particularly horrendous racket coming from the speakers. This time, Eren is out front.

“Levi! Welcome back, what can I do for you?”

“Your enthusiasm is excessively sickening. Where’s that woman, Ymir, or whatever?” I move to lean against the front counter where Eren is sketching something.

“In the back with a client. I can’t do all the work around here. Plus, she’s a much better piercer, so anyone that wants piercings wants her.” He keeps his eyes on his paper, his hands make short, quick movements across the page.

“Piercings. Great.”

He looks up, catching me in his dual coloured gaze. It’s sort of like being stared at by two different people at once. His green eye is full of this young, childlike wonder. There’s so much hope and trust and openness there. It’s like a certain amount of naivety with an understanding of the joy the world has to offer. I’m sure if I covered the right side of his face, showing only his green eye, he’d look at least five years younger.

And then there’s his right eye. It’s almost the complete opposite. There’s a hardness in it that could rival that of a war veteran’s. Were I to cover the green eye, I would have guessed he was cruel, or at least in opposition with the world. Much like how people probably see me. In the yellow tint which reflects the red in the shop too easily, I can see anger and hurt and cynicism. There’s a sort of monstrous volatility that makes me think he could go off at the slightest provocation.

But looking at him, both eyes staring back, the two marry in this oddly satisfying conglomeration of attributes. It leaves one person, one soul, that both understands the hardships of the world while being able to see the good and innocence still there.

“Levi?”

His voice brings me back to the present and I shake my head slightly to get out of my head. “Hmm?”

“I asked what I could do for you.” He cocks his head, probably wondering what I had been thinking about. I never plan to tell him.

“Tomorrow, lunch time.”

His complete confusion is both cute and far more satisfying that it should be. I smirk, enjoying my momentary victory. “What?”

“Tomorrow. Eleven-thirty. Coffee. And it better not be a goddamn Starbucks.”

Watching the way his face lights up as he realises what I’m saying is better than I thought and more attractive than I’m willing to admit. “You’re going to go with me?”

I hold up my index finger, “On the condition that you turn this racket down. Now.”

He stands up behind the counter and throws his left hand behind his back and right fist over his heart in some weird salute, back rigidly straight, “Yes, sir!”

“Seriously?”

His arms fall to his sides, “Sorry, you have an aura. Feels like I should be saluting to you. I-I’ll be right back.” He turns and walks to the back. Not long after he disappears, the volume of the music lowers to a more tolerable level. A few beats later, Eren returns with Ymir following behind him.

“Is this an acceptable level for your old man ears?” he asks playfully.

“Fuck you.”

Ymir mumbles something to Eren that I don’t catch and Eren hits her. “So I’ll come by tomorrow and pick you up? The coffee place is within walking distance.”

“Oh, he finally gave in? Explains why I can hear myself think again.” Ymir quips. We both ignore her.

Before I can respond to Eren, though, he starts talking again, “Don’t you usually work at that time? Do you have someone to cover the shop?”

“I can close the shop for lunch. I’m the only employee as I’ve been unable to find someone willing to work that I can stand being around for long enough to employ them.”

“Oh, well okay th-”

“You know,” Ymir cuts Eren off with a conspiratorial lilt to her voice, “my girlfriend has been looking for a job. She was here last time you were. And it’s physically impossible to hate her, she’s too cute and sweet.”

I imagine I probably look like I’m questioning Ymir’s sanity, which I kind of am. Eren is nodding, though. “She’s right. No one can hate Christa. And I bet she’d love working in a flower shop.”

I sigh heavily, fingers pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’ll pay shit wages, but I’ll meet with her. Send her over when she gets a chance. Earlier the better.”

Ymir smirks, “At least you’re useful for something other than yelling at us and being a distraction.” Eren hits her again.

“Whatever. I need to actually do my job.”

“See you tomorrow, Levi!” Eren waves at me as I turn to leave.

“Yeah.”


	2. Red Gloxinia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goxinia symbolises love at first sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh guys. I am floored by the great response I've gotten on this so far and nothing has even happened yet! And since Thanksgiving was yesterday, I just want you all to know how thankful I am that you are choosing to read this. It make my whole day when I get a comment and I obsessively check views and kudos because seeing that number go up just makes me smile. So thank you guys.
> 
> Also, huge thanks, as always, to [Randompinkbunny9](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com), who I will from now on be referring to as Renee cuz I'm sick of typing out her whole url (haha), for always being great and helping make sure this thing makes some kind of sense.
> 
> I have a [tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com). Also, if you follow me there you may have seen the little teaser I put up for this chapter yesterday. I do that occassionally, and I tag all the stuff for this fic as "fic: never a rose" so if you want to see that, or heaven forbid add your own input about the story or what have you, that's the tag I'm looking at.

The door opens at fifteen past eleven.

“So this is the famed Petal Wings. It smells good in here.”

“It’s a fucking flower shop. You’re early.” I watch Eren walk up a couple isles, noting his casual wear is essentially the same as his work wear. I return to my work.

“Yeah, I hope that’s ok. I can just hang out until you’re done,” he calls from the back of an isle. “Flowers have meanings?”

I look up from the arrangement I’m designing and see him reading the placard under the azalea. “Yeah. Most of them have more than one. That’s a big part of why I have a living to make in this.”

Eren strides up to the counter in this odd, nervously cocky way that shouldn’t be sexy. And, yet, somehow, it is. It isn’t until he’s leaning on the counter smirking that I realise I was staring. “What, brat?”

“Oh nothing, don’t mind me.” He turns, leaning his back against the counter and looking out at the rest of the shop. “So, flowers, huh? What made you decide on that?”

I go back to the arrangement design. I’d really like to get it done before we leave, which gives me about ten more minutes. “None of your fucking business.”

He turns his head back to look at me and he opens his mouth to say something but the door opens, saving me from whatever nonsense he was about to spew.

Unfortunately, the ‘customer’ is none other than Ymir. “Oh good, you haven’t left yet.”

“What are you doing here?” I ask, abandoning my project. I’m not going to be able to get it done now.

“And you yelled at me for being rude to customers. How hypocritical.” She approaches the counter and leans over is, placing her forearms on the surface.

“Why are you here, Ymir?” Eren asks before I can return her statement with something equally rude.

She glances over to him. “Just dropped by to let Levi here know that Christa can come by tomorrow morning. She said she’s willing to start tomorrow if you like her. And you will.”

“You sound really sure of that.” I raise an eyebrow.

“Not even you can dislike Christa. It’s a universal impossibility. She’s too perfect.”

Ymir straightens, proud of her girlfriend, “Thank you, Eren. That’s exactly right. And what the _fuck_ are you playing in here? Is this Indigo Girls?”

“Yes. It’s a flower shop, bitch.” She smirks. I wave my hands at them, gesturing for them to back away, “Get your grubby selves away from my counter, I need to wipe it down.” I locate my cleaning rag and cleaner behind the counter and spray the top. I make it halfway across the countertop before I glance up and find two sets of eyes staring at my incredulously. “What?”

“It’s not even dirty.” Eren says dumbly.

“So I’m not allowed to try to maintain a clean workspace? I don’t like dirt or mess. Keep it up and you’ll wait outside.” I return to wiping down the counter.

I can feel both of their eyes glued to me and I know Ymir is probably trying to come up with a creative insult. I can feel Eren’s eyes boring into me, but I’m not going to apologise for my antics. I know I’m excessive about cleanliness and I don’t care what anyone else has to say about it. A few moments later, I finish up and remove my smock. Eren and Ymir are simultaneously knocked out of their frozen reverie of staring at my cleaning habits as I shepherd them out of the shop and put up my ‘out to lunch’ sign.

“Well, it has been swell watching this union, but I have shit to do. Have fun, boys.” Ymir says when we’re all standing outside. She waves at us as she walks to the tattoo shop and unlocks the door before disappearing behind it.

Eren turns to me, “Shall we?”

I hold my arm out, indicating he should lead the way. We walk side by side for a little while in silence. I appreciate the fact that he doesn’t attempt to make conversation. It gives me a chance to evaluate the moment. So far, I don’t hate the experience. But there’s still plenty of time for one or both of us to fuck that up. For now, I’ll just enjoy the silence and the sun and it filters down between buildings, lighting up Eren’s olive skin.

The walk takes ten minutes and ends at a hole in the wall place on a back street. The door is set lower than the street, which means we have to go down a small set of stairs in order to get into the shop. Based on the outside, I never would have set foot in the place. It looks filthy. But the inside surprises me. It has a warm, cozy feel to it, like sitting in your mother’s living room.

Eren walks up to the counter and I follow close behind.

“Hey, Rosie. How are things?”

The woman behind the counter, Rosie apparently, offers him a wide smile, “Eren, good to see you. Things are good, how are you?”

He leans in, offering his full attention, “Great! How’s the little one?”

“Maria’s lovely. She’s just started walking and that has been an adventure and a half. I haven’t seen your family in a while, how’re your parents?”

He smiles, “Oh, same as always.” I debate clearing my throat to bring attention to the fact that we are in line to order, but Rosie beats me to it.

“Anyway, what can I get you, Eren?”

“Surprise me, as long as there’s plenty of coffee in it. Levi?” He turns to me.

I step forward a bit and Rosie turns to me, “Oh? Who’s this?”

“Rosie, Levi. Levi, Rosie, the owner of this fine establishment.” She blushes at her introduction. “Levi owns the flower shop next door to where I set up the tattoo parlour.”

She looks me up and down, “Nice to meet you, Levi. What can I get you?”

Up to this point, given I haven’t been paying terribly close attention the the conversation Eren was having with the woman, I have had considerable time to look over the menu. “A cup of darjeeling, please.”

“So polite. Coming right up.” Eren hands her money to pay for the drinks. While she hands him back change, she leans in close and says something to him I don’t hear, but it makes his cheeks flush and he nods back to her. Once the drinks are paid for, we move away and Rosie waves.

We choose a small table in the corner with surprisingly comfortable chairs. A few moments after we sit, Rosie comes by with our drinks. My tea is in a wide mug and is steaming pleasantly. Eren receives a large plastic cup with a light brown liquid and ice. It looks disgusting. When we assure Rosie that there’s nothing else we need, she winks at Eren, causing him to blush again, and leaves us.

I take a small sip of my tea and am pleasantly surprised by the wonderful taste.

“How is it?”

I flick my eyes up to meet Eren’s, “It’s good.”

His lips widen in a smug smile, “I knew you’d like it. Doesn’t matter what you get, Rosie makes it the best.” When I don’t respond, he continues. “So, really now. Why flowers?”

“I don’t need to explain myself to some brat.”

He leans over the table toward me, “And then that. Why do you keep calling me a brat? It’s not like I’m a kid or anything.”

I raise an eyebrow, amused, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Tch. That’s what I thought. I’m seven years older than you. _Brat _.”__

__His eyes widen, “What? You can’t be. You barely look in your twenties.”_ _

__“Heh, while I appreciate the compliment, it isn’t true.”_ _

__“No, really. I thought you were younger than me. You’re lucky.” I look at him for a bit. He’s definitely being honest. It’s nice to be taken for so young, not that I’m particularly old, but still. I let the tiniest of smiles grace my features. When he catches it, his face lights up like he’s just won something._ _

__“Alright, so if you won’t tell me why you run a flower shop, then I’ll just have to guess.” He looks so pleased with himself for coming up with this idea._ _

__I sip at my tea, “Whatever floats your log.”_ _

__His brows draw together, “Was that a shit joke?”_ _

__What did I say? Eh, doesn’t matter, safe bet it was, “I do that.”_ _

__“Okay, anyway, is it because your mom had a flower shop when you were a kid but died and left you the shop?”_ _

__Oh this is going to be interesting, “No. Mom lives with dad happily in retirement in France. And she’s never been into flowers.”_ _

__“France? Are you French?” If I wasn’t already friends with Hanji, the conversational whiplash would irritate me a lot more, but such as it is._ _

__“Half.”_ _

__“Awesome. I’ve only been to France once, but it was really pretty there.”_ _

__“You’ve been there more than I have then.”_ _

__He puts down the cup he’d been nursing from fairly consistently, “You don’t visit your parents?”_ _

__“No, they come here if they want to see me.”_ _

__“Hmmm,” he looks sad, “That sucks. I would hate being away from my mom for so long.”_ _

__For some odd reason, this made me uncharacteristically curious, “Not your dad?”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“You said you’d hate being away from your mom. What about your dad?”_ _

__“Oh, yeah, him too. But I’m way closer with mom. Dad was always at work when I was a kid, so she raised me almost on her own. He’s not a bad guy or anything. I’m just used to not seeing him much.”_ _

__I hum a response and he lets the conversation lapse into a silence. I have a feeling he’s thinking too hard, but I find the quiet somewhat comfortable, so I just leave him to it._ _

__I’m almost finished with my tea when he breaks the silence, “I’ve got it! You were part of some underworld gang and the only way the boss would let you get out is if you took over his daughter’s flower shop.”_ _

__With a completely straight face and without pause I reply, “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”_ _

__His eyes widen hugely for a moment before he catches that I’m joking. Then he bursts out into laughter, drawing the attention of a few nearby patrons of the shop._ _

__“You are actually really funny.”_ _

__“You say that like it comes as a surprise.” I smirk over my mug._ _

__“It is, a little. Why do you hold your cup like that?”_ _

__I stopped and looked down at my hand, resting over the top of my mug rather than on the handle or around the side. I shrug, “Just do. It’s how I’ve always done it.”_ _

__“Huh.” He takes the lid off his cup and holds in over the top, similarly to me. It takes him a minute of looking extremely awkward to manage to get a sip of his drink, which is nearly gone. When he does finally get the liquid to his lips, it spills over the edges of the cup and dribbles down his chin. As soon as he realises it, he wrenches the cup away and searches around for a napkin. “How do you even do that?”_ _

__“I have thirty years of experience. Here,” I hold out a napkin to him. He takes it and wipes at his mouth._ _

__“Well, I think I’ll stick to straws and handles. Are you nearly finished?”_ _

__I glance down at the mug, finding only the dregs of my tea remaining. “Yeah, what time is it?”_ _

__Eren’s eyes look up behind me, where there must be a clock on the wall. “Twelve fifteen. I imagine you probably want to get back? I’ve got some things to do before I open anyway.”_ _

__I nod at him and push my mug toward the center of the table. I look up to find him watching me intently and our eyes meet. I’m struck again by how fascinating they are. I’m not sure if I could ever get used to looking at them and their dual colour. They captivate me in a way few things have before. He stands, and I feel myself mirror the movement without taking my eyes from his. He clears his throat, shocking me back to the present. “Shall we?” He holds out his arm for me and I just look at it for a second before ignoring it and walking away. He follows quickly after._ _

__“Thanks for coming out with me.” His voice is quiet and nervous, almost as if he doesn’t want me to hear it._ _

__I stop walking, just outside the café, and turn to face him. “It’s not like I really had much of a choice. But I must admit, it wasn’t a horrendous experience.”_ _

__He doesn’t say anything, and starts walking back toward our shops. But I do catch his small, satisfied smile. We walk in silence, similarly to our trip out to the coffee shop. This time, I appreciate the silence even more. I find it comfortable and companionable. It actually surprises me, because most of the time I enjoy silence around other people simply because the people around me aren’t speaking. But with Eren, I find that it just feels like we don’t have to fill every moment with sound. It’s not that he isn’t talking that is pleasant, it’s that we both feel comfortable in silence with one another._ _

__Before I know it, I can see the black and red Dancing Titan Tattoos sign and the green Petal Wings sign. “I’m really glad you agreed to this. I enjoyed myself and I hope you did, too. I’d love to do it again, sometime.” His eyes are anywhere other than on me._ _

__“Mmm, I might be convinced. But don’t manipulate me this time.” Finally, his eyes find mine again. I don’t even notice as he moves closer, bringing him within a breath’s distance._ _

__“I’m sorry. You’ll go out with me again?”_ _

__“I do have to work, but if this Christa girl works out, I’ll have a bit more leeway in my schedule.”_ _

__Instead of a response or a suggestion as to when next to meet, he leans down and presses his lips to my cheek. He draws away quickly and disappears into his shop, leaving me with wide eyes on the sidewalk. A few moments pass before I gather my wits and retreat into my own store. I send a quick text to Hanji._ _

___I think I just got back from a date._ _ _

__The reply came back within seconds._ _

___How’s Friday night?_ _ _

__\--_ _

__The thing about Hanji and Erwin is that they always know how to get me to talk and when I think I need to keep things to myself. That, more than anything else I think, is why I can still handle being around them. Hanji is crazy, eccentric, and frankly, quite weird. They get wildly excited over the littlest things, usually anything they can manage to twist into a social experiment. I keep telling them they should figure out a way to get paid for all the craziness, especially since it tends to get them kicked out of a lot of places. But they claim it’s more of a hobby and they’d rather just do the research to satisfy their own curiosity while occasionally using the information for their papers. Instead, they maintain their professorship at Trost University teaching anthropology courses. I’m actually consistently impressed they haven’t been fired. I’m sure their students either love or hate them. There’s no in between with them._ _

__Erwin is much calmer. He’s still crazy and weird, but he’s much more subtle about it. He’s obsessed with chess and other old strategy board games. Rarely, he talks me into playing something against him. I’ve never won. He’s subtly manipulative, and it shows especially well when he’s playing one of those games. He manages to get you to play into his plan exactly. Having known him for as long as I have, I know I’m in no danger of his using these manipulations on me in regular life, at least not on purpose, but it’s still annoying as fuck when he gets me to play chess with him. It’s a big part of why I don’t._ _

__Together we form a motley crew of eccentric personalities that generally don’t do well around normal people. Well, Erwin does just fine when he tries. But he can’t be himself. Hanji and I simply don’t try to get along with people, so if others don’t like it, we alienate them. This has given us all this sense of camaraderie that is hard to topple. We don’t even really fight, not much anyway. And they are the only people I really trust with anything approaching emotional feeling bullshit._ _

__Which is why I find myself setting down three mugs on the dining table steaming with freshly brewed tea on Friday night. Hanji and Erwin sit around the small table and take their mugs graciously. I glare at Hanji as they poison their tea with copious volumes of sugar. Up to this point, only minor pleasantries have been exchanged between us, but I’m just waiting for the shoe to drop. They allow me to sit and take a sip of tea before they descend on my simultaneously._ _

__Both of their eyes turn to me, “So,” Hanji starts._ _

__“Levi,” Erwin has a knowing smirk that makes me scowl and glare in his direction._ _

__“Ask your questions, let’s get this over with.”_ _

__Hanji expectedly takes the opportunity first, “So who is this person that caught your fancy?”_ _

__“I didn’t say shit about anyone catching my fancy. I said I think I was on a date. Admittedly, he is very attractive.”_ _

__“Ah, so it’s a man.” Erwin states._ _

__“Tch. Sure.”_ _

__Unfortunately, Erwin is way too damn smart for his own good and catches my lack of straight answer, “How old is he?”_ _

__“Why does that even matter?”_ _

__I should have known misdirection wouldn’t work with these two. Hanji maybe, but never Erwin. Hanji now zeroes in on me even more intensely than before and Erwin continues, “So, younger than you then. And I’ll go ahead and assume it’s by a lot, since you’re so defensive.” I snort. “Hmmm, ten years?”_ _

__Before I can correct him, Hanji jumps in, “Are you dating a 22 year-old?”_ _

__“No! Fuck you guys. And it was one maybe date.”_ _

__Erwin smirks, “Oh you already agreed to more or we wouldn’t be here.”_ _

__I stare pointedly at my tea and avoid their stares. I think they’re holding their breath, waiting for me to speak. Well, Hanji at least. Finally, without looking up, I say, “Seven years.”_ _

__Hanji leans back in their chair and sounds almost disappointed, “Oh, well that’s not so bad, seven is a lucky number afterall.” I look up to find them smiling wide at their own stupid joke._ _

__“Shut the fuck up, Hanji.”_ _

__Erwin cuts in to change the subject slightly and avoid having to help me hide Hanji’s body, “So what’s this guy’s name?”_ _

__And this was the part I was really not looking forward to. I cringe slightly, “Eren.”_ _

__“I KNEW IT!” Hanji jumps out of their chair and bounces excitedly._ _

__Erwin looks utterly baffled, which provides me a small bit of amusement. “I’m missing something here.”_ _

__“That’s because Levi likes me better,” Hanji says triumphantly, finally sitting back down but still vibrating with excitement._ _

__Erwin raises an eyebrow to me, “Actually, that’s because you broke into my apartment while I was in the shower.” Erwin’s eyebrow raises further and I sigh. “Eren owns the tattoo shop next door, I’m sure you noticed it. The only reason I went out with him is because it was the only way he would turn down his shitty music that vibrates through the wall.”_ _

__“I TOLD you you’d get more than you expected. I knew it would go well. Now, what does he look like.”_ _

__Erwin sits back in his chair, nursing his tea, content for now in letting Hanji run the inquisition. “He’s tall-ish,” they both shoot me a look and I glare back, “brown hair, covered in tattoos. Oh, and he has two different coloured eyes.” I mention the last bit as casually as I possibly can, knowing Hanji will latch on to it._ _

__They do. “Heterochromia! That’s great. I had a student with heterochromia in one of my intro classes a few years back. Hmm, maybe it was him…” They trail off._ _

__“What colours?” My eyes widen slightly as I look to Erwin. He’s not usually one for these kinds of questions._ _

__“One’s this crazy intense green and the other is a really light brown that almost looks yellow.”_ _

__Everyone is quiet for a moment, but then Hanji and Erwin both get these huge grins on their faces. Sometimes I really regret my friendship with these two._ _

__“Well, you know,” Hanji starts, “I just happened to notice on the way here that a certain shop is still open.”_ _

__“Oh no, no way in fucking hell. You’ll terrify him.”_ _

__“Oh, come on, Levi. We’ll be good.” Erwin says, his huge smile still plastered across his face. He looks like a fucking pleading puppy. And so does Hanji for that matter. When did I get two dogs? I don’t even like dogs._ _

__“Levi!” Hanji drags out the vowels in my name into a long, pleading whine. I concede just to shut them up._ _

__“Fine, do what you want.”_ _

__“Oh you’re coming, too. You have to introduce us, otherwise why would we be there?”_ _

__“I don’t know, Erwin can get a tattoo or some shit.” Hanji stands and comes over to me. They yank me to standing and starts toward the door. “Fine! Let me go.”_ _

__Erwin stands and follows us as we head out the door and down the narrow set of stairs. We go through my shop to get to the front of the building in order to save time walking around. Hanji and Erwin are oddly quiet for the short walk to the parlour. All bets are off when we walk through the door._ _

__Apparently, the place is considerably busier on Friday evenings than any other time I’d been in the shop. There are several people sitting on the couch in the waiting area and two people are playing pool on the pool table. Christa is here, sitting on the counter with Ymir behind it working furiously on something. It’s Christa that greets us. She waves and hops off the counter gracefully. “Hi, Levi! What are you doing here so late?”_ _

__“I honestly don’t know. Is Eren with someone right now?”_ _

__She nods, “Yeah, they’re pretty busy right now. Most of his stuff is short tonight though. I’m sure he’ll be out soon if you want to wait.”_ _

__I almost tell her that I can come back later, but Hanji comes up behind me and puts their hands on my shoulders, “We can wait!”_ _

__Christa glances up to the new person in confusion. “Ok, the couches are kind of full, sorry.”_ _

__I sigh, “Thanks, Christa. I’ll try to keep these two idiots from fucking anything up.”_ _

__She smiles sympathetically and returns to the counter, reclaiming her perch._ _

__“She’s cute. Who is she?” Hanji says._ _

__“Don’t let Ymir hear you say that, she might kill you. Christa is Ymir’s girlfriend,” I point to Ymir, “She also happens to be my new employee.”_ _

__“You got a new employee?” Erwin appears from behind me._ _

__I nod, “It’ll keep me from having to close anytime I can’t be there. Plus, Christa is the most tolerable normal person I’ve ever been around, so that helps.”_ _

__“I feel like I’ve just been insulted in some way,” Hanji muses, breaking away from our group and looking around at the walls. “These drawings are amazing.”_ _

__I watch as their eyes land on the series over by the counter, “Those are Eren’s. Well, I imagine most of them are, but I know for sure those are,” I explain._ _

__“He’s really good,” Erwin says._ _

__“Yeah,” I say quietly, looking at the drawings again, “A bit gruesome though.” Ymir stands, finished with whatever she was working on and calls someone from the couch area. A short blonde woman with a large blonde man and an excessively tall and nervous looking man stand together and follow Ymir to a back room. “Couches have opened up, let’s go sit.”_ _

__Erwin and I do sit, but Hanji continues wandering around the room, examining the photos and drawings. They make it halfway down the wall before Eren comes out. “Levi?”_ _

__“Hey, brat.” Hanji hears me speak and turns around to look in the direction I am. Eren stands at the entrance to the hall in the back, a few papers clutched between his hands._ _

__“What are you doing here?”_ _

__I stand and walk to him, Erwin and Hanji trailing behind. “Well, I have excessively nosey friends that wanted to meet you.”_ _

__He looks behind me and nods with his eyebrows raised. “Alright. My next appointment had to reschedule so I have a little bit of time.” He steps around me and holds out a hand. Hanji and Erwin take it in turn, “Eren Jaeger.”_ _

__“Erwin Smith. Jaeger, that’s German.”_ _

__“Yup, for hunter.”_ _

__He repeats the introduction with Hanji, “Hanji Zoe. Did you happen to attend Trost University?”_ _

__“I thought I recognised you! I took your intro to anthropology class. I really liked that class. You’re a good teacher.”_ _

__“Well thank you, Eren. Can I ask what more interested you about the subject?”_ _

__I step in here, “Don’t answer that, they’ll never shut up.”_ _

__“They?” Eren asks._ _

__Hanji smiles, but I field the question, “Hanji doesn’t believe in the gender binary.”_ _

__“Yup! Gender neutral pronouns please!” They continue cheerily._ _

__“Okay, I can do that. Apologies in advance if I mess up from time to time.” Eren offers one of his dazzling smiles and I catch myself starting to mimic the action. I’m pretty sure Erwin saw it, too._ _

__“Great. So tell me, Eren, is your heterochromia inherited or a spontaneous mutation?” They lean in close to Eren’s face. I sigh heavily, but let the exchange continue. I have to admit, Eren’s slightly terrified expression is amusing._ _

__“Um, not inherited,” he replies, leaning back a bit and flicking his gaze over to me. I see his plea and raise an eyebrow to him._ _

__Erwin is a bit more considerate than I am. “Hanji, leave the poor guy alone. We promised to be good.”_ _

__They noticeably deflate, but back off. Eren lets out a long breath of relief. “So, do you want to move to the counter? I’d invite you into one of the back rooms, but I should keep an eye on the front since Ymir’s in the back and I don’t pay Christa.”_ _

__Hanji waves him off, “Oh no, don’t worry about it. I actually should get going anyway. I just wanted to meet the man that caught our Levi’s eye.” I hit them._ _

__Eren looks back and forth between Hanji and Erwin for a moment. “Now it makes sense.”_ _

__“What does?” I ask, genuinely confused._ _

__“Why you don’t feel the need to see your parents much. These two make up for it plenty, I’m sure. Armin and Mikasa are kind of like that for me.”_ _

__“Who?” Erwin asks before I can respond._ _

__“Oh, my best friends. Well, Mikasa is actually my adopted sister. But, yeah.”_ _

__“Eloquent,” I quip. Erwin shoots me a disapproving look but Eren doesn’t seem bothered._ _

__“Well, I best be off. Erwin, are you coming?”_ _

__“Yeah, I have some work to do. Keep in touch, Levi. Don’t leave us in the dark for so long anymore.” And with that, they both turn and walk out, leaving Eren and I standing in the back to stare after them._ _

__“Well, that was….” Eren starts._ _

__“Obnoxious?”_ _

__“Overwhelming. They seem nice though. I mean I kind of know a bit about Hanji, but I sat in the back of that class when I did actually go.”_ _

__I turn to him, amused, “Why does that not surprise me?”_ _

__He smiles a big goofy smile at me, but a customer chooses that moment to approach him. “Excuse me.”_ _

__Eren turns to the customer, offering his full attention. I take the opportunity to depart myself and offer a wave to him before I open the door. He waves back with another grin as I turn and leave._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week, we meet some new people and learn a bit of Eren's backstory.
> 
> Comments, kudos, and bookmarks much much appreciated.


	3. Purple Petunia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petunias signify resentment and anger but also mean 'your presence soothes me.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so for those of you who follow me on Tumblr, you know why this suddenly went restricted to AO3 users. A mishap mostly my own fault resulted in my coworkers finding my AO3 and this and due to the less than safe for work nature of much of my writing, I did it to protect myself. Only one coworker actually saw the account and only read the first few lines of this as far as I know. So, the damage _could_ have been way worse. But this is going back to public and after two days home sick from work I might even feel alright making everything public again soon.
> 
> Also, this chapter has us introducing two new, very important characters as well as some backstory on Eren. When I was planning this chapter, I had some difficulties deciding on what exactly Eren's backstory was so I ended up bleeding myself into him a lot more than I really intended. Because of that, this chapter is really emotional for me. Not sure if it'll come off that way to any of you, but I hope it at least is an insight into Eren's character. It certainly is for Levi.
> 
> I have to add content warnings for sexual and emotional abuse, nothing explicit, but it's talked about. Because of that, I'm bumping the rating to mature.
> 
> Comments, kudos, bookmarks, etc. are very much appreciated.
> 
> Also, thanks to [Renee](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com) for all her amazing help and betaing all of my stuff, not only this. She's the best and deserves all the love.
> 
> I have a [tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com).

It’s been three weeks and several lunch dates at Rosie’s and I have to admit, Eren is not terrible to be around and really really nice to look at.

Like, really nice.

Okay, so I find him more attractive than I’ve found anyone before. I found myself looking forward to the days we’d go out together. Honestly, I could have done without all the dates and chatting and whatever. I’d really just like to fuck him into the mattress. Or the pool table. Or the counter. Or anywhere, really. I think I have a problem.

And now, I find myself waiting for Eren on a Friday evening in Dancing Titan. I closed Petal Wings about fifteen minutes ago and Eren said he’d be finished with his appointments for the day by now. He was wrong. So, while I wait, I’ve taken to shooting balls around on the pool table. It’s fairly mindless and I seem to be pretty good at it.

The two ball is giving me particular trouble. There are only three balls left on the table, the two, eight, and my cue ball. Unfortunately, the cue ball is near the center of the table and the blue two ball is at one end, centered between the two corner pockets. It’s a tough shot, but I think I can make it if I bank the cue ball off the wall just right. I lean over the table, holding myself up with my right hand and letting my left line up my cue stick.

Just before I take the shot I hear shuffling behind me. I bet Eren just came out, but he isn’t making himself known so I smirk and make the shot. The little white ball flies away when the stick hits it. It bounces off the wall just right and angles toward the blue two. The resounding crack of the two balls coming into contact just right os extremely satisfying and it’s now that I finally straighten to watch the blue ball fly into the corner pocket.

I turn when I hear the clapping, “It’s too bad you have to stop, I was enjoying the view.” Eren smirks and I roll my eyes. Ymir makes a gagging sound and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like ‘get a room.’

“Eight ball is still on the table,” I suggest.

“Yeah, but we’re on a deadline. Ready?”

This was news to me, I thought we were just going to the coffee shop again. Nonetheless, I nod and he runs around a moment to make sure everything is in order for him to leave. “Okay, Ymir, I’m going. Don’t burn the place down and please, for the love of all things that are good, do NOT have sex in the back rooms. In fact, unless she’s strictly here to help watch the desk, Christa shouldn’t even come over.” I frown, disgusted by the idea.

Ymir, however, looks smug, “I’ll be good, boss man. She’s having forced family dinner anyway. Though, I’m sure she’d like your idea much better. I sure do.”

“Ech, disgusting. I need to go shower. Eren, can we leave now?”

“Yes! I’m serious, Ymir. Goodnight!”

Ymir waves lazily, “Night.”

We left together, stepping into the balmy air. “Where are we going?”

“Well,” suddenly Eren looks extremely nervous, “I met your friends already. Mine have been out of town, but they came back this morning. I thought we could meet them for dinner.” His hands wring together and he focuses intently forward as we walk.

Well, this isn’t at all what I was expecting. I can’t say I’m particularly looking forward to meeting his friends. I didn’t even really want him to meet mine, but they wouldn’t stand for being left out. But I suppose if this is going to be a thing, which three weeks of coffee dates seems to say it is, then it would have to happen sooner or later. “Okay.”

His head snaps up to look over at me and he stops walking, “Really?”

I stop walking, too, and face him, “What, did you think I’d say no? And just walk away? Say see ya, don’t want to meet your shitty friends?”

He glances away, “Um, kinda, yeah.”

“I know I’m an ass, but give me some more credit than that, please. Come on.” I start walking away. It takes him a moment of staring after me before he rushes to catch up again, grinning like an idiot.

“So where is dinner?” I ask several minutes later.

“Armin and Mikasa’s apartment. It’s in the same building as mine.” We let silence hang between us after that. We walk another ten minutes to a building that I’m honestly not looking forward to stepping into. It looks like it’s about one step up from a sleazy pay-by-the-hour motel.

“You live here?” He nods, clearly not noticing my distaste for the building.

“Come on.” He grabs my hand and leads me into the building. I can feel myself tense as we pass the threshold. I make every effort to avoid touching as much as possible. Eren leads me into the elevator and presses the button for the fifth floor. His hand still grips mine and I look down at them, joined so innocuously. It strikes me that this is the first time we’ve ever really held hands. I don’t really see the appeal, his hand is slightly clammy and a little gross. But I tolerate it, figuring it probably means more to Eren than it does to me.

The elevator dings as it comes to a halt. The doors open at a crawling pace and we step out into the hallway together. Armin and Mikasa’s apartment is at the end of the hall and Eren relinquishes my hand to knock on the door. A few moments pass and I can hear muffled sounds from the other side of the door before it opens and a man a bit taller than me with blond hair pulled up halfway into a messy ponytail looks at us with intense blue eyes. “Eren!”

The man, who I’m forced to assume is Armin, throws his arms around Eren in an exuberant embrace. Eren returns the hug with a big smile and a chuckle. “It’s good to see you again, Armin. How was the flight?”

Armin steps back again, “Long.” He turns to me with a polite smile and holds out a hand, “You must be Levi. Armin Arlert.” I take his hand and am surprised by his strong grip. “Well, come on in. Mikasa is in the kitchen.”

We follow him through the small hall and into a large living room area with a kitchenette off to one end. A pretty Asian woman with shoulder length black hair is stirring something in a large pot on the stove in the kitchen. “They’re here, Mikasa,” Armin announces cheerily.

She turns, maintaining her stirring speed, and looks over at us. It’s now that I notice a fair bit of her exposed skin is covered in tattoos. I recognise some of the style as belonging to Eren. I felt it was probably a safe assumption that all of them were his. I glanced back at Armin for a moment. He wore jeans and a long sleeve sweater which hung loosely on his shoulders and revealed a light green shirt underneath. His clothes covered him very well, and despite the sweet boy-next-door aura he gave off, I’m willing to bet he has some of Eren’s art engraved in his skin as well.

The woman speaks, shocking me out of my musings, “He looks like an asshole. A short asshole.”

I narrow my eyes at her, “I am, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t talk about me as if I’m not standing right here.”

We stare at each other a long moment and I feel Eren fidgeting next to me, trying to figure out how to step in. Finally, she looks away, toward Eren, “I don’t like him.”

“Mikasa! I’m sorry, Levi.”

Before he embarrasses himself trying to make excuses for her, I wave him off. “It’s okay. It’s nice to meet you, Mikasa.” She stares, gaze evaluating again, before she returns her attention to Eren.

“It’s nice to see you, Eren. How are things?”

Eren chuckles, “You’ve only been gone a month, and you just insulted the only new thing in my life.” She smiles and I realise that she cares for Eren far more than just a friend. I like her, despite the fact that all she’s done so far is dislike me.

“Armin, this is almost done. Do you want to start the pasta?” She says after a few more pleasantries are exchanged.

“Oh! Yeah, uh, you guys make yourselves at home.” Armin rushes over to join Mikasa in the kitchen. When he does, she backs away. He turns down the flame under the pot she had been stirring and takes out a new one to fill with water. Mikasa grabs a thick book that looks like a photo album and motions for Eren to sit on the couch with her. I stand somewhat awkwardly where I was left, not really wanting to budge in on the reunion on the couch.

Before I really realise what I’m doing, I find myself walking toward Armin in the kitchenette and opening my mouth, “Is there anything I can do to help?” Not really what I was going for, but I guess it’s better than nothing.

Armin looks over his shoulder, “I’ve got this pretty well covered. You could set the table?”

I nod, but Armin has already turned back to his pasta. “Where…” my voice trails off. This is really uncharacteristic of me.

“Oh, everything is out on the table already, it just need to be set out.”

I look over to the dining table I hadn’t given a second glance to before and see a pile of plates with silverware on top of it. The plates are simple white, but look like they aren’t completely cheap and also appear to be clean. I distribute the four plates so that they sit neatly in front of each chair and then set the silverware out, adding a napkin under each fork. One fork has a spot on it on I leave that off to the side until I finish setting the rest. Once finished, I take the fork to the sink. There’s a sponge and dish soap sitting nearby, so I start scrubbing at the utensil until it gleams to my satisfaction.

When I turn back to the table, Armin is there holding a steaming pot. His confused face makes me feel like I should explain myself. I don’t like this whole feeling out of place thing. “There was a spot, I cleaned it.” Armin just looked at me a little perplexedly and then tossed his head over a bit to indicate I should move.

“Levi! Come look at these pictures.” Eren’s voice calls from the couch so I set the fork in its rightful place and approach the couch where he and Mikasa are sitting close. When I get close, Eren motions for me to sit next to him. He pulls the photo album out of Mikasa’s lap and shoves it into mine. “They went on a tour in Europe. My parents happened to be on vacation in Germany at the beginning of the trip so they met up there. Look.”

He points excitedly at a photograph with four people in front of a gothic church with a large rottweiler off to the side. Two of the people are familiar, Mikasa and Armin have their arms around each other. Armin has a huge smile plastered on his face and since he’s wearing short sleeves, I can see I was right in my earlier assumption that he had ink hidden under his sleeves. Mikasa has a soft smile, much more subdued but no less genuine. Next to Mikasa are two older people, a man and woman. The woman looks so strikingly like Eren that even if he hadn’t prefaced the picture with the speech about his parents, I would have known.

She’s beautiful. Her face is shining with the same childlike hope Eren has and her eyes sparkle with the odd shade of green in Eren’s left eye. Her brown hair is a few shades lighter than his and tied loosely and allowed to fall over one shoulder. One of her hands rests on Mikasa’s shoulder while the other is hidden behind her husband’s back. He’s an interesting contrast to her. He’s got shoulder length hair that looks to have once been black or a very dark brown but is now greyed considerably. He has a sparse but neat goatee and wears circular, frameless glasses reminiscent of that one guy from the Beatles. His expression is stern, but it’s still obvious that he is enjoying himself.

All in all, it’s a lovely photograph of four happy people. “You look like your mom.”

Eren’s cheeks flush and he smiles, “Yeah, people always say that.”

“Dinner’s ready!” Armins calls as he sets a big bowl of pasta in the center of the table. The three of us occupying the couch all rise. Mikasa goes to get the pot of sauce and place it on the table as well while Armin brings a bowl of salad and Eren and I take our seats at the table. “How’s wine for drinks? We have red and white.”

“Red, please,” Eren answers.

Armin looks to me, “Red sounds good.”

He brings out four wine glasses as Mikasa takes a seat on the other side of Eren and sets them on the table before us. He hurries back to the kitchenette and brings back two open bottles of wine, one white and one red. He pours red for Eren and I and white for him and Mikasa. Then finally he joins us, sitting between Mikasa and I.

“Let’s eat! Help yourselves.” Armin gestures to the spread in front of us. Eren grabs for the pasta bowl first and Mikasa starts with the salad. The bowls each make their rounds and sauce is piled on to each plate.

I don’t cook particularly often. I usually just pop something from the store in the microwave or oven when I come up from the shop. Sometimes, I do though, and I would say I’m fairly decent at it. Armin blows me out of the water. I never thought something as simple as pasta and meat sauce could have such an explosive flavour. I guess there is something to be said for someone that isn’t as lazy as me and just adds meat to marinara sauce. The sauce has a smooth, fresh tomato taste with spices and herbs accentuating the dish. The meat adds its own flavour and melts in my mouth. Even the fairly mundane salad surprises me. He must have made the dressing from scratch as well. “This is really good, Armin.”

I look up from my plate and see Eren smiling proudly and Mikasa staring with the same hard expression. Armin blushes a bit. “It’s nothing really, but thank you.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Armin. The shortie is right,”

“Yup, Mika and Levi have it right, this is amazing. I missed your cooking.” I raise a brow slightly at Eren’s nickname for Mikasa. Somehow, I don’t think that’s a public privilege.

Armin smiles appreciatively, “That’s just because you can’t cook for anything. What have you been living off of while we’ve been gone?”

Eren puffs up his chest a bit, “Coffee and good intentions!” he chuckles, “But really? Ramen mostly.”

“That’s grossly unhealthy,” I mention between bites.

He shrugs, “I’m young, I can afford it for a few more years.”

The conversation lapses for only a moment before Armin comes back with, “So Levi, you own a flower shop?” I nod, “Why flowers? If you don’t mind my saying, you don’t particularly strike me as someone to sell flowers.”

It was the question Eren had been asking since we met. I’d never answered, and he just came up with wilder and wilder theories. I guess it was time to put them to rest, “I just like beautiful things.”

“Well that’s way less exciting than spreading the zombie apocalypse cure or secretly breeding amoebas.” Armin and Mikasa both look at Eren strangely, but don’t say anything.

“I never claimed it was exciting.” Armin looks between us with a thoughtful, almost calculating expression that is all too familiar, “What?”

He starts a moment when he realises I’ve caught his look, but then he just smiles. “You two are perfect for each other.”

Mikasa scowls and Eren blushes. “You should meet Erwin,” I tell him. He cocks his head in question, “My friend. He likes strategy games, especially chess, and is always two steps ahead of everyone else in a room. You remind me of him.”

Eren looks like he’s examining Armin in a new light, “He’s right.”

“I’d love to meet him then. Sounds like I’d finally have a challenge in chess again,” he grins and Eren sticks his tongue out at him.

The conversation drifts after that and I pay little attention. Most of it centers on Armin and Mikasa’s Europe trip and all of the places they visited. The only time I really give it any vested interest is when they talk about France. I may never have been there myself, but I have roots there and it’s nice to hear about. It seems like they really enjoyed themselves. Armin lit up like a Christmas tree whenever he talked about any beaches they went to: sea, ocean, or otherwise. I saw Eren lean in closer for those bits as well.

Most of the time during the meal, I spent the time observing the people I’m sitting with. Armin has his boy-next-door thing going on, but when he settles into a conversation, he gets snarky. His humour is really dry and I actually enjoy it a lot. Mikasa softens considerably when speaking with either Armin or Eren, but especially Eren. She still maintains a hard glare whenever I try to contribute to the conversation. Somehow I think that there is more underneath her apparent hatred of me than the simple fact I’m dating her brother. I’d have to find a way to confront her about it.

Eren is the most fascinating to watch for me, but that has been true since we met. He has a rapt attention whenever someone is talking, especially when it’s about something he’s truly interested in. He’s extraordinarily expressive, I never have to wonder what he’s feeling. It’s easy to see that he’s excited to hear about his friends’ trip, regretful he couldn’t go as well, bittersweet about missing out on the Germany visit with his parents. Every shift in his emotions is like a beacon on his face and in his eyes.

Eventually, long after the table had been cleared of empty plates and our glasses had all been refilled, Mikasa gets up and walks off somewhere behind me. Armin asks about coffee and he and Eren both have a mug, while I decline. When he offers me something else, I wave him off and ask where I can go to have a cigarette.

He points me to a door at the back of the living room near where a set of stairs leads to the second floor of the apartment, “There’s a balcony through that door. There should be a little trash bin out there, but I don’t have any ashtrays.” I nod and get up to go out to the balcony.

When I open the door, Mikasa whirls around in surprise. “Oh, it’s you.” She turns back to looking out into the night. I step out onto the small wooden balcony and close the door behind me. Mikasa watches as I take my pack of cigarettes from my pocket, place one between my lips, and light it. I take a long drag from it, letting the smoke fill my lungs and lean against the balcony railing.

“Smoking is bad for you.” Her gaze is back out toward the sky, lit up by the bright city lights.

“Tch, thanks for the health lesson. What do you care?” She’s quiet, not offering an answer. Not that I really expected one. Pretty sure she had said it out of distaste rather than care for my health anyway.

We stood together in silence for a while, the smoke of my cigarette floating between us. About halfway through it, I finally ask what I had been wondering for the last couple hours of being here, “Why do you hate me so much?”

She doesn’t move and doesn't speak. I almost give up on getting a response when she turns her head slightly and looks at me, “You’re with Eren.”

Not a lie, I’m sure, but I know there’s more to it than that, “So you’re like this with any trist he brings home? There’s more that you aren’t telling me.”

She hums, and I take several more hits off the cigarette in silence before she speaks again, “Do you care about him?”

The question catches me off guard. After the moment of initial shock wears off, I think on the question. My relationship history is abysmal. I don’t do people and I especially don’t do romantic relationships. I’ve never really felt romantically for another person. I’ve sort of tried in the past. I had a couple relationships in college (including an unfortunate one night stand with the illustrious Hanji) that really never did anything for me more than provide sexual release. But Eren isn’t quite like that. I can’t really say I have romantic feelings for him, not yet anyway. But it isn’t out of the realm of possibility. “I’m honestly not sure how I feel about him.”

She turns completely and leans back into the corner of the railing and looks at me. “He’s crazy about you.”

I look back out to the sky. The pinkish glow makes it look like it’s just after sunset, but I know that is just an illusion from the excessive light pollution from the city. “I know.”

“I just don’t want him to get hurt again.”

Now this is what I was trying to get to, “Again?”

She sighs. This is clearly more than she wanted to reveal, but I think she realises I’m not backing down. She nods. “A few years back, when we were still in college, Eren started dating this guy, Thomas.” I already hate him. Thomas is a stupid ass name. “He was really really enamoured with this guy. At the time, I held the view that as long as Eren was happy, then it was okay. And it was, for a while.”

She got quiet again, but I didn’t interrupt. I had a feeling this was something she needed to gather her thoughts to be able to tell. I started a second cigarette before she continued, “Thomas was a bit of a bully, but he was always sweet to Eren. They were practically joined at the hip. For a year Eren’s smile fooled even me and Armin.” That couldn’t have been easy for him, his emotions are so obvious.

“Armin noticed it first. Eren saw us less and less and when we did see him, Thomas was always with him. The rare moments when we were alone with Eren is when the hurt showed through. Something wasn’t right. But with Thomas commandeering virtually every spare moment Eren had, we couldn’t talk to him. When Eren got fired from the apprenticeship he was under, I couldn’t take it anymore.” Her fists clenched and she shook. Were it a colder night I might have believed she was just cold. As it were, it’s warm and I can see the fury in her eyes.

“I bitched Thomas out, to put it lightly. And he agreed to give Eren some time to spend away from him, time for friends, family, and work. I didn’t like it, but Eren wanted to stay with him despite the controlling nature he showed. Eren got his apprenticeship back and spent more time with us. It seemed like everything was alright again. But Eren got more despondent, showed up to hang out with us more and more exhausted.”

She pauses, so I comment, “I can’t even imagine him despondent.”

“Exactly. It took us a serious sit down with multiple assurances that we wouldn’t do anything before he told us. He didn’t say it in so many words, but Thomas was emotionally and sexually abusing him. Of course, he didn’t see it that way. He thought he was broken. He was convinced that he was being a bad boyfriend because he wasn’t in the mood for sex when Thomas was. He thought he was a terrible person for not feeling like going out with his boyfriend and just wanting to sit around and play video games. He was twenty-one years old! He’s supposed to want to sit around and drink beer and go to parties and be a fucking twenty-one year-old.”

Her fury is completely understandable. I’m feeling some well-placed anger myself. No one deserves that kind of treatment. Least of all someone like Eren who lives like it’s his purpose to please people and be good. I’ve known him for less than a month and I can say that.

“He loved Thomas. Probably still does, I don’t bring it up. All he wanted was to make him happy and Thomas took every advantage of that. He used him for sex and to validate himself. He manipulated him. And Eren couldn’t see it. We tried, we tried so fucking hard to tell him how unhealthy it was. But we promised him not to do anything and he couldn’t see it. It wasn’t until several months later, after graduation came and went, that Thomas broke up with him. He was devastated. It took him three months to see the relationship for what it was and then he was devastated all over again.”

Throughout this whole confession, if that’s what I could call it, I had been increasing the rate at which I was smoking trying to maintain the boiling rage that is bubbling under the surface. Mikasa stops me when I go for my pack for a third cigarette. I look her in the eyes, the rage making a slow burn in my stomach. “He should be locked up.”

For the first time all night, Mikasa smiles at me. It’s small, and it’s more to herself than to me really, but it’s there. “Yeah.”

Suddenly, the door opens and warm light from inside spills onto the wood of the balcony. Eren pokes his head out, “Hey, there you are. What’s going on out here?”

“I was just leaving,” Mikasa says and opens the door further to slide passed Eren and back into the apartment. Eren looks after her in confusion a bit but then steps out to join me.

“No one is bleeding or broken, so that’s good.” I let out an amused huff. “What were you guys talking about?”

“You.”

He moves up close to me, our arms touching. “She told you about Thomas, didn’t she.” It isn’t a question, so I don’t answer. “He wasn’t a bad guy.”

“Sounds like he was pretty shitty to me.”

“Not really. He did shitty things, but he wasn’t bad. Things were really good for a while.”

A warm breeze picked up and ruffled his hair a bit. I let quiet fall between us, enjoying his presence in the warm night. A few minutes later he shifts, but before he leaves I speak, “Eren.”

“Hmm?”

“You never have to do anything you don’t want to. It doesn’t matter who asks. I will never force you into something that you don’t want or that makes you uncomfortable. Don’t ever let anyone take advantage of you like that.” I look over to him and he’s just staring at me. He looks… Surprised? He shouldn’t be. Incredulous? Apprehensive? Understandable. Thankful? He doesn’t need to be. All these emotions swim across his eyes, but above all, there’s a softness. He smiles, then leans down and plants a tender kiss on my lips. All those emotions in his eyes are transferred to the way his lips press into mine.

Then he pulls away. “We should get going, yeah? If we stay too much longer, Armin will try to make us dessert.”

“If he’s making it, I don’t think I could find it in me to complain. But yeah.” He grabs my hand and leads me back inside. We say our goodbyes and part from the nice little apartment. I’m reminded again how disgusting the rest of the building is. At least Armin and Mikasa seem to keep their place up pretty well.

We walk back to my apartment mostly in silence, with only occasional conversation between us. When we get to the back door that opens to the stairs to my apartment, Eren fidgets and acts all awkward. It’s irritatingly adorable.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you then.”

I open the door, but turn back to him. “I’m not making you walk all the way back alone. Stay here tonight.”

I watch surprise and then ecstatic glee pass over his features. He nods quickly. I roll my eyes and hold the door open wider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, Mikasa and Armin's apartment is identical to the one I lived in with my lovely beta my last year of undergrad.
> 
> If you're curious about the one night stand with Hanji, we will be revisiting it _much_ later in the story.
> 
> Also, I hope you guys understand why Mikasa and Armin didn't do more to keep Eren away from Thomas. It's probably my biggest insecurity about this chapter. Just realise that they _wanted_ to do more, but they also wanted to honour Eren's wishes. And also that if they _had_ done something, Eren may never have figured out what was wrong with the relationship and would have just resented Mikasa and Armin for breaking them up.
> 
> Next chapter we meet a very important character and get a rating bump for smut ;]


	4. White Heather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White heather symbolises protection and mean wishes will come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh guys, I almost forgot to update because so much is going on today, but I did remember! AND we get to meet an OC my mom helped me name who I am personally REALLY proud of. So I hope you like him too. Also, hope you guys like smut cuz there's some in this chapter as well as the next few. I went a little nuts.
> 
> Apologies for any mistakes in language, I used google translate for almost all of it.
> 
> Thanks to [Renee](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com) for suggesting this OC and helping me out.
> 
> I have a [tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com) and I LOVE hearing from you guys.
> 
> As always, comments, kudos, bookmarks, etc much appreciated.

After a night together turned into the whole weekend, Eren started coming around most mornings to bug me while I was working. Sometimes he’d stay until lunch and we’d go out or up to my apartment, but usually he left before that so he could open up. At least he has a work ethic. It’s not for another week and a half that I find myself wandering over to the tattoo shop on a rare day off. Having Christa around has been great in that respect, I am finally getting a chance to take a break from spending every spare moment in the shop. And I can open on Saturdays sometimes now.

Upon opening the familiar door with blacked out windows, I’m greeted by a loud, deep barking. A large rottweiler who appears to have been laying down on a dog bed in the corner is now standing and approaching me, barking incessantly.

“Where the fuck did the dog come from?”

Eren appears from the back room, “ _Was is los? Regenbogen! Nein, lass es!_ ” The dog looks back at him and thankfully shuts up.

“Okay, now I’m really confused. You speak German?”

Behind the counter, Ymir, who until now has just been watching amusedly, sniggers. Eren shoots her a look before answering, “Turkish too. And a few phrases of Japanese from Mika.”

“You continue to surprise me,” I point to the elephant in the room, or dog rather, though it’s big enough to be an elephant, “And what is that?”

Eren kneels down and holds out his arms. The dog bounds over to him and he scratches behind its ears, “This is Regenbogen, but we just call him Regen for short.”

“Where did it come from?”

Eren frowns, “He is mine.”

With all of the flatness I can muster I reply, “You have a dog. I didn’t know you had a dog.”

He cocks his head, still petting at the dog’s head. “Really? Well, I guess that makes some sense. He was with Mika and Armin in Europe, so he’s been gone most of the time you’ve known me.” Now that he says that, I recall the photograph of his parents with Mikasa and Armin. There was a dog in it, and if I remember right, it was a rottweiler, could easily be the same dog.

“Fantastic,” I mutter dryly. Eren doesn’t hear me, probably for the best.

“Hey, it’s good you’re here, actually. I’m clear for a while and Regen needs a walk.” At the word walk, the dog starts wiggling excitedly, shaking its butt attempting to wag its tail, and licking at Eren’s arm. Disgusting.

“Eren…” I think it isn’t until now that he finally looks at me. Really looks at me I mean, because he’s been looking at me since I got here. But until now his focus has been elsewhere. But now, he’s examining me. It doesn’t happen often, but he’s getting better at reading me. Now, I’m sure he’s seeing my clenched fists and rigid posture, the fact that my eyes are glued to the dog he’s petting, how I haven’t moved since I walked in.

“You don’t like dogs.”

I try to relax. I try to move. I make every attempt to look like it’s something I can just brush off like it’s nothing. It’s not even so much that I don’t like dogs themselves. They’re fine. It’s the dirt and grime, the disgusting tongue that seems to love nothing more than to find its way to a person’s skin. It makes my skin crawl.

Okay, so my cleanliness is a bit more than just a desire for cleanliness. There’s a touch of obsessive compulsive disorder in there. But it’s never been a particular problem or hindered my life. It’s pretty minor, only manifesting in my slightly excessive need to be clean and to be in a clean space. Slight mysophobia, I guess.

“They’re gross.” Based on the way Eren’s face falls, that was more harsh than I intended it to be. “I didn’t…” but I’m not sure what words I’m looking for.

Eren’s eyes meet mine. “You don’t have to touch him. He’s really well trained, he’ll be good. Will you come with me?”

The fact that he gives me the option means everything to me. I nod slowly.

He flashes that dazzling smile again and I almost feel like I could let the dog lick me all over if he just keeps smiling like that. “Great! Regen, _geh raus._ ” The dog runs past me to the door and sits, stub of a tail wagging as much as it can while it stares back at Eren. “We’ll be back, Ymir.” She raises a hand in farewell and Eren walks over to me to grab my hand before opening the door for the dog.

Upon seeing the enthusiastic bound of its legs take off the moment the door is opened I turn to Eren, “No leash?”

He smiles, “I told you, he’s really well trained. Watch. Regen!” The dog pauses in its rampant frolicking, “ _Sitz!_ ” The massive body instantly sits. I guess that command means sit. “ _Platz!_ ” It falls down to its belly and lays down. “ _Fuss._ ” With as little grace as could be expected, the dog brings itself to its feet and runs toward us, but at the last second turns and sits to Eren’s left and stares up at him. Eren smiles proudly over to me for a moment before returning his attention to the dog, “ _So ist brav, geh voraus._ ” Much calmer this time, the dog gets up and walks off a bit, but stays fairly close. We start walking again. “He’s got some Schutzhund training too, but that’s… intense.”

“You know, you speaking German is pretty sexy.”

He blushes, but then he smiles wickedly, “ _Sie sind wünschenswert die ganze Zeit. Nasıl Türkçesi hakkında?_ ”

I stiffen, “What did you just say to me?”

He laughs, “That defeats the purpose. But half was in German, half in Turkish.”

“Hmm, if I had to choose, and as devastating as it would be, I think I would choose to lose my sight so I could still hear you.”

“ _Seni görmek mümkün değil varlık gibi olmaz._ ” He smirks and looks over to me.

“That’s just not fair. Turkish?”

He nods. “I just said I wouldn’t like not being able to see you. You’re too pretty.”

“Pretty. That’s the word you choose to describe me?”

“Pretty, hot, gorgeous. There are many words. Also short, grumpy, ornery.”

“Okay, okay. I get it. I’m an ass.”

He’s quiet for a moment, then suddenly speaks again, “Okay, so, serious question.”

I glance over at him briefly and see his gaze is focused on the dog sniffing at a bush ahead of us. “What?”

“Why _are_ you such an ass, is there some tragic backstory or something I should know about?”

“You must be a level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.” He doesn’t laugh, so he clearly doesn’t get the joke. “It’s a joke, dumbass. There is no tragic backstory. I don’t really know why I’m such a dick. Coping mechanism I guess.”

He looks at me with something approaching concern. I can’t even begin to fathom why. “Coping with what?”

“I don’t know, stupid people? Social interaction? The fact that I wasn’t always so blasé about my height and people saw that as weakness? I’m sure there’s some psychology to it, I just don’t give a shit. It’s how I am and if people don’t like it, oh well. And generally, good riddance.” I shrug. Eren looks like he doesn’t like something. “I’m not going to apologise for it.”

“No, I just… I don’t know. I feel like it’s not fair. People are so terrible.”

We make it to a small grass lot with some benches. We sit down while Regen runs around and sniffs at random spots in the grass. Probably some other dog’s bathroom. Gross. “Life isn’t fair, people are shit. We all just learn how to deal with it.”

He hums a response and we sit in mutual silence, watching the dog enjoy the late summer day. Considering he’s a big dog carrying who knows what diseases or fleas in his coat, he has been true to Eren’s word. He’s stayed respectfully away from us. Can a dog be respectful? Even though, sometimes he’ll sit kind of close and stare at us with these big, dark eyes that just look so pathetic. It’s kind of cute. Actually, reminds me of Eren sometimes, trying so hard to please those around him.

Goddamnit. The big lunk is growing on me.

Still don’t want to touch him. Who knows when his last bath was. And there’s still the chance he could lick me. I shudder at the thought. Eren throws an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him slightly. I’m a little stiff, but I let it happen. I may not do affection well, and I don’t really get it, but with Eren everything seems okay and kind of nice. I even get curious about him and his life. I’ve never been curious about a person before. Not even Hanji and Erwin. But they never really let me be curious, they just force information on me that I may or may not care about.

Speaking of curiosity, “What made you want to be a tattoo artist?”

He’s quiet for a long time, and I’m sort of worried I may have crossed some kind of line. He doesn’t have many, but they clearly exist. Eventually, though, he responds, “I’ve always been into drawing. Ever since I was a kid I always doodled in class on my assignments and in my notes. It was pretty common for me to get notes next to stupid little pictures on tests from my teachers. I didn’t really have any big aspirations when I was younger, just go to college and get a job. But dad did.” He sighs and I lean into him a little more. I hate when he gets like this.

“Don’t get me wrong here. I love my dad to death, he’s a great guy and he works hard for our family. He just has some… skewed ideas of what I should do with my life. He expects a lot from me. I think it’s more that he thinks I’ve got all this potential and that I’m not using it by ‘sitting around and drawing all day.’” He uses air quotes around the last few words with his free hand. “He used to be a lot worse about it. He told me he wouldn’t help pay for college unless I got a ‘useful’ degree. I went with business management, which as it turns out has been pretty useful for me. He wasn’t thrilled, but accepted it. Pretty sure he would have rather I sought a pre medical degree, follow in his footsteps and all. He’s a neurosurgeon, by the way.”

“You’re getting more use out of your degree than I am.”

“What did you study?”

“Literature.”

“Really? You know, that fits, somehow. Anyway, I took as many art electives as I could get away with in college. Managed a minor in it. Around the end of sophomore year I was approached by a friend that liked my work and asked if I’d design something for them for a tattoo. That was Jean actually, you met him. He gave me all the details about what he wanted, which were really vague actually, and told me to run with it. I ended up coming up with this sort of elaborate phoenix rising out of the ashes. He said it symbolised character growth from fire or something. When I brought him back a finished piece, he loved it, and my only request was that I wanted to go with him.

“The first place we walked into I immediately made him walk out of. I didn’t care how good any of the artists in that place were, it looked like it had all the makings for spreading all sorts of diseases.” Heh, man after my own heart in some respects, I suppose. Comforting. “We found a much better place that didn’t give me the creeps. I was fascinated by everything. The artist introduced herself, complimented my design, and told us all about the process. Jean was kind of a dick about that, because he’d gotten work done before, but I listened to every word. I think she figured out I’d be interested as soon as we started talking. She answered every question I had while she did the tattoo. As we left, she mentioned offhandedly that she needed a new apprentice, that she was getting old and wanted to pass on her trade. Some bullshit like that.

“Took a lot of convincing from Jean and weeks of thought on my part before I started really considering it. I spent a lot of spare time researching tattoos and how they worked and what went into essentially painting on someone’s skin with a needle. I ended up back in that shop, with a portfolio and a little hope. She smiled when she saw me come in and said she’d been waiting for me to come back. I spent three years as her apprentice, using Mika and Armin and myself as test skin for building my skills. It’s how I met Ymir, actually. The artist I was under was her aunt, Ilse.”

Eren was long since lost in a trance of memories. A brief flash of hurt dances across his features. I remember Mikasa said something about him getting fired from his apprenticeship during the mess with Thomas. He’s probably remembering that. But he continues without mentioning it, “After I graduated and finished at Ilse’s, I got a job at another shop for a while and saved every penny I made. Since I started tattooing, I’d wanted to open my own shop. Obviously, I got to do that a couple months ago.” He leans back and sighs, “Feels like it’s been longer.”

At some point, Regen had come over and jumped up on the bench with us. I’m not really sure why he thought he’d fit on the small bench, but now he’s curled up on Eren’s left side, big blocky head resting on his lap. Eren’s absently running his hand down his back. I’m surprisingly alright with the proximity to the dog. I still don’t want to touch him, but he’s not so bad I guess.

“The hardest thing I ever had to tell my dad was that I was making a career out of tattooing. Coming out to him was loads easier and he reacted better. I think the only reason he didn’t immediately cut me off is because of mom. After I started getting good, she came in and let me do a small piece on her ankle. It says _aile_ in some nice script. Means family. Dad shut up about it after that. He still won’t come by when I’m at work and he doesn’t like to talk about it, but he’s better. He at least doesn’t look so disappointed whenever he sees me.”

In an effort to bring something a little less heavy back, I ask, “What was the first tattoo you got?”

He breathes out a huff of amusement, “Don’t laugh.” I glare at him. He holds out his left arm to me, wrist up. “See that little black star on my wrist? That was the first tattoo I got and the first one I did.”

I’m not really sure why he thought I’d laugh at him. I mean, I don’t get it, but I don’t really get tattoos in general. “You tattooed yourself?”

“Plenty of times. Actually, anything that I could reach well enough, I did myself. Everything else, Ilse or Ymir did.”

“You’re amazing,” I say it quietly. I don’t really know if I mean for him to hear or not.

Apparently he does, “Not really. Not any more than anyone else.”

I sit up and turn toward him, “No, really. You face people trying to put you down all over the place and yet you manage to get passed all of it. You’re so determined and focused. It’s incredible.” His cheeks are bright red and he opens his mouth to try to say something but I stop him, “Don’t try to be modest. Just accept the compliment.”

“I… thank you.”

We sit on the bench for a little while longer before getting up and heading back to the shop. On the way back, I ask a question I’d been thinking about for a while now, “Why does Regen stay in the shop?”

“Well, I don’t want to leave him home alone all day. Plus, he’s schutzhund trained. He can bite on command. It keeps the less desirables away. Not that he’d actually do anything to anyone without my express command, he’s just a big love. But rottweilers have the stigma and people don’t know. So it deters crime. Plus, he’s a sweetie and even Ymir likes him.”

“When’s the last time he had a bath?”

Eren looks at me strangely, “Uh, I’m sure Mika and Armin bathed him while they were gone. But not since he got back. Why?”

I sigh, “The reason I’m not a fan of dogs, other than just not enjoying obnoxious barking, is because they’re dirty. That’s why I don’t really want to be near him. I don’t have any real problem with dogs themselves.”

Just as we make it to the door and he opens it for me he flashes a conspiratory smile, “Noted. Regen, _geh rein._ ”

\--

That weekend, Eren tells me to come over. I’m not particularly looking forward to being in that building again. And I can’t imagine I’ll particularly enjoy his apartment, which must be covered in dog hair. His shop is pretty spotless, but it has to be. His apartment doesn’t and he lives with a massive dog. Needless to say, I’m a bit concerned.

Regardless, I make the walk to the building. The air is a bit cooler today, a little preview to the fall season that is creeping up on our city. The sky threatens rain, too, but I pay it no mind for now.

Since I haven’t actually been to Eren’s apartment before, he meets me in the lobby. He’s wearing the grungiest clothes I’ve seen yet, a faded t-shirt and basketball shorts that look like they may have been from when he was in high school. “You look like you’re about to paint something.”

He looks down at himself, “Ah, not exactly. Come on, I’m on the fourth floor.” He grabs my hand, and drags my into the elevator. I’ve gotten quite used to this treatment, as he seems to operate pretty much exclusively in this excited puppy-dog-trying-to-show-you-something kind of way.

The first thing I notice is the smell. It smells strongly of lemon-scented cleaner and a touch of… vanilla? Like there’s a candle lit or something. It occurs to me that Eren probably spent all morning cleaning the place. Ever since Mikasa asked, I’ve been thinking pretty hard about how exactly I feel about Eren, and this gives me pause. It’s pretty obvious how he feels about me if he’s willing to go through all of this just so I’ll come over. And the fact that he thought about it gives me this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me think that maybe I care a bit more about him than I thought.

Eren wrinkles his nose, “Sorry, it still smells like cleaner.”

We step further into the apartment. It’s similar to Armin and Mikasa’s, but only one story. The living area is smaller and opens to the left of the entry hall. The kitchenette is in the same location as in the other apartment, but mirrored. On the left wall is a hall which I assume leads back to the bedroom and bathroom.

The whole place is sparklingly clean. “You did all this for me?”

He cocks his head in confusion, “Well, yeah. Of course.”

I shake my head and murmur, “Constantly surprising me.”

Eren stares at me a moment before shrugging, “Anyway, that’s not the reason I asked you to come over.”

I raise an eyebrow in question, but he doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he pulls me down the hall, confirming my earlier suspicions of where the bedroom and bathroom are, and holds open the door to the latter.

In the small room, I’m greeted by a big, black face staring at me from inside the tub. Regen’s stub of a tail knocks against the floor of the tub loudly. His eyes flit between me and Eren, who is standing just behind me.

“What the fuck?” Not particularly eloquent, but it works.

“Regen is getting a bath!” The dog is question wiggles a bit and brings a paw up to the wall of the tub. “ _Nein_ , Regen, _bleib._ ”

“And I’m here, why?”

He maneuvers out from behind me in order to sit on the toilet next to the tub. “Well, I figured you’d want to supervise, make sure he’s sparkling to your satisfaction.”

I’m completely and utterly dumbfounded. I say the only thing that manages to make it through my brain, “I don’t know how to give a dog a bath.”

“You don’t have to! I’ll do it, just keep me company and that way you’ll know I did a good job.”

I stare at him for a long time. I really don’t understand this kid. He invited me over to wash his dog. Who does that? Apparently Eren fucking Jaeger does that, and it makes my chest feel tight in an oddly pleasant way. Finally, I step more into the room and lean against the vanity. “Alright.”

He flashes a big grin and turns moves to sit on the edge of the tub, motioning for me to take the seat he had relinquished. I do, albeit tentatively. I’m not sure the perch is particularly safe from splashes from a wet dog.

Eren turns the faucet, adjusting it until he feels it’s an appropriate temperature. He pulls the curtain halfway then switches it to come out of the shower head. Regen stands and tries to move, but finds he’s too big and decides he may as well just sit back down. I imagine it probably feels like rain to him. “So I know you don’t have any pets, have you ever had pets? Like growing up or anything?”

He switches the water back to the faucet and picks up a big bottle with a picture of a dog on it. Probably dog shampoo or something. “I had a ball python through middle and high school. And some fish, but those were really my parents’.” Now he has started massaging the shampoo into Regen’s short fur, raising a dense lather. He goes slow and careful, starting at his head, right behind his ears, and working his way down.

“I’ve only ever had Regen, and only for the last two years. What’s having a snake like?”

“They’re easy. They don’t require a ton of attention, they’re clean and fairly compact. The pinkies are kind of gross, though.”

“Pinkies? Regen, _Steh._ ” Regen stands up in the tub, giving Eren access to his underside, where he now starts massaging his fingers.

“They’re the little baby mice you feed snakes.”

“Ew, you have to give a snake baby mice to eat? Poor mice.”

I chuckle, “Of course you’d be worried about the mice. I got them frozen, so they were dead already.”

“That doesn’t make it any better,” he pouts.

“Circle of life, brat. You missed a spot.” I point to a section of Regen’s back leg that he failed to work up to an appropriate lather.

“Mmm, thanks.” We’re quiet after that, with only the sound of the running faucet and Regen’s panting to fill the small space. Eventually he shakes his arms out and runs them under the faucet to wash away the shampoo. Then he switches the water back to the shower head and runs his hands over Regen’s coat, helping to remove the soap. “Does it look like I got it all?”

“From what I can tell.”

“Then I suggest you go wait elsewhere, unless you want to be around when he shakes.” I send him a death glare, indicating that is the _last_ thing I want. Without any more prompting, I vacate the little room and venture out into the living room.

While I wait for Eren to finish up I examine the room a bit more. It’s obvious that Eren holds a lot of value in his friends and family, his walls are plastered with photos of them. Most of them are essentially the same picture of him, Armin, and Mikasa, all holding on to each other at various stages of their lives. There’s one with all three of them looking pretty young, probably around twelve. Another with them sitting together at a booth in some fast food place looking about high school aged. The next has them in red graduation gowns, all holding up high school diplomas. The second to last of these is another graduation, this time in black gowns, presumably from their college graduation. This is the first one where any of them have any tattoos, and the earlier pictures look kind of strange with all of them having such unmarked skin. The final picture is the three of them, plus Regen, standing in front of Dancing Titan Tattoos. I can just see the edge of my shop off to the left, but most of it is out of frame. This must have been taken right after he moved into the shop.

All of the other pictures on the wall contain some combination of him, Mikasa, Armin, and Eren’s parents and occasionally some other people I didn’t recognise. There was one shot of him and Ymir behind the counter at Dancing Titan and one of him tattooing someone with a woman with short dark hair sitting near and watching him work closely. My favorite of all of them is the one hanging right above the television. It depicts Eren’s mother holding a basket full of laundry and going to take down the next sheet on the line, except Eren is there under the sheet looking about nine or ten. He’s got his pointer fingers stretching his lips into a wide, manic grin and Eren’s mother is laughing. There is so much joy in that picture and it makes me smile. It’s beautiful.

“She always said she hated when I did that, but I thought it was pretty clear she thought I was funny.” Eren’s voice is very close behind me and before I know it, he’s wrapping his arms around my waist and embracing me from behind.

“So you’ve always been a brat.”

I feel him rest his chin on top of my head, damn tall ass brat. “Guess so.”

Suddenly, there’s a pressure against my leg and I glance down. Apparently, Regen has decided that since he’s clean he’s allowed to lean against me for attention. Well, he’s not wrong I suppose. I reach down and rest my hand on his head, scratching a bit at the spot above his ears. He leans into my touch. Warm air blows past my ear, “He likes you.”

“He’s one of few.”

“Mmm, I like you.”

I twist a bit in his grip and try to look back at him, “Well I would fucking hope so, or this would be pretty awkward.”

One of his hands travels down my stomach and his fingers sneak under the hem of my shirt, “Indeed.”

“I sure hope you intend to move this to the bedroom because I am not fucking in front of the dog.” He chuckles lowly in my ear and his fingers move upward, tickling the line of hair under my navel. When his fingers start dipping lower, I grab his hand and pull it away. “Bedroom. Now.”

For the first time today, I lead the charge, dragging Eren along behind me as he giggles, fucking _giggles_. I push open the door to the bedroom and he barely manages to get it shut behind us before I’ve got him pressed up against it. I push my hands up the front of him and bring his shirt up with them and shove it off over his head. It still baffles me that the canvas of his skin feels no different from unmarked skin. The ink covering his body is not raised and there are no scars.

My fingers follow the path of the branches of a tree growing out from a trunk on his right hip and spreading across his chest. He makes a sound that vibrates through his chest and he hooks his thumbs in the belt loops of my jeans. When he pulls me into him and I feel his hardness, I practically growl.

Eren reaches down and grips the back of my thighs, right under my ass. He bends his knees a bit and lifts. With considerable effort and some help on my part, he manages to lift me and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me toward the bed, “I always forget how deceptively heavy you are.”

“Quit your bitching and fuck me already,” I hiss through gritted teeth.

He grins, “Yes, sir.” Then he dumps me unceremoniously on the bed and crawls over me, finally pressing our lips together. I reach up to thread my fingers through his hair. His soft moan makes me smile into the kiss and he bites my at my lower lip in retaliation, sucking it between his teeth and pulling at it. I gasp and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

Then he grinds down into me.

“Fuck, Eren.”

He grins, “I thought I was going to fuck you.” He giggles at his own joke and I scowl.

Then my mind goes essentially blank when he bites down on the sensitive spot under my ear. His fingers work at the buttons of my shirt and eventually he pushes it open. The pads of his fingers ghost across my skin and I arch my back up to him, longing for his touch. He moves his hands from my skin and down to the catch of my jeans. His mouth follows and kisses down my collar bones. He pulls my jeans and boxers down together in one movement before sitting back between my thighs.

I sit up and reach down to push down his shorts and underwear. He takes over and kicks them off over the edge of the bed. Then he kneels between my legs, accentuating his height advantage. His hand tilts my head up and he captures me in a passionate kiss. The hand not holding my head drifts down to grip my cock. He gives a few languid strokes which elicit a soft moan from my throat.

All of a sudden he stops and backs away. He pushes me down then moves off to the side so he can roll me onto my stomach. I prop myself up on my forearms so I can kiss him when he leans over me. He hands run all over my back and sides, leaving nothing untouched.

“God, you’re so perfect.” I can feel heat rising in my cheeks and I’m glad our position keeps Eren from being able to see it.

His erection is pressed up against the cleft of my ass while he leans over me and his hands roam over my back. At some point, he starts following his hands with kisses. They’re soft and sweet and leave my skin burning and tingling. When my whole upper back and shoulders are alight with flame, he scoots back and moves lower.

I don’t even realise what he’s doing until I feel the wetness of his tongue circling my entrance. “Ere—” A loud moan rips from my throat, cutting off any complaints I may have at one time thought of voicing when he stiffens his tongue and presses it into me. The feeling is outrageously foreign and admittedly fantastically wonderful. His tongue curls inside me then he pulls it back a bit before thrusting it forward again. I squirm, pushing back into him, wanton moans spilling from my lips. Normally I’d be indignant at the smirk I can feel on Eren’s lips, but he’s moving his tongue and I just can’t find it in myself to care.

Then he adds a finger.

My mouth falls open in unabashed pleasure and my arms give out so I push my face into the pillow in front of me while lifting my hips. Eren’s finger twists then curls, but falls just short of the bundle of nerves I want it so desperately to hit. He pulls back, removing his tongue and nearly removing the finger as well. He adds a second finger and pushes back in. While he scissors his fingers and works at stretching me open, he leans forward and reaches into his bedside table for lube and condoms. He spreads a little of the lube at my entrance before adding a third finger.

I push back, “I’m not gonna break, hurry up.”

“Hmm, impatient.” He pulls his fingers from me and I hear him rip open a condom.

I lift myself back up on my forearms and turn my head a bit, “Yes, it just so happ- nngh.” I’m cut off my a slight burn and a very full feeling. Eren pushes himself into me agonisingly slowly.

He leans down over me and whispers into my ear, “What was that? I didn’t catch it.” He kisses down my jaw and I turn my head to meet him. He bottoms out as our lips meet.

He spends a long time running his hands up and down my body and trying to map every crevice of my mouth. I grind back into him, signalling my impatience with his slow tactics. Finally, without disconnecting from me, he pulls his hips back fractionally and then snaps forward in a quick movement. He continues like this, slowly pulling out just a bit then snapping forward again quick and hard.

His hips shift ever so slightly and the next time he pushes forward leaves me keening and gasping. He smirks against my jaw, where he is paying attention with his lips then maintains the new angle. Every thrust sends pulses of pleasure up and down my spine. His hands grip my hips and he picks up his pace and force, pulling out farther for more leverage.

“L-Levi,” he gasps and my cock twitches at the sound. I’m painfully hard and his onslaught against my prostate is building heat deep in my abdomen. “Feels so good. You’re so good, Levi.” He continues to chant praise like a mantra while his rhythm became erratic and stuttered.

“Eren…” I can’t manage to form any more intelligible words, but it seems he understands my meaning. One of his hands slips down to my dripping dick. He strokes in time with his thrusts and I’m on the edge. Then all at once my vision whites and my mouth opens to let forth a shout of pleasure as I empty on the bed beneath me. Eren’s pace picks up, continuing to hit my oversensitive prostate with every thrust. Then, with one final push, his body convulses with his finish.

He slumps a moment before pulling out slowly. He moves around, presumably to discard the condom. I lay on the bed until I can’t stand the feeling of drying semen on my abdomen. I swing my legs over and start pulling the top sheet from the bed. Eren looks at me oddly, but shakes his head and climbs back into bed while I put the sheet in his laundry basket and use tissues to wipe myself clean.

Finally, I join Eren back in the bed. “What the fuck was that?”

He grins, “Sounded like you didn’t mind too much.”

I scowl, but lean into him and twine our fingers together when he puts his arm around me. “It was fucking mind blowing. You’re too good.”

I just barely catch his blush out of the corner of my eye. “I-it was n-nothing.”

“Nothing doesn’t halt higher thought processes. We’ll be doing that again.”

I can hear the smile in his voice, “My pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi made Eren brush his teeth before he'd kiss him again.


	5. Yellow Primrose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A primrose in the evening symbolizes inconstancy, while other times it means 'I can't live without you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm really kind of nervous about this whole chapter. So I hope you guys like it. Also, apologies again for my shitty Google translate German, the first phrase still didn't come out quite like I wanted. And, not that it matters much, but the movie they're watching in the first scene is Village of the Damned. So, enjoy more smut and cute boys being cute.
> 
> As always, thank you to [Renee](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com) who I love dearly and told me this smut was at least readable.
> 
> I have a [tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com).
> 
> EDIT: Now with corrected German thanks to Chiisaihoshi.

Relationships are fucking weird. Especially with Eren. I’ve never been much for romance and all that shit. I’ve never really been much for sex, but hot people do occasionally make me want to find a private place and fuck them into a mattress. And Eren certainly qualifies as a hot person. Sexual attraction has never been an issue between us. Even romantic attraction developed for me eventually. It just took a while for me to recognise that I actually cared about the brat in an affectionate way.

But there are still a lot of parts of being in a relationship I was completely unprepared for.

One of those things, which I have mixed feelings about, is waking up next to someone. Eren and I spend a lot of nights together and generally it is far too cumbersome for the other to leave at night. Most of the time, I’m fine with this, doesn’t bother me to have someone else in bed with me, especially when that someone is Eren. It did teach me that while I tend to be an early riser, Eren is absolutely not. If I let him, he’d stay in bed until eleven or later. I don’t let him, and he’s learning quickly that if he stays in bed too long, he won’t like how I choose to wake him up.

But relationships are multifaceted. Where there is give, there is also pull. I had to learn some things, too.

“Levi?” Eren prompts one evening while we’re laying on the couch together in his apartment watching some shitty TV movie. I’ve got myself curled up in the corner and Eren is laying with his head in my lap. His arm is hanging off the couch and resting on Regen’s back. As much as I’ve come to love the lunk of fur (as long as he’s clean), I draw the line at letting him try to cram his bulk on the small couch with us. He’s tried before. It didn’t work.

“Hmm?” I look down at him and find he’s turned his head so he can look up at me.

“You know how we have sex?”

I quirk my eyebrows, “Are you asking for logistics or that I’m aware that it’s a thing that tends to happen?” I smirk, amused by my own stupid joke.

He sticks his tongue out at me and I lean down to catch it between my teeth gently. When I release him, he sticks his tongue out again for only a moment before frowning. “But seriously.”

“Yes, Eren, I’m familiar with the concept.”

“Well…” He trails off, clearly thinking hard. His cheeks look a bit warmer and he’s examining my shirt buttons a little too closely. “Have you ever thought of trying anything different?”

One of my hands starts absently stroking at his hair. It’s unnaturally soft. “Different how?”

“Like… Um… I don’t know. Uh, ho-” He’s getting tongue-tied and flustered and I am enjoying every second of it. But he is trying to say something, and I still don’t know what it is.

“Breathe. I’m not going to judge you.”

He gets quiet, his face contorted into intense concentration. “Do you have any fantasies?”

Well that is not what I was expecting. “Not really. Never put much thought into it. Sex has always just kind of been a means to an end for me.”

His frown deepens, “That’s not very fun. You’re supposed to enjoy it.”

I look down at him again and this time he meets my eyes. “I never said I don’t enjoy it.”

“Hmmm,” his gaze flicks away again, back to the television. I assume that he’s finished his weird line of questions, so I try to get back into the story on the television as well. There’s a bunch of creepy kids and I’m really not sure what’s going on but it looks like people are dying. Why are we watching this?

“Would you ever consider trying something… kinkier?” His last word is so quiet I almost don’t catch it. When I look down, he’s still staring toward the television, but his eyes are far away. He’s probably been thinking about it this whole time.

“I guess I don’t really have any particular objections.”

He turns his head quickly and looks up to me in surprise, “Really?”

I narrow my eyes in suspicion. There is clearly a reason behind this topic of conversation. So far we’ve been pretty vanilla as far as sex goes and I haven’t had a problem with that at all, and as far as I knew, neither did he. But maybe he’s been holding this back? “Are you unhappy with our sex life?”

The way his eyes got huge made him look concerned and a little hurt, “No! No. I just…” He trails off.

I push him up so he’s sitting up next to me and I turn to face him, “Eren.”

“I just-this is the most, I don’t know, boring sounds too harsh…”

“Vanilla. That’s the word you’re looking for.”

“Yes! Anyway, I guess before this,” he gestures between us, “I was used to more exotic stuff.”

“Okay.”

His forehead creases when his brow draws together, “Okay?”

“Okay. What did you have in mind?”

“Levi, you don’t-if you don’t want-”

I cut him off, “Do you really think I’d be entertaining this rather painful conversation if I wasn’t willing? Unless you’ve got a thing for feet, which is disgusting, then I think I’ve probably heard worse from Hanji. Spit it out.”

He wrinkles his nose at the mention of feet. “No, not feet. I like a lot of things, but, um, I really like, uh, leather. And blindfolds.”

It takes a lot of self control for me to keep a neutral expression. I don’t want him to think I’m making fun of him or anything. I let his suggestions sink in for a minute. They aren’t even particularly weird or anything. I’m not really sure what he was so concerned about. But then I remember that he has not the greatest of relationship histories and he’s probably pretty insecure about his own opinions in the bedroom. I lean forward and press a chaste kiss to his lips. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

I laugh at his repetition. “Yeah, now lay back down and explain this goddamn movie to me.” I resume my earlier position and pat my lap. Eren stares at me contemplatively and I direct my attention back to the screen to let him have his moment. Eventually he lays back down and I run my fingers through his hair. If I hadn’t looked down, I would have missed the small, content smile he wears.

\--

The knock on the door makes me snap my head up toward it. I smile and return to tying up the last of the lace on my boot. Finished, I move to the door.

“What was it that you we’re s—” The abruptness with which Eren cuts off his sentence puts a huge satisfied smirk on my face. Eren’s eyes rake up and down my body several times and his jaw drops.

Yesterday, I had gone out shopping. The spoils of that trip were the tight leather pants, calf-high leather boots, and open studded leather vest I am currently wearing, among other things. Noticing Eren’s mouth is still hanging open, I put my index finger under his chin to help him out.

“Fuck.”

“Well, that is the idea, but you have to come in first. Unless you want to do it on the stairs?”

He continues staring and lets his eyes wander over my body again before shaking his head. I take the opportunity to take him in and notice a bit of a bulge already straining at his pants. He’s still standing there without moving. My arm comes up and his eyes follow the movement. I curl my finger, beckoning him into the apartment.

Finally, he seems to remember how to move again. He follows my retreating form into the apartment.

“I went shopping,” I inform him as we make our way through the living room and to the end of the hall where the bedroom is. I think I heard him trip over something on the way. Stupid brat isn’t paying attention to where he’s going.

“Uh, yeah? I kinda gathered that.” When we finally make it to the door, I hold it open for him. He stops short and I hear him draw a short breath. “Levi?”

“Yes, Eren?”

“What exactly is it that you bought when you went shopping?”

I smirk, leaning against the doorframe behind him, “Why don’t you go take a look.” On the bed, I had laid out each of my purchases. I had started out going to look for some leather pants. While I found those, I also found much more. I bought the entire outfit I’m wearing now, as well as a few silk blindfolds, a pair of leather cuffs, a crop, an anal plug, and a couple cock rings. So he had said leather and blindfolds, I got a little carried away.

Eren walks mechanically to the bed, almost as if the items there would disappear if he made any sudden movements. I stay back and let him decide what happens next. Watching the way he slowly appraises each item, reaching out to touch occasionally, is more than enough of a treat for me. When he makes it down the line, he turns around to face me. “I- I don’t know what to say.”

I take one last appraising look before I close the distance between us and snake my arms around his neck. His hands come up reflexively to rest on my hips. “You don’t have to say anything. I want this to be your night. But, if you don’t mind, let’s start slow. I’ve never done anything like this.”

The way his face gets all serious and determined is almost amusing. But the excitement that sparkles in his eyes is simply beautiful. He glances back toward the bed, “Can I…?”

I step back and let him approach the bed again. This time, though, I stay close behind him, keeping contact between us. I rub small circles with my thumb into his back while he looks over everything again. He leans forward and caresses the slippery silk of one of the blindfolds. His head turns back over his shoulder in silent question. My nod grants acquiescence and he picks one up. He turns and moves us so I’m backed up to the bed. He runs his free hand through my hair slowly, taking his time, before he presses a sweet kiss to my lips, then along my jaw, and finally he takes the lobe of my ear between his teeth. I hum contentedly and my eyes slide shut.

The silk is cool against my skin when he brings it up to me. When I open my eyes, I feel my eyelashes brush against the fabric. “Does that feel alright?” Eren’s voice is right in my ear and it sends shivers down my spine and warmth to my dick. I swallow hard and nod before shifting in anticipation. “Good.” I hear him step back and his voice comes from farther away this time, “God, you’re beautiful.”

I smile, “Under normal circumstances, I could say the same to you.”

“I seem to recall you saying something along the lines of choosing hearing over sight, _hayatım_.” He _purrs_ the last word. I have no idea what it means, but that doesn’t make me react any less. Up to this point, I’d been more or less controlled, but now all bets are off and my pants are considerably tighter than they had been a few moments ago.

His fingers walk from my knee up my thigh agonisingly slowly. When they make it up to the joint of my hip, he pauses and hums thoughtfully. I wish I could see him right now. I can only imagine the expression he has right now. Suddenly, his hands spread out on my thigh and runs back down to my knees where he pushes them apart.

I can feel him settle between my legs before he leans up to whisper in my ear, “ _Soll ich mich darum kümmern?_ ” He presses his hand to my crotch. I don’t even recognise the desperate sound that escapes my throat. A deep chuckle fills the room as his fingers work and the zipper of the pants, peeling the fabric away slowly, torturously.

My lack of underwear allows my cock to spring free after he pulls my pants down a bit. His fingers ghost over the length and I hiss, “Eren…”

“Yes?” His whole persona changes drastically in the bedroom. He loses his people pleaser attitude, he knows he can please. He doesn’t need to seek affirmation he’s doing a good job, he already knows he is and I’m sure he gets plenty of reassurance from all the sounds that tend to come out of me. His uncertainty vanishes as the lust darkens his eyes. He should have been a stripper. He’d have done well.

A sudden lack of touch brings me out of my reverie. I face where I assume his face is and a choked whine makes its way out of my lips. A finger caresses my jawline, “The anticipation is where all the fun is.”

I open my mouth to say something in response, but only a moan pours out because Eren’s mouth is on me, taking me in. My hands reach forward to search for Eren. One of my hands finds his shoulder and I squeeze for purchase. I don’t have all that much experience with the intricacies of giving or receiving a blowjob, but Eren clearly does. And he’s doing that thing he does with his tongue that drives me crazy. My grip on his shoulder tightens and I have to imagine it’s probably pretty painful, but he hasn’t complained.

There’s heat coiling deep in my gut and I can feel the pressure building. I’ve long since given up trying to be modest about the noises I make, and Eren seems to enjoy them, smiling around my cock at my keening moans. One particularly lewd moan of his name and an arch of my back warns him of how close I am. He pulls away with a wet pop, growling, “ _Noch nicht, ich bin noch nicht fertig._ ” It takes everything I have not to come right there.

A hand on my chest pushes me back to lay on the bed and then he’s gone. I hear very little, but I think he’s taking off his clothes. I growl disapprovingly while I scoot back so I’m laying fully on the bed. Then I hear the drawer of my nightstand open. A few moments later and the bed dips and I feel Eren pull at my boots, taking his time at unlacing them. He throws them aside and pulls at the pants that are shoved halfway down my ass already. I arch in order to assist him in getting rid of them. Then he crawls over me and I can feel heat radiating off of his body. He makes his way slowly, leaving a trail of kisses the whole way. Every kiss ignites fire on my skin until the next one is laid.

He stops at my neck and his kisses turn to nips and sucks. That’ll leave marks and I am more than alright with that. My hands come to run up his sides blindly while he works, just feeling him. Finally, his lips find mine and a hand pushes the soft silk away from my face. When he pulls away I open my eyes and am greeted with his dark, blown out pupils staring at me from under half closed lids. My cock twitches.

“Thank you.”

I bring a hand up to brush a stray strand of dark hair from his face. “There’s no need to thank me. I want you to be comfortable telling me when you want something. Or when you don’t want something.” He stares down at me long enough that I can feel myself flagging, so I run my free hand down his spine and then then pull him into me, grinding us together. His breath catches. I pull his head down and kiss the point where his jaw meets his neck then whisper lowly in his ear, “I am going to fuck you. When you come, you’ll see stars. I want you to forget how to speak unless it’s to say my name.”

“Levi…”

I chuckle darkly, “Good start. Payback for the German. Where’d you put the lube?”

He reaches up over my head and hands me the small bottle. I flick the cap open and spread a generous amount on my fingers, rubbing them together to warm it up. Then I bring my fingers down to tease at his entrance. He bites at his lower lip and whines before pushing back into me. I push one finger into him. He’s tight and hot and his head drops into the crook of my neck as I push in deeper.

As much as I love teasing him and making him squirm while I take my time, I’m feeling particularly impatient today. I make quick work of opening him, only brushing against his prostate once. When I do, he bucks back and cries out my name and I smirk. Satisfied, I pull my fingers from him. He pats around on the bed behind my head again and sits up on my thighs, condom in hand. He makes quick work of it, tearing the little package open and rolling it on me. I give myself a few quick strokes to spread the remaining lube from my fingers on myself and add a bit more.

Ready, I put my hands on his hips and direct him over me. He sits down slowly, taking me in inch by inch and the feeling is intoxicating. It’s always difficult for me to decide whether to throw my head back in pleasure or watch him as his face contorts in ecstasy as I fill him to the brim. Watching him nearly always wins out. His lips are parted slightly and his head is thrown back with his eyes closed. “Gorgeous.”

He looks down as he sits down completely. My thumbs rub circles in his hips while I wait for him to adjust and he leans forward to run his hands up my abs and chest before coming down for a messy kiss. Then he grinds into me and then lifts up and rocks himself back down. He establishes a slow, steady rhythm. I entertain him for a bit, letting him dictate the pace.

After a particularly hard grind down on me, I tighten my grip on his hips and flip us. He squeaks in surprise, but lets me manhandle him. I pull out of him briefly to adjust his legs, bending them back and folding him nearly in half. I realign myself and thrust forward. Hard. 

“Le-Levi.” His voice is broken and breathless. I pull back slowly until I’m nearly completely out. I pause and when he starts to squirm and whine for me, I rock forward with the same force as before. The way his eyes roll back and his moan echoes around the room fuels me. I start a grueling pace. After a few experimental thrusts, I manage to find the perfect angle to hit his prostate with every movement.

It doesn’t take much before Eren is whimpering a mantra of my name. I echo him with a mantra of my own, making sure he knows exactly how good he feels. When the tightness in my gut builds again, I reach down to stroke his weeping cock in time with my thrusts. He screams my name one last time before he comes with a gasp. I follow quickly after, lost in the pleasure of it. My thrusts slow, riding us through our orgasms, before I come to a stop. I pull out and take off the condom and tie it off to toss it into the bin. I take a couple tissues from the box on my nightstand to clean Eren’s body with before I finally collapse next to him.

He curls up into me, “Wow.”

I wrap my arms around him and pull him close. One of my hands finds his hair and I stroke it absently. Tired and mostly out of words, I simply hum my response.

He cocks his head back to look at me. “So… Next time…”

I laugh and place a light kiss on his cheek. “Let’s worry about next time later. We can do whatever you want. Right now, I just want to sleep.”

He burrows his face into my chest, “Yeah.”

When we wake up, we test out the rest of the things I bought.

\--

“Leeeeviii!”

It used to be that Hanji was the only one who would drag my name out like that. This is clearly no longer the case. “I’m working.”

Eren comes up to the counter and leans over it, watching me arrange a bouquet for a customer. “But Christa is going to be in soon and I don’t have any clients till tonight.”

I raise an eyebrow but keep my focus on the bouquet, “You’re keeping track of Christa’s schedule now, too?”

He shuffles a little closer, “Kinda hard not to when I work with Ymir.”

“Fair point.”

I keep working. He watches me loudly, but I’ve gotten pretty used to it and block him out fairly easily.

A few minutes later he starts talking again, “Let’s go do something.”

“I’m working.”

He shuffles closer again, “When Christa gets here. We haven’t gone out in ages.”

The orchids in this bouquet are giving me a particularly hard time. I move one to a new position in the arrangement, “We went to Rosie’s last week.”

“That was last week! Plus, I want to go on a real date.”

The corner of my lip twitches upward, “Tell me, Eren, what exactly qualifies a real date as opposed to a fake one.”

He growls in frustration, “That’s not what I meant and you know it. C’mon, let’s go have a picnic or something.”

Ah, perfect. I lean back from my arrangement and admire how the flowers compliment one another. Finally, I turn around and face Eren. “A picnic?”

He looks down, suddenly bashful, “Yeah… Or something. It doesn’t have to be a picnic.”

“I’m going to shower first.”

His head snaps up, “Wait, what?”

“I’m covered in potting soil and plant juices. It’s gross. I’m going to shower.”

“You’re agreeing? We’re going on a picnic?”

I wipe my hands off on a towel, “After Christa gets here and I take a shower, sure.” I shrug. He’s always surprised when I agree to do things.

“Awesome!” He practically jumps up and down with excitement.

“You’re a little shit.”

He grins, “It’s part of my charm.”

“Tch.” As if on cue, Christa comes through the door then. “Afternoon, Levi! Oh, hi, Eren.”

“Hi, Christa.”

“I’m leaving, you can handle the shop for the evening, right?” I ask. I don’t do pleasantries well. By now, I’m sure she’s used to it.

“No problem! Going out?”

“Apparently.” I take a few minutes to wipe down the table I had been putting together the arrangement on. When I’m satisfied with the cleanliness, I explain to Christa the customer the arrangement is for and that they’d be around by three to pick it up.

“I’ve got it, Levi. Go, and have fun!”

I run through my list of things I had to do today one more time, and since I can’t recall anything I’m missing, I finally head to the back. Eren follows me all the way into my apartment. While I look for something more suitable to wear in the cool early fall air, I ask, “Do you want tea or something?”

“Nah. You know, I could just come in there with you.”

“If you do that, we’ll never leave. You’re the one that wants to go out.”

He frowns, “If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to.”

My glare halts anymore of his uncertainties. “Make yourself useful and make sandwiches or something for us to eat. Should have some lunch meat in the fridge.” With that, I leave him to get in the shower.

When I come out, Eren is in the kitchen wiping up the counters. I lean against the wall at the entrance to the hallway and watch him with a gentle smile on my face. It still surprises me that he puts so much effort into satisfying my neuroses.

“Ready?” He almost jumps out of his skin when I speak and whirls around, just barely keeping hold of the rag.

“Jesus, make more noise or something.” I shrug. He returns to cleaning.

“Well, are you?”

“Just… Yeah, just finished.” He drapes the rag over the faucet and turns to me, brandishing a few ziplock bags with sandwiches. “Have you ever been to Sina Gardens?”

I shake my head while we leave the apartment and I lock it behind us.

He smiles, “I think you’ll like it. It’s not too far, toward the outside of the city.”

It takes us twenty minutes to get to the gardens, which isn’t the greatest name for the place. It’s more like a park with some odd clumps of different kinds of flowers, each with a plaque in front of them. A lot of the flowers aren’t in bloom, as it’s late for summer flowers and early yet for some fall flowers. But a few areas have some blossoms. We walk hand in hand around the edge of the park for a bit. Every time we pass a flower, Eren points to it and asks about it.

“What’s this one?”

I glance at the patch of blue and pink flowers growing up in columns. “Larkspur.”

“Hmm, it’s pretty. What does it mean?”

“Fickleness.”

He furrows his brow, “What does that mean?”

“The trilingual needs a translation for a translation,” I say dryly, “It’s a trait indicating someone is willing to change, usually regarding loyalty or ideals or something.”

“Like a politician?”

I chuckle softly, “I guess that’s a good example. I’ve got some in the shop, want to send one to the president?”

He bumps his shoulder into me playfully, making me smile. A few moments later, a cluster of blue-purple flowers catches my attention. “Eren, look.” I point to the flowers.

His eyes follow my finger to the low-lying plant. “Those are pretty.”

He’s clearly not as excited as I am. “It’s aster. I’ve been trying to get ahold of some all summer for the shop, but no one seems to have it.” I move toward the bush to examine it and somewhere along the line our hands part. I lose myself in the intricacies of the petals. At some point I start counting petals. They look sort of like dyed daisies with tons of petals, so I lose count several times.

Eventually, I look back over my shoulder. Eren is sitting a little distance away on a bench along the path. He’s got a small notepad open and his right hand is making small, quick movements along the page with his pencil. He looks up briefly and catches my eye and smiles, before returning to his drawing. I approach him slowly and sit down next to him. I peer over to his notepad, but he angles it out of my sight before I can see anything.

“What’re you drawing?”

“Just… Let me... “ He sticks his tongue out a little in concentration, “There. Here.” He shoves the notepad into my lap.

I’m taken aback by the small sketch. I’ve grown very accustomed to Eren pulling out any odd sheet of paper and a pencil from his pocket when he gets bored or antsy. Usually he sketches some tribal pattern or an idea for a tattoo for himself. If he has a client’s request on his mind, he’ll work on that. Today, he’s chosen to draw from life. His sweeping lines come together and reveal my form standing on the path around the park. There’s a subtle smile on my face, which I find interesting. I thought I had been grinning like an idiot looking at those flowers, but apparently I have little concept of what my expressions look like to others. The pencil copy of me is staring at the flowers in front of me, with extreme detail attributed to each flower. I can see every individual petal. I know I lost track of time looking at the aster, but I also know I couldn’t have been standing there all that long. The fact that he managed to get so much incredible detail astounds me. “Eren, this is incredible.”

He flushes slightly, “I had a good subject.”

“Somehow, I don’t think it would’ve have mattered. You really have a gift. You should draw like this more.”

“Move in with me.”

“What?” I tear my eyes away from the notepad in my hands to stare at him, yet again surprised.

He stares back at me and repeats, “Move in with me.”

I give him a long, measured look. “I’m not moving into your shithole place. That building makes me feel like I’ll catch a disease just from proximity.”

His eyes fill with hurt. When he finds his voice, it’s soft, “Okay. That’s fine.” He looks down at his hands. It occurs to me that he thinks I said no because I don’t want to live with him.

“Eren, look at me.” He slowly raises his gaze back up to mine. His eyes are large and wet. He looks on the verge of tears and it rips my soul apart. “You’re a goddamn idiot. I said I wouldn’t move into your place. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to live with you.” Ever so slowly, I watch the hope fill his eyes again and I smile, “My place is closer to your shop anyway.”

“You want me to come live with you?”

“Well, you asked me but I can’t bring myself to live in that building, so yes.” Suddenly his arms are around me and his lips are pressed to mine. Both of us smile into the kiss.

I pull away after a moment, “You still got those sandwiches? I’m starving.”

He hands me a ziplock bag with a sandwich, “You do realise I have to bring Regen, right?”

“I’ve become begrudgingly attached to the big lunk. Just clean up after him. And if he shits in the apartment I won’t sleep with you for a week.”

He sticks his tongue out at me, “You wouldn’t last.”

“Try me.” He’s silent a moment and I can tell that he’s thinking about it. He’s so stubborn and determined that he would actually try to prove me wrong. “Do you really want to try that? Think about it really hard.”

“I guess not. Anyway, Regen is house trained really well. You won’t have to worry.”

“Good. While I would make good on the threat, it’s definitely not something I want to do.”

He looks at me around a big bite of his sandwich, “You’ll need to learn his commands.”

“I’m sure I can manage a few German words.”

He grins then leans in to me and rests his head on my shoulder. “I’m so happy, _hayatım_.”

I smile a little at his name for me. He won’t tell me what it means, but I don’t really need to know when he says it like that. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first line of German was supposed to say something along the lines of "Would you like me to take care of this?" but it translates weird so.... Yeah.
> 
> Comments, kudos, etc. much appreciated. If you haven't noticed, I try to respond to every comment I get because I LOVE hearing from you guys about what you think about the story.
> 
> Also, before next week's update I'll be posting three oneshots for Secret Santas (two ereri and one JeanMarco) so if you're interested, look forward to that.


	6. Striped Carnation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Striped carnations have many meaning but they are all similar. They can be a refusal, simply mean no, or translate to Sorry I can't be with you or Wish I could be with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas yesterday if that's what you celebrate! If not, then Happy Birthday to Levi yesterday! My AO3 has been super active the last week with Secret Santa gifts and JEM Week Drabbles, but I'm still updating this just like always. Though, I'm sorry because this is a super short chapter (about half the length of most others). I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. BUT as part of the ereri Secret Santa, [Iristelle](http://iristelle.tumblr.com) drew my a [FUCKING AWESOME](http://iristelle.tumblr.com/post/105742661349/gift-for-playingchello-tattoo-eren-and) picture that goes with this story and gosh I'm so happy and they're so great and please go look at it.
> 
> As always, I must thank [Renee](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com) for everything. I even drew her a picture for Christmas if you want to see. It's in my art tag on tumblr.
> 
> And you can get to that tumblr [here](http://playingchello.tumblr.com).

It takes Eren nearly a month to move all of his shit into my apartment and sell what he doesn’t need to keep. He still essentially started living with me immediately, though. Regen didn’t come for two weeks, instead staying with Mikasa and Armin for that time.

Living with Eren comes with it’s fair share of perks. For one, I get to cook more. I never really found reason to cook when it was just me, but with another mouth to feed it feels like it isn’t quite so wasteful. I actually really enjoy cooking for someone, and Eren’s unending praise definitely helps.

Something that is sometimes a welcome distraction but more often than not slightly annoying is the fact that Eren has decided he finds my irritating reliance on glasses when I’m reading or at a computer attractive. Whenever I’m trying to do something on the computer and Eren finds me, he’ll come up behind me and whisper something in German or Turkish. He could be telling me the least sexy thing he could come up with and it would still turn me on. And he knows it.

But by far, one of my very favorite things about having Eren live with me is the morning sex.

Like this morning when I wake up slowly to the early morning sun coming in through the window. Eren’s arm is draped over me and something decidedly hard is pressing into my back.

“Hey, Eren. You awake?”

His arm tightens around me and he mumbles sleepily into my hair, “Mmm, yeah.”

I roll back toward him a little and look over my shoulder at him. His hair is hopelessly mussed, much more so than usual, and his eyes are closed and he’s got a dopey, sleepy smile on his face. “Want me to suck your dick?”

He freezes as realisation washes over him and he opens his eyes wide, then shrinks a bit sheepishly, “Um, yes, please.”

I smirk and finish turning over so I can face him. I capture his mouth in a lazy kiss and gently roll us so I’m laying on top of him. I start making my way slowly down his body, leaving soft kisses in my wake. When I finally make it down to the waistband of his boxers, I pull them down just enough to free his cock.

I’ve never really thought of dicks as being attractive features before, but Eren has a pretty dick. And I am always up for devouring it. I place my mouth over the tip and swirl my tongue around it. The soft sigh from Eren makes me grin a little before I sink down. I start off easy, building a slow, lazy rhythm and only take about half of him in. Eventually, his hands curl in my hair and urge me to pick up the pace. I pull off of him briefly to lick a stripe up and down the underside before sinking back down. This time, I relax my throat and take him in until my nose is buried in coarse hair.

Eren’s moan is absolutely delicious.

I swallow around him and hollow my cheeks as I pull back slowly. His fingers scratch at the short hairs of my undercut and I look up and meet his eyes. Then, I establish a new pace, much faster than before, all the while staring up at him with lust-filled eyes. It doesn’t take long before he’s pulling at my hair and offering a choked warning.

As opposed as I am to all things unclean, I don’t actually mind swallowing when Eren comes thick and bitter in my mouth. I can’t really say I like it, it’s bitter and leaves a poor aftertaste on my tongue, but I don’t mind it. And it keeps the mess contained. When I finally pull off of his rapidly softening dick, he smiles apologetically at me.

“You didn’t have to-”

“I know.”

He puts pressure on the back of my head, urging me to come up to join him. He kisses me quickly then pushes me to the side. “Your turn.”

It takes us another several hours to get out of bed.

\--

It’s a particularly slow day at the shop today. Fall does that, people think about buying flowers less. Some shops close during the colder months because there’s so little business. I don’t. I do alright with the people that come weekly or monthly for some anniversary or ritual that I’ve never needed to close.

My phone chimes and knocks me out of my thoughts.

**From: Eren Jaeger**   
_Turn down for_

I stare at the message for a solid two minutes, frowning down at it. This kid is so weird.

**To: Eren Jaeger**   
_What?_

The reply comes almost instantly

**From: Eren Jaeger**   
_Eyyyyy_

Before I can even fathom coming up with a response to the weird exchange, I am notified of an incoming Snapchat notification. I open the app begrudgingly. I’d only gotten it because Eren wanted me to. He sends me stupid pictures of himself when he’s bored in the shop. Or amusing ones of Ymir. Or short videos of something amusing.

This one is a video.

I can honestly say I am not prepared for what this could possibly be.

The short ten second video depicts Eren leaning over Jean grinning like fools. Then the speakers blare to life with some shitty rap song that sounds like it belongs in a seedy club. It takes me a second to realise the lyrics coincide with the text messages.

**To: Jean Kirschtein**   
_Tell Eren he should focus on his work rather than bothering me at mine._

It doesn’t take long before my phone chimes twice with incoming messages.

**From: Jean Kirschtein**   
_How the fuck did you get my number?_

**From: Eren Jaeger**   
_Hey! Using jean to send messages is cheating_

I smirk.

**To: Jean Kirschtein**   
_Take a wild guess. I’m sure even you can figure that one out._

I could practically see his scowl.

**To: Eren Jaeger**   
_Pay attention to your work and I might reward you._

I hope he blushes. I really hope Jean asks him about it.

Ten minutes later, the music is suddenly turned up next door. I jump at the sudden sound and irritatingly familiar rap lyrics pound through the wall.

“I’m going to kill him.”

\--

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Today had been particularly stressful in the shop today. It was busy, frantic, and most of my customers had been self-righteous assholes. I was looking forward to coming up to our bedroom and laying in bed with Eren (who had the day off today) and relaxing. But none of that was to be, because Eren is hunched over on the bed sketching something and there are dirty clothes and wads of discarded paper strewn about the room. I can see little flecks of eraser dotting the comforter near where he’s sitting.

I know Eren is a bit of a slob and clearly does not have my compulsion for cleanliness. And that’s alright. I don’t need him to change, and he makes an effort to keep his shit picked up and I appreciate that. But is it really so goddamn difficult to walk the five extra feet to the laundry basket to put your dirty clothes?

Eren’s head snaps up when he hears my exasperation. “What?” He sounds miffed about something. Usually I would care. Usually I would ask what’s on his mind. But I’m stressed and already wound tight.

“Is it really so hard to pick up your shitty clothes and put them in the fucking laundry basket?” I start stomping around the room, picking up fabric and throwing it over my arm. I don’t look back at Eren until I forcefully drop the pile into the laundry basket by the door. His eyes are narrowed dangerously and he looks ready to explode. I tip the tide, “You’ve gotten eraser all over the bed.”

“Jesus, Levi! Will it kill you to stop hounding me for five seconds?”

Maybe I’m looking for a fight. Maybe we’re overdue for it. Whatever it is, I fuel the flame, “Would it kill _you_ to pick up after yourself?”

I’ve heard tell from Mikasa, Armin, and even Ymir about Eren’s temper. I know he can get set off pretty easily. I’ve even seen it happen. But I have never _never_ seen it directed at me before. Until now. “I have more important shit to do than keep up the apartment to your ridiculous standards. What the fuck is wrong with a little mess anyway? It’s not a big deal.”

I know, deep down, that he doesn’t mean it the way I take it. I know he’s just trying to justify himself. But right now, it sounds like what he really wanted to say was what was wrong with me. And he knows, _he knows_ , that it _is_ a big deal for me. That I’m fucked up and I need order to be comfortable. He knows that. And it makes me so livid. My voice is dangerously low and quiet, “Fine. Do whatever you fucking want. I’m taking the dog out.”

I spin around and stalk out of the room. Regen is curled up on the couch in the living room, oblivious to the hostile tension in the apartment. I throw my coat back on, “Regen, _geh raus_.” He looks at me for a second before hopping off the couch and following me out the door.

What the fuck is Eren’s problem? He knew what he was signing up for. He knew what I was like. He still wanted to come live with me. And what would possess him to say something like that to me? I know he didn’t mean it, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It was uncalled for.

Though, what I had said was, too. I know I fucked up. I let the stress of the day get to me and rule my actions. It was almost like I wanted to fight, like I needed the adrenaline from the anger.

Honestly, I don’t even really care about Eren’s clothes. I was just pissed and that set me off. And my yelling set him off. It’s a dangerous thing, anger. It grows slowly so you don’t even notice it, building on the tiny little annoyances. It festers until the pressure becomes a powder keg so great that the littlest things makes it explode. One tiny pin drops and the force of the explosion makes you say things, do things, that you know you’ll regret.

And I do. I regret getting angry. I regret yelling. I know I overreacted. And I feel like shit for it. But there is still a roiling in my gut that hurts because Eren fed my monster. We fed each other and it culminated in a shouting match about the stupidest fucking thing.

How does he even put up with me? I’m such a shitty human being. I’m not nice and I tend to be abrasive. I rub people the wrong way. And now I’ve fucked up and gotten him angry with me. I’m so fucking stupid.

I need to go apologise.

I look down to my left. Regen is padding along patiently. I must’ve been walking for quite some time. I managed to make it all the way into the main drag of Trost. My hand reaches down slightly to scratch at Regen’s head. He’s so big, I don’t have to bend too far. “Let’s go home.”

It takes me about half an hour to figure out how to get back. In that time, I manage to make myself feel like absolute and total shit, but the time also lets me cool down some. The long walk helps alleviate some of my earlier compounded stress. Plus, it was nice to have Regen to keep me company.

When I open the door, the apartment smells like the same lemon cleaner Eren used when he lived alone. And the whole place is considerably cleaner than it was when I left, not that it was really all that dirty before. Regen bounds over to the dog bed we put in the corner of the room and gets comfortable. Even that looks to have been washed. “Eren?”

I hear movement coming from the bedroom and start walking toward it. Before I get to the hallway, though, he walks out, holding something behind his back. He looks sheepish. I open my mouth to talk, but he shoves his hands forward before I have the chance.

In his hands is a hastily put together bouquet of carnations. The petals are all white, tipped with pink. Striped carnations. My stomach plummets. He can’t… I can’t have fucked this up that badly, right? “I- E-Eren?” My voice cracks slightly, revealing how much pain I’m fighting. I feel like I’m going to throw up. So much so that I calculate how long it would take me to run to the bathroom from here. I look around frantically for any signs he’s started packing.

“I-I’m sorry.” He’s still holding his arms out straight in front of him. The soft scent of the flowers is filling my nose and adding to the nausea.

“I don’t-Was it what I said?”

His eyes widen, “What?”

His confusion gives me pause. “Eren, do you… do you know what those flowers mean?” I’m still eyeing them warily, refusing to touch them.

“I-huh? Yeah, I’m sorry or something like that. I was an idiot, I’m apologising.”

I stare at him, long and hard. And then something in me snaps. It starts as a quiet convulsion in my abdomen and then builds fast and hard. Before I know it, I’m doubled over trying to contain my manic laughter. Every time I try to straighten and stop, I catch a glimpse of Eren’s increasingly concerned face and I just double over again. My muscles hurt from the effort and I’m pretty sure Eren is terrified. Which just makes me laugh even harder.

Eventually, he puts a hand to my shoulder tentatively, “Um, Levi?”

It take another several moments, but I finally manage to calm myself enough to breathlessly respond, “God, Eren. You’re such a fucking dumbass.”

He frowns and it sends another round of helpless giggles from my throat. “What is so funny?”

“Those are striped carnations.”

He looks down at the bouquet he’s still holding, “Yeah?” He’s so confused.

“Striped carnations mean ‘I’m sorry I can’t be with you.’ It’s a rejection. I thought you were fucking breaking up with me.” I wipe my eyes of the amused tears.

Eren looks absolutely horrified and I stifle yet more laughter. He stares down at the flowers in his hands then stalks off to the kitchen and throws them out. “Stop laughing! I feel awful now.”

“Come here.” I hold out an arm to him and he approaches cautiously. I try to put on a serious expression again, but I end up having to settle with a wide smile. As soon as he’s within reach, I pull him into me and drag him down for a deep kiss. I meet his eyes when I pull away, “I’m sorry I yelled at you. And I’m sorry for what I said. I had a bad day, and even though it’s no excuse, it put me on edge.”

His eyes widen at my apology. I realise I’ve never apologised to him before. I’ve never needed to. And apologies are far and few between from me. He leans down and presses his forehead to mine, “I’m sorry I reacted. I had a bad day, too. I hope you didn’t take any of the stupid shit I said to heart. I love you and if you don’t know that by now, then I have failed.”

I lean in for a kiss then stop short.

What did he say?

I pull back, and say dumbly, “What?”

He grins and leans forward to finish what I had started. His mouth moves against mine, forming the words I still can’t believe, “I love you, Levi.”

“I- I love you, too.”


	7. Orange Begonia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Begonias mean beware.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It's Friday again! I hope everyone had a lovely New Year and that your 2015 will be great and all. So this chapter was super fun for me. Um shout out to all the DMMD fans who spot the reference. Also, points to anyone who can identify my favorite couple lines from this chapter, they may also be my favorite of the whole story.
> 
> As always, thanks to the ever lovely [Renee](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com) for editing and not telling our professor that I've based a character off of her and her tattoos... Cuz that happened.
> 
> I have a [tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com) and my ask box is open for questions, chatting, requests, you name it.

October brings much cooler weather, fallen leaves, and an increasingly irate Eren.

I don’t really understand what has been going on with him. Especially because October brings out the closest thing to giddy I ever get. I thought he would tease me about my less than ornery behaviour.

It starts out slow.

The first of October hits and I smile considerably more than usual. Eren notices, “What are you so smiley about?”

“Hmmm,” I say with a grin and lean down to where he’s sitting on the couch for a quick kiss, “Just happy. I love this time of year.”

About a week later, he comes home from work irritated and huffy.

“What’s up with you?” I ask without looking up from the computer screen.

He stomps around heavily for a moment before responding, “Bad day. Irritating client.” He disappears into the bedroom for a few minutes then comes back out and approaches my desk chair. His arms wrap around my shoulders and he inhales deeply, “Mmm, I missed you today.”

“You saw me this morning. We work next door to each other. We went to lunch together.”

His arms tighten and he buries his face in my hair, “Yeah, but it was a long day. And it’s late now. Can’t I miss you while I’m at work?” He pulls back and runs his hands through my hair and I let my head fall back slightly at his touch. “What are you doing?”

“Ordering some stock and decorations. I’m just about finished.” I type in the last of the payment information and click submit. The page loads slowly. Eren’s fingers creep down the back of my head to my shoulders and start massaging into them.

“The page is loaded.” I didn’t even realise I had closed my eyes until I have to open them to confirm what he had said. I email the confirmation to myself and close the browser. When he speaks again, his voice is close and low, “Now, how about you stop worrying about work and I’ll stop worrying about work and we go worry about each other in the bedroom.”

Suffice it to say, Eren’s previous irritation completely slips my mind.

However, over the next several days, it keeps happening.

Sometimes he comes up from work and he’s fine. It’s normal and we watch TV over dinner and go to sleep.

But other times, Eren huffs and puffs his way through whatever we do to wind down until he can convince me to get into bed with him. 

Not that I can really complain. As long as Eren’s frustrations are culminating in sex, they aren’t being taken out on anyone. And I sure as hell can’t complain about the additional bedroom time. However, the continued frequency is worrying me. His temper gets the best of him pretty easily, but this is getting excessive.

About two and a half weeks into the month, when he comes home frustrated yet again, I confront him.

“Alright, this is getting ridiculous. What is up with you lately?”

“What?” he mumbles into the fridge as he looks for leftovers.

I raise an eyebrow that completely loses its effect since Eren isn’t looking at me. “You’ve come back from work almost every day for the past two weeks irritated and stomping around like a little shit. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He throws the refrigerator door shut and sighs heavily. Finally he looks over at me then joins me on the couch. “What’s your favorite holiday?”

I should learn to stop being surprised by his random, out-of-the-blue questions when he’s about to talk about something serious. “Um, Halloween.”

He sighs again, “Of course it is. And what’s your least favorite?”

I really can’t see where this could possibly be going, but I humour him, “Christmas.”

This gives him pause and it’s almost like his anger takes a back seat to his surprise. “Isn’t your birthday on Christmas?”

“Hence my distaste for the holiday.”

He frowns, but then shrugs and his irritation returns. “What’s so great about Halloween?”

I give it a little thought, “I don’t know, really. I like the stupid fake scary shit. I love horror movies. I like the time of year, the chill of fall. I’m also shit at explaining this kind of thing.”

He looks thoughtful and stares at his hands. He’s so quiet I think he’s just going to stop there. Eventually, very quietly and with a restrained anger, he speaks, “I hate Halloween.”

“Eren.” He looks up at me, determination and flashes of anger lighting up his eyes. I find it strange how much this affects him, but then again, he hasn’t seen me around Christmas. “Are you going to tell me that you’ve been acting like a sex-crazed ass just because you don’t like a holiday that’s practically a blip on the radar of the year?”

He scowls and I have to fight to keep the smile off my face. I know I fail to keep it out of my eyes. “No. I just- ugh.” He collapses into me, leaning so his forehead is against my chest and his arms are limp in my lap. I pat his head a little. Finally, he pulls back and sits back up. “I’m sorry. I have this client. She’s been coming to Ilse’s shop before I started there and she let me practice on her. She decided she liked me and kept coming back. When I moved on to a new shop, she followed. I hadn’t seen her since I opened here. But I didn’t really expect to. She came back that first time I came back from a bad day. And has returned several times since then.”

I look at him, forehead creased in minor confusion, “What, do you not like her or something?”

“No, she’s great. She’s really funny and she’s a teacher. She likes to complain about her students and gossip about other teachers. And she’s really sarcastic.”

My frown deepens, “I’m failing to see the issue, then.”

“Yeah, I’m getting there.”

“Well get there faster, I’m getting old here.”

He glares dangerously at me, but I know there isn’t any real venom behind it. I can see the amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Anyway, she’s got a half-finished sleeve that she comes back to add to every year around this time. It’s a Halloween themed sleeve.”

I stare back at him. I don’t really trust myself enough to not say something outrageously dickish, so I keep my mouth shut.

“And that’s totally fine! I try not to judge what people choose to put on their skin. Hell, I’ve got a bunch of dumb shit. No, the reason it just gets me so riled up is that she always wants the tattoo to be done on Halloween or as close to it as she can, but she comes in three weeks early to get it planned. While I appreciate the time I get to draw out the intricate ideas she has, I don’t need her to come back nearly every day to check up on it.”

“Sounds annoying.”

“Yes! Between that and dealing with all my other clients, several of which also want stupid Halloween themed shit, it just pisses me off and I come up in a bad mood. It’s stupid. Sorry.” He hangs his head.

“What is it?”

He looks up at me, “What?”

“Her design. What is she getting this year?” He looks at me oddly but gets up rummages around in his bag. He returns holding his massive sketchbook he uses for his tattoos.

He flips it open to a page with an unfinished sketch of Frankenstein’s monster, “Here.”

“Cheesy old horror about the industrial revolution.” I say helpfully.

The frown I get indicates it was maybe not so helpful. “Yeah. And she wants the horrid green for its skin and of course black for hair. She wants all this detail but green is such an awful color to get good shading with, I’m going to have to use yellows and blues… And you don’t care about any of that.”

Something on my face must have said bored or blank or something, “Well, no. But you have a really excellent drawing here.”

He flushes, “Thank you.” He sets the sketchbook aside and curls up into me. I wrap my arms around him. Whenever we have a talk that even approaches serious, Eren gets really cuddly afterwards. I can’t find it in myself to mind too much.

At some point we turn the television on and he parts from me to make himself something to eat.

For the next few days, he comes home in a good mood, but I can see him holding back some days.

“Eren.”

“What?” he replies, a little too tersely for the mask he’s trying to maintain.

“You’re allowed to come home irritated. You are allowed to have bad days.”

He stares at me with wide eyes for a moment before looking down at the floor, “I don’t want to annoy you.”

“Hey.” It takes a minute, but he finally looks back up at me, “You annoy me plenty. Everyone annoys me. Just so happens, you annoy me a lot less than most. However, your emotions are valid. You don’t ever need to hide or suppress them. C’mere.” He approaches me and stands a little too far away. I step up close and look up at him, “Want me to make it better?” I take my first two fingers and walk them up his front, starting at his bellybutton and stopping when I reach the divot between his collarbones.

He swallows hard and nods. I turn away and walk into the bedroom. He follows on my heels.

\--

The Sunday before Halloween, Eren and I are laying in bed together. Neither of us have bothered with clothes all day and have used this to our advantage. Now we’re curled up together, my head resting on his chest, fucked out and exhausted.

“Hey,” I say softly into the quiet of our synchronised breathing.

“Hmm?”

I trail nonsense patterns along his stomach, occasionally making the muscles underneath twitch involuntarily. “I know you hate it, but will you do something with me for Halloween?”

He huffs a little, “You already have the shop decorated, what more do you want?”

One corner of my mouth lifts in a smirk and I turn my head to look up at his face, “Dress up with me.”

He gives me a speculative look, “Levi, Halloween is in, like, four days. I don’t have time to get something together even if I wanted to.”

I settle back onto his chest, “Oh, you’re way more determined than that. But if you don’t want to, fine.”

His chest vibrates with a low hum but we say no more on the subject.

\--

On Tuesday evening, Hanji barrels into my apartment with only a few frantic knocks as a warning.

“Levi! Where’s the lover?” They’re wearing a long black dress with lace that is meant to look like spiderwebs that makes up the sleeves and runs from the neckline all the way up their throat. In some places, little plastic spiders are stuck in the lace. I smile, I knew I was still their friend for a reason.

“Working. Not sure when he’s due home, but not for a while. He has a few appointments tonight. You look nice.”

They spin and show off the outfit, “Thank you! Gotta be in the spirit of the holiday.”

“As much as I enjoy Halloween, it’s not until Friday. You’re a bit early. Tea?”

“Sure.” I move to the kitchen to start and they settle at the table. “So what are you doing Friday?”

“Don’t know. Eren doesn’t like Halloween.”

They gasp and I roll my eyes even though they can’t see it since my back is turned, “What blasphemy! How can he not like Halloween? It’s the greatest holiday!”

I sit down at the table with them and pass over a mug of tea, “Something to do with clients and theme tattoos. Pretty sure it’s more than that, but I don’t need to know everything.” A glint of curiosity in their eyes makes me amend, “And neither do you.”

We sit in comfortable silence for a few moments. They look around the room, “Doesn’t a dog live here now? How is this place still so clean?”

I glare at them over my mug, “There’s this little thing called _cleaning_ that we do here. It tends to keep a place _clean_. Maybe you’ve heard of it.”

“Har har, Levi. Where is the puppy? I still haven’t met him.”

“Downstairs. Eren keeps him in the shop while he-” The sound of the door opening cuts off my voice and the dog in question bounds in excitedly. He heads toward the corner where his food and bed are on instinct, but he stops dead and sees Hanji. He immediately changes course and comes to beg for attention. While Hanji is busied by the happy rottweiler, Eren shuts the door behind him. “You’re early.”

“Yeah, client cancelled.” He turns toward us, “Oh, hi, Hanji.”

“Hello, Eren! I just came by to spread some Halloween cheer and say hi.”

“Why couldn’t you have informed me of that when you busted in here?” I mutter. No one acknowledges my complaint.

Eren stands in the middle of the living room awkwardly, “Um, okay. You look nice, by the way.”

Hanji’s hands are still preoccupied with feeding into Regen’s need for attention, by they turn more in their seat to look at Eren more head on, “Thank you. Levi tells me you don’t have a penchant for the holiday.”

“Yeah. I’m not much of a fan.” I kind of feel bad for him, he looks pretty uncomfortable under their attention.

But they seem to have moved on. Without any further words, they direct all their attention back to Regen, talking to him like he’s their precious child. Eren, realising he’s been relieved of the line of fire, goes into the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water. As he’s pulling out a chair to join us around the table, their head snaps up, “I know what you can do!”

“What the fuck are you on about, shitty-glasses?” I ask, not really caring about the answer. It’s sure to be ridiculous anyway.

“Eren, how do you feel about kids?” I eye them suspiciously, but don’t say anything.

“Uh, they’re fine I guess.”

“Levi hates kids.” This is common knowledge and does not help tell what the fuck the point is.

“What is your point, Hanji?” I ask when they don’t appear to feel like revealing themselves.

“Well, this is a pretty busy part of town and plenty of people live around here. So on Friday, you guys should hand out candy. That way you both have to be involved in something you hate.”

Well that certainly wasn’t expected. “Hanji, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I could make you a list,” they grin broadly and I just glare back. Unfortunately, they’ve long since stopped being intimidated by it. Actually, I’m not entirely sure they ever were.

“Actually,” Eren’s voice turns both our heads, “It’s not a terrible idea.”

Hanji fucking glows with the information that their idea is being considered. “Well, my seeds have been sown. Now I’m off. Might come by Friday. Thanks for the tea!” They stand up and run out the door after giving Regen one final pat. It’s several quiet moments before Eren or I recover from the whirlwind.

“What the fuck just happened?”

Regen, having lost his attention giver, moves off to lay down on his bed. Eren looks at me, “They’re your friend!”

“Unfortunately, and that makes me no more equipped to deal with them.” I get up and take mine and Hanji’s mugs to the sink to wash them. While I’m up, I wipe down the counters then look around to see what I can make for dinner. “How does pasta sound?”

His head turns toward me with a vacant expression, “Huh?”

“Pasta. For dinner.”

“Yeah, sure.” His gaze turns back to his water. I watch him for a moment then turn back to the kitchen to fill a pot with water and start it on the stove. While I wait for the water to boil, I glance over to the table and find Eren still staring at his water and he hasn’t touched it.

I walk up behind him and run my hands through his hair. I love his hair, it’s fantastic. “Hey, you’ve been staring at that water for five minutes. You planning on drinking it?”

He starts at my touch but then immediately relaxes into it. “I’d do it, you know.”

I massage my fingers into his scalp, occasionally scratching lightly. He makes small, pleased noises. “What would you do?”

“Hand out candy with you. Hanji was right, we’d probably get plenty of kids trick or treating around here. But you’d know better than me.”

“I wouldn’t actually. I don’t hand out candy.”

He twists in the chair and turns his head to face me, “I thought you like Halloween.”

“Halloween, yes. Children with grubby fingers begging for candy, much less so.”

“What do you usually do, then?”

“Scare the children with grubby fingers begging for candy.” I smirk when he frowns. “Hanji or Erwin sometimes finds us a party to go to. We usually dress up. Sometimes we really do just walk around and scare the kids. But Hanji can do that one a normal day, so it’s not as much fun as I would like.”

“But you’ve never given out candy?” I shake my head. “It’s a good year to start.”

“I’ll tell you what.” He stares at me, urging me to go on, “I’ll hand out candy with you from the shops,” he smiles, “ _if_ you dress up with me.”

His face twists but I can see his mind working, milling it over. “I don’t have time to get something together.”

“Somehow, I really doubt that’ll be a problem.”

His brow furrows, “Why?”

I lean down and kiss his forehead, “Hold on.” I leave him to go to the bedroom momentarily and locate my phone. I dial and press the phone to my ear.

After half a ring, the phone is answered, “Hanji, certified genius and Halloween master, at your service!”

“You knew I’d call, didn’t you?” I say flatly.

“Mayyybe. What do you need?”

I make my way back to the living room and Eren watches me curiously with his head cocked adorably. “I’m assuming you’ve amassed a stockpile of last minute costumes.”

“You would be absolutely correct! Does my favorite dual eyed tattoo artist need something?”

I frown at their description, however accurate, “Nothing too outrageous.”

They’re quiet for a moment, mentally checking through their stock no doubt, “I’ve got just the thing. Do you want to come pick up or should I drop it off?”

“I can come by and get it tomorrow.”

I start to take the phone from my ear but they continue speaking, so I press it back, “Do you need anything?”

I smirk, “Hanji, I’ve had something ready for over a month.”

“Of course! Well, see you tomorrow then.”

I hang up.

“Hanji?”

“Yeah,” I say, returning to the kitchen to check on the water. It’s boiling so I stir in the pasta. “They’ve got all sorts of costumes in every corner of their place. Actually, it probably needs cleaning before you should wear anything they have.”

Finally, he takes a drink from his glass, “Alright.”

\--

Friday morning, Christa handles the store so I can get myself and Eren ready. I told her I encourage Halloween participation, I wonder if she dressed up.

Up to this point, I’ve been keeping the costume I got from Hanji hidden in a box in the back room of the store. I wanted to keep it a surprise for the few days before Halloween and now I was practically giddy with the excitement of the reveal.

“You’re smiling. Like, a lot. It’s weird,” Eren informs me when I come up from the store, holding the box.

“Fuck off, I’m excited.” I set the box down on the coffee table in front of where Eren sits on the couch. Regen wanders over and gives the box a cursory sniff, but decides it’s not edible and therefore uninteresting.

I stand back and watch him as he lifts the top off the box. I watch his every expression and despite being disappointed in his obvious lack of excitement, his poorly hidden horror is more than amusing enough to make up for it.

“Is that _fur_?”

My smile widens, “Yup. Not real, of course. But high quality faux if I know Hanji.”

He stares at me with wide eyes, “You want me… to wear that?”

“Yes.” He shrinks, “Hey,” I walk around the table and sit next to him, “If you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

He clenches his fists over his knees. I know that face and those mannerisms. Nothing is going to shake him, he’s determined. I love this about him. His jaw is set, his mouth turned down slightly, and his eyes glow. It’s one of the most attractive things I’ve ever seen. “I want to.”

I smile, “I know.” I kiss his cheek, “I’m going to go change. You should too.”

I get up and go to the bedroom. The whole time I pull out my shirt, vest, pants, and cape I have a small smile on my face. I let myself imagine what Eren is going to look like in his costume. I slip out of my shirt and pants and put on the starched white button down over my undershirt. As I pull the pressed black pants up my mind wanders.

I love stepping into a role. I guess that’s a big part of why I enjoy Halloween so much. It’s a good chance to be someone else. Not that I’m unhappy with being myself, but sometimes it’s nice to just put it away and be someone else for a little while. The only other time I really got to do that is when I did drama in high school. It’s been a long time.

Once I secure my cape, black with red on the inside, with a silver chain, I look into the mirror on the back of the door for final adjustments. The high collar on the cape does wonders for the look, but I’m still missing the most important part. Satisfied with the outfit, I dig through the medicine cabinet for the custom fangs and stick them carefully on my canines. Finally, I return to the living room.

Eren’s twisting around trying to see himself. He’s got dark brown pants that match the patchy faux fur and, coincidentally, his own hair as well. The back of the pants have a thick, bushy tail falling from just below the waist band. A long sleeved shirt covers his top half in the same brown color with a vest of fur over top of it. To complete the look, he has a headband over his hair which practically disappears with wolf ears atop it.

I lean against the wall and wait patiently for him to notice I’ve come out. With one particularly violent twist which I imagine was an attempt to see the tail, he catches sight of me and stops to stare. “Wow.”

I smile, showing off the fangs in my mouth, “I’ll take that as a compliment. You look great.”

He blushes and rubs his hands over the fur on the vest. “I feel kind of silly.”

I approach him and rub my hands up and down his arms, then capture his hands in mine, “You are silly. But that isn’t a bad thing.”

He smiles back at me and finally looks like he’s happy about all this, “I have to go to work. Ha, you should come over, I can’t wait until my client sees me. She knows I hate Halloween.”

“When’s the appointment?”

“Three.”

“I’ll see what I can do. And you’ll be over at five?”

“As soon as I finish her piece. Should be approximately two hours, but things can go wrong. I don’t want to rush it.”

I kiss him, “I know. Now go, I’m right behind you.”

Before turning away, he pulls my head up for another kiss, this time running his tongue over the fangs on my teeth. “I think you should keep those on tonight,” he whispers suggestively.

I shiver, but he’s already pulling away and heading out the door before I can respond.

\--

Halloween is actually a really busy day for me around here. There’s a large population of people who celebrate Dia de los Muertos and a lot of them want flowers. Since it’s over the weekend this year, I’m getting even more people today. There’s a steady stream of customers and several of them are dressed up. Being nice and cheerful for the patrons is considerably easier today than usual.

Christa being around is helping monumentally. She’s dressed up as a forest nymph, with a light flowy dress and gorgeous blue wings sewn into the back. She’s absolutely beautiful in it. She flits around the shop, helping people find the best flowers, almost like a real nymph. I’d almost be able to convince myself they exist because of her.

At three twenty, there is a lull slow enough that I don’t feel too bad leaving Christa for a bit. I head over next door and am greeted with a busy shop with none other than Armin at the desk.

“Armin?”

“Oh, hey, Levi. If Eren gets really busy he sometimes asks me to help out front.” He says in response to my unasked question. “He’s in the second room on the right. I like your costume.”

Grateful for his explanation and help, I start toward the back, “Thanks, Armin.”

Just before I disappear I see a vaguely familiar girl with an angry face which could rival mine and blonde hair pulled back in a bun sidle up to the counter and Armin blushes.

I open the door and find Eren chatting amicably with a woman sitting up on the bench with her arm turned up. Eren is concentrated on the arm and his tattoo machine buzzes while his gloved hands glide across the skin. Both heads look up as I walk in.

“Levi! You made it! Petra, this is Levi. Levi, Petra.” She looks me up and down and I return the favour. She’s got on a shirt that’s practically ripped to pieces and a pair of jean shorts in a similar state of distress. Fake blood is all over her skin, concentrated at her neck and chest. A large manufactured bite wound marks her right shoulder. The only really clean part of her is her left arm which Eren is working on. Even her short red hair has some fake blood run through it.

“You did good with this one.”

Eren blushes but she doesn’t catch it, “Yeah, I thought so.”

“Nice to meet you, Petra,” I reach out to shake her hand. She returns the gesture.

“And polite, you didn’t tell me he was polite, Eren.”

Eren chuckles and returns to the tattoo. I take up the response, “Yeah, that’s a fluke.”

“Funny, too! I love your costume by the way. Very Victorian Dracula. The red is a nice touch. How’d you manage to get this guy to dress up? I’ve been trying for years.”

My eyes flick to Eren, who’s smiling to himself while he focuses on the lines he’s putting down with his little machine. “I happen to have certain advantages.”

She laughs, and it’s a lovely sound. “I’m sure that helps.”

I stay for a few more minutes, then leave to return to help Christa. “Oh, Levi. Before you go, Eren tells me you haven’t had any work done. You should consider it. Plus, you’ve got one of the best artists in town here to do it.”

I look at her strangely, but don’t say anything before I leave.

We stay open late, but customers stop coming in much after five. It takes Eren thirty extra minutes before he and Petra come out of the shop together, Petra’s arm wrapped and a big smile on her face. “I’ll be seeing you, Eren. Maybe next year we’ll do a werewolf.” She winks and he grimaces.

When she walks off, with a short wave in my direction, he takes a seat in a folding chair I had set out in front of the shop next to mine. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I reply, picking a milky way out of the big bag between the chairs. “You missed a couple early people, but most people will be around in an hour or so.”

“Okay,” he twines his fingers with mine as I finish the candy, “It’s pretty nice out.”

“Yeah. Thanks for doing this.”

He grins at me, “No thanks needed. This should be interesting.”

I send him an unimpressed look. A few beats pass, “Hey, you never told me what your favorite holiday is.”

His grin widens into something decidedly more mischievous, “Christmas.”

Great. “Of course it is. Remind me how it is we’re compatible?”

He just laughs.

We talk a little and steal our own candy for a while. At one point, Ymir pops her head out to say hi, or more accurately to tease us for our entirely domestic Halloween activities. Around seven, the traffic on the streets really picks up. Parents tiredly shepherding their children around town to beg for candy, teenagers trying to look cool, playing tricks on other unsuspecting people. We are flooded with people for nearly two hours straight. I’m glad we went to the bulk warehouse store for candy, because otherwise we would have run out ages ago.

At nine thirty, the trick or treaters finally start calming down. The street traffic shifts from parents with kids to college age people and up walking around probably on their way to various parties around town. Eren looks both exhausted and energised, if such a thing is possible. It’s clear he enjoyed interacting with all the different people, even if he doesn’t appreciate the sentiment of the holiday.

Quarter to ten we start packing up. A very small fraction of our candy stock remains, so I start rolling up the bag. Before I get too far, a group of three kids runs up from nowhere all simultaneously screaming “Trick or treat!”

I’m half tempted to tell them to fuck off or try to come up with an on the spot trick. They look like they are the worst kind of children. One of the boys is dressed in this hideous green and yellow thing with a black beanie that looks like he’s going for something between a bear and a bumble bee. The other boy is wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled up to show a mouse face complete with ears. The girl is wearing a lot of pink and looks like she would have fit in well with an eighties exercise movie.

Eren must have realised my thought process because he gives me a look that says something like ‘don’t you dare, give those kids some candy.’ I sigh and unroll the bag and pull out big handfulls for each kid. They all look at each other’s buckets and then to me. Then they run off, teasing each other the whole way. I think they might have mentioned something about how scary I was. I let myself have the pleasure of a satisfied smirk.

We manage to finish packing up without anymore interruptions. The shop is dark, Christa had left at eight and gone in to keep Ymir company. We put up the chairs and walk up to the apartment.

While I’m reaching up in a cupboard to put away the rest of the candy, I feel warm arms wrap around me. “I never imagined a vampire could look so sexy.”

“That’s because your only reference is the stupid ass ones in Twilight.”

He kisses my neck, “Fair point.”

I turn in his embrace so I’m facing him. “How did Regen seem after spending all day up here?”

“Awww, you do care!” I scoff. “I think he was just fine. Seems he just slept around on the couch.”

“Big lazy lug. Though, I’d take a page out of that book, I’m exhausted after dealing with all those kids.”

Eren smirks and moves his hands to grip my hips. He presses up against me, which pushes me back into the counter, “ _Sind Sie sicher?_ ”

All thoughts of sleep are chased away, “No fair, asshole.”

He purrs into my ear, “Are you complaining?”

I glare at him, but I know my rapidly hardening dick gives me away, “No.”

He pulls at me, urging us toward the bedroom, “How about you show me just how sexy a vampire can be?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter is a massive shift and won't even be from Levi's POV. Feel free to offer guesses as to whose it will be from!


	8. Green Moss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moss symbolises maternal love and charity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok a few things. Other than that this is a midweek update, which is unusual (yay!).
> 
> First, LET ME SCREAM AND SOB UNATTRACTIVELY FOR A WHILE. The fucking amazing and wonderful and perfect [Rosanticis](http://rosanticis.tumblr.com) DREW ME A [PICTURE](http://playingchello.tumblr.com/post/107021429160/rosanticis-just-a-silly-sketch-after-reading) from chapter one and it is absolute perfection (and this is now in the notes for chapter one, also). Like, I seriously can't get over how amazing this is. I am not worthy of fanarts and this is so wonderful and thank you so much, sweetie.
> 
> Second, so no one managed to guess the POV for this chapter, but one person did get close with Jean (I thought about writing this chapter from his POV but I had done Jean POV before already so I tried something new). ANYWAY, what I really want to say is that I wrote a really short little drabble thing a ways back that is relevant to this chapter. It doesn't really matter if you read it before or after, it's just another perspective and a _little_ more information. Anyway, it can be found [here](http://playingchello.tumblr.com/post/106972585535/playingchello-for-any-of-my-never-a-rose).
> 
> Third, thank you to [Renee](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com) who chatted with me for the two hours I was in the Subaru dealership waiting for my car while I wrote this chapter. She's the bestest beta and I love her.
> 
> I have a [tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com) and also a [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/playingchello) if you are at all into that. I love to hear your opinions and thoughts and reactions!

The fact that it’s starting to get considerably colder is unfortunate, but it doesn’t deter me. I wrap my coat around myself tighter to fend of the wind and continue down the lonely street. I hope Levi has the shop open, sometimes he’s on lunch around this time. I should have come later.

Finally, I’m able to make out the storefront for Petal Wings. I’ve been coming here every week for two years. Ever since my mother died. It’s become ritual to visit her grave for a few hours on my day off, which happens to fall on Wednesday. She loved flowers, and came to Petal Wings when she was alive often. Now, I come by to pick up a bouquet every week to leave with her. Help brighten up the little plot where she’s been laid to rest. It hurts, but it also helps, to talk to her and spend time with her.

It used to be really hard. I cried a lot. I feel bad for Levi the first few times I showed up after she died. I broke down and I don’t think he knew what to do. Honestly, the fact that he just kind of ignored me and just got flowers together for me was exactly what I needed at the time. He’s clearly more comfortable around me since the crying stopped.

And lately he’s been downright pleasant. I’ve spent a lot of time in Petal Wings, not only over the last two years, but before that with my mom, too. Levi has always been hard to get along with. Even when he tries to be genial with customers, he still comes off as a little cold and distant. But ever since the tattoo shop started playing their music a little too loud, he’s been much happier. All thanks to a certain artist. I’m happy for them. I’ve met Eren a couple times now. He hangs around the shop sometimes when I’m there. He brings out the best in Levi and it’s been good for him.

I make it to the door with a soft smile. As soon as I step into the shop, the warmth floods over me and I relax immediately. I can hear voices coming from the counter and I look over and see Eren leaning over the counter talking to Levi. I offer a small wave and they both acknowledge me in their own ways. Eren offers a smile and a return wave while Levi just nods with his neutral expression.

I go about looking through Levi’s stock on my own. I’ve been here enough times to know my way around the place pretty well. I make my way slowly, taking care to examine each flower. The shop is somewhat scarce this time of year. With spring over, a lot of flowers aren’t available anymore. Levi’s good about keeping a steady stock though.

From the front, I hear Levi chuckle at something Eren said. I smile. I realise I’ve never actually heard Levi laugh before. It’s pleasant, and I’m glad Eren brings it out of him. I don’t really know Levi all that well, but I feel a sort of friendship with him since he’s been there the whole time through my mom’s death and everything. So, even though we aren’t the kind of friends to hang out or anything, I still feel really happy for him that he’s found someone that makes him happy.

It takes me two trips around the whole store before I settle on orchids and day lilies for my mom today. I’m actually surprised there are day lilies, those are hard to find. Before I can make it up to the counter though, the door opens with a flourish and cold wind rushes in briefly. A thin man covered in tattoos stalks over to the counter. His hair, dual toned and styled in an undercut, is a mess of golden strands. His face is twisted into an irritated scowl.

“I was looking for you, Jaeger. Aren’t you supposed to be opening now?”

“I’ll open when I damn well feel like it, Kirschtein,” Eren replies. Clearly they know each other.

“Fuck you, we have an appointment,” the stranger says tersely.

Levi adds in, “This is my shop and I have customers, keep your shitty language to yourself.”

The stranger opens his mouth to retort, but I choose that moment to walk up to make my purchase.

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?” I ask tentatively, holding the flowers I’d picked out awkwardly.

“As a matter of fact,” the stranger starts. He turns and his eyes meet mine and something flashes across them. As quick as it appeared, though, it disappears. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Jean.” Levi’s growl is a dangerous warning, but now I had a name. Jean. The French way.

“It’s alright, Levi.”

Jean looks me over with a frown that is somewhere between mild interest and a scowl. “Are you all set, Marco?” Levi’s voice brings my attention back to him with a little jump.

“Uh, yeah. If you could put these together?” I hold up the flowers I’d picked out, “And maybe some moss in the arrangement would be nice, if you’ve got it.”

He looks at me oddly, probably thinking moss doesn’t really belong in an arrangement but then the corners of his eyes soften and I know he just realised why I asked. “Sure.” He takes the flowers from me and turns to his work table to put together the arrangement, leaving Eren, Jean, and I to wait at the counter.

“What are the flowers for?” The question startles me, especially since it’s Jean’s downturned mouth that speaks it.

I’m by no means ashamed of my reason for being here, but at the same time, it’s really personal. Levi knows because I had to tell him something when I broke down crying in the shop two years ago, plus it was all over the papers at the time. Eren probably has some idea, but I’ve never actually said anything to him. Anything he knows came from Levi. But this new person, Jean. I can feel myself shrinking a bit out of anxiety. I push it down and offer a wide smile, “They’re for my mother.”

“You a momma’s boy or something?”

I should probably be angry, but something about him makes it hard. Eren’s horrified expression and the stiffening of Levi’s shoulders tells me that the two of them are angry enough for me anyway. I just widen my smile a bit more and answer, “Something like that.”

Jean finally decides to take a look around, apparently put off by my answer, and notices Eren’s face and the flash of anger in his eyes. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Eren stares at him for a few more moments, then sighs and shakes his head, “You’re an ass.”

I appreciate Eren’s apparent concern for my feelings, especially since we don’t really know each other, but it is entirely unnecessary. Two years ago, hell even one year ago, those comments may have thrown me off. Might have made me shrink away and maybe even brought tears to my eyes. But it’s been a long time. I’m stronger and it hurts less. Plus, I don’t really think he meant to be particularly insulting. I think it was just his way of communicating. And thinking back, it was kind of funny. I chuckle a little to myself.

“What’s so funny, Freckles?” Jean says with narrowed eyes

That makes me laugh a bit harder, “Freckles? Really?”

“You have a lot of them,” he shrugs, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. I can’t say it’s never happened before. They’re one of my defining features.

“You should see me in the summer, it’s like they come out from hibernation or something.” His eyes widen briefly but then he laughs. Full and hearty. The sound is more than a little entrancing. It’s rich and warm and sort of surprising considering his demeanor up until now.

“You’re funny, Freckles,” he says around breathless chuckles.

I smile warmly, “Marco. My name is Marco Bodt.”

For the first time, he smiles. It’s genuine and bright and soft. “Jean Kirschtein.” He holds out a hand to me.

Eren sighs loudly, “Levi, please tell me you’re almost done. I don’t think I can take this anymore.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jaeger. We can go any time. You have a job to do,” Jean snaps. I grin.

Eren opens his mouth to say something again, but Levi chooses that moment to turn around, completed bouquet in hand. “All of you, shut up. Here, Marco.” I take the flowers from him and he accepts my payment. “Say hi to your mom for me?”

“Always do,” I smile. He acts like he’s cold and tough, and he is, but he’s a huge softie under it all. Not that I’d ever say that to him. He’d probably kill me.

“Now if you’re all quite done, I’ve got shit to do and so, apparently, do you, Eren.”

Eren sticks his tongue out but starts heading for the door. “Fine, come on, Jean. Let’s get this piece knocked out.”

Jean waves at him, “Yeah, I’ll be right there.” Eren heaves an exasperated sigh, probably because Jean was the impatient one when he came in. I start heading toward the door and Jean falls in stride with me, “So, Marco.”

“Hmm?” He’s so close I can smell him, even over the fragrant flowers I’m holding. He has a dark, rugged scent that reminds me of a rainy forest. That and something I can’t really place.

“Uh,” he runs his hand through his already messy hair, not helping matters, and then scratches at the back of his head. “I, um-” He’s suddenly nervous for some reason, stumbling over his words and stammering. Then, all at once he says very quickly, “Doyouwanttogetcoffeewithmelater?” He heaves a huge breath when he finishes.

I stop and turn to him, just before the door, “What?”

“Heh,” his hand drops to his sides and both fists clench hard. Then he meets my eyes,” Do you, uh- d’you wanna maybe, uh, maybe get coffee with me later?” He looks down at the floor again, “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want. I just-”

“Sure.”

He snaps his eyes up again, shock clear on his face, “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Shock still clear, he breaks out into a wide grin, “I don’t- I mean- Great! Great. Uh, do you know Rosie’s place?”

I nod, “Five? I have a couple things to do.” I hold up the flowers to indicate visiting my mom.

“Oh yeah. Definitely. I’ve got a tattoo to get anyway. Five should be perfect. See you then.” He looks flustered, but also pleased with himself. I smile and we leave the little shop. I’m pretty sure I hear Levi scoff and catch the tiniest of smiles before the door closes.

\--

I arrive at the coffee shop fifteen minutes early. I spent an extra long time with mom and told her all about the new guy I’d met. How he’s a little rough, but he seems like he’s really just a big dork under the tough shell. I also update her on everything else going on in my life and say hello from Levi.

The coffee shop is welcome warmth after spending so long in the cold kneeling before the cold marble of her grave. I glance around quickly and am surprised to see the familiar sandy locks of Jean already seated at a table with his back to the door. I smile to myself as I approach the counter.

“Hey, Rosie.”

“Marco! It’s been a really long time. How are things?”

“Oh, you know, same old,” My smile grows a bit, “I’m actually here on a date.”

“Oh really? Seems I’ve been the site of a lot of first dates lately. Good luck.”

I feel my cheeks heat up and I’ve been inside long enough to know it isn’t from the cold. “Thanks.”

“Anyway, what can I get for you.”

“Hmm, mocha latte?” My eyes scan the menu board behind her, “Oh wait, do you have pumpkin? That’s even better. Pumpkin spice latte, please!”

“No problem, I’ll bring it out when it’s ready.”

I smile appreciatively, “Thanks.”

I pay, then approach the small table Jean is seated at. “Hey.”

He jumps nearly a mile high at the sound of my voice and it makes me chuckle lightly. “What the- Oh! Marco! Hi.”

“Hi.” I take a seat across from him.

His finger run over a bandage on his arm, “Um, can I get you anything?”

“Nah, I just got something, Rosie’ll have it out soon. Is that the tattoo you just got?” I point at the bandage.

“Huh, oh, yeah.” He moves his hand away and grabs the mug in front of him to keep himself from touching it again.

“Can I see it?”

He smiles, clearly proud, and sets his drink back down. “Sure. Here.” He peels back the bandage to reveal a shiny patch of skin with an intricate tribal tree down the inside of his left forearm. “It’s the tree of life, popular in Celtic and neo pagan lore.”

“Wow, the detail is amazing.” Each thick, dark line, upon closer inspection, has white to break it up and give them the appearance of a twisting braid running through it. The roots of the tree curl around Jean’s wrist and the branches wrap around right beneath his elbow.

“There’s a reason I keep going back to Eren. He’s unfairly talented.” He looks… I don’t know. There’s a hint of jealousy. More than a bit of pride. And something like affection. “You know, I’m kind of the reason he ever got into tattoos.”

“Really?” They were closer than I thought. “How?”

He replaces the bandage over his fresh tattoo and takes a quick swig of his drink. Before he can start, though, Rosie comes over to deliver my drink. “Sorry it took so long. Enjoy, dear!” She winks at me and I wave sheepishly as she saunters off again.

“So, you and Eren…?”

He shakes his head, as if he’d been lost in thought staring at where my hand grips my mug, “Oh, yeah. Eren and I went to college together. We were in a few business classes together. I knew he was taking some art classes on the side as electives and had seen his doodles in class. He was fucking amazing. Not that I really wanted to admit that to him; we butt heads and have a bit of history together from high school. But I was looking to get a pretty complicated piece done and his art was fucking perfect.

“So I approached him, brought him in to my artist. He made me go elsewhere because he didn’t like the look of that place. Turns out the new place was way better anyway. The woman there, Ilse, was looking for an apprentice. It took endless convincing to get him to go back, but he eventually did. The rest is history.”

The whole time he was talking I found myself staring at him, watching his lips move as he spoke, tracking the way he talked with his hands. Examining the teases of colour along his collarbone poking out from under his shirt collar. I had been so entranced just watching him speak that I miss when he finishes. “Marco?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. I got a little… distracted.”

He smirks, “I see that.” My eyes flick to his mouth and how his lips pull back in that cocky grin. It’s stupidly attractive. “So how was your mom?”

“What?” My eyes are wide.

“You said the flowers were for your mom. Since you no longer have them, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you saw her? How was sh- Marco?”

While he explains himself I feel myself drawing inward. I sink a little into my seat and unconsciously try to hide behind my coffee mug. “Marco? What’s wrong?”

His voice brings me back to reality and I straighten some. “Sorry, uh. Yeah. I said the flowers were for her, and they were. She, uh, she died two years ago.”

His eyes widen in abject horror, “Holy shit. I am the biggest fucking idiot ever. I am so sorry.”

I hold up a hand to try to stop him, “Jean, calm down. You didn’t know, it’s okay.”

“But… in the- what I said…” he buries his head in his hands, “I’m such an ass.”

I reach toward him and my fingers ghost against his wrist, “Jean.” He peers through his fingers over to me, “It’s alright, really. You didn’t know. And I didn’t correct you. But now you do. Please don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” He finally moves his hands away from his face and sits up again.

“Like I’m going to hit you.”

He winces, “Sorry. I just feel like such a dipshit. Um…” He trails off.

“What do you do for a living?”

He shoots me a grateful look before composing himself again, “Eh, I don’t actually. Going to law school.”

I give him a once over then raise an eyebrow, “You’re going to be a lawyer?”

“That’s the idea anyway.” He looks nervous again.

“How do you afford all those tattoos?”

He looks at me, then breathes out a sigh of… relief? Then he chuckles, “That’s one of the many benefits to growing up as my parent’s only son. Dad has shares in a local oil company and mom’s a surgeon: cardiothoracic. They’re so happy I’m pursuing law that they give me anything I want. Including copious amounts of their money to do with as I please.”

“Wow, sounds like you’re living the life.”

“I guess. It can be hard, too, sometimes. But I try to find the good in it. Thanks for not judging me.”

I cock my head, “Judge you for what?”

“Usually when I tell people I’m in law school the first thing they ask is how I plan on getting a job with so many tattoos.

“I don’t think anyone has the right to judge you for that. And I’m sure you’ve got an idea of what you’ll do about it?”

He finishes the last of his drink, “Yeah, I guess. I’ll see how it goes. It’s not like I’ll walk into an interview dressed like this,” he motions down to himself and his ripped jeans and loose fitting band tee. “I clean up alright, and the tattoos don’t show.”

“Then who cares?” He smiles big and genuine and it’s absolutely stunning.

“You, Marco Bodt, are a fascinating thing. You’re way too good for me.”

I feel my cheeks flush, “I’m not that great. You’re pretty amazing. Law school sounds really tough.”

Now his cheeks brighten with a blush, “I do alright, I guess. What do you do?”

I glance down at my drink, nearly empty, to avoid his gaze. My response comes quiet and self conscious, “I work at a daycare.”

“Did you say daycare?” My eyes flick up to his and I’m surprised by his genuinely curious expression. I nod slightly and he smiles warmly. It’s enough for me to bolster my confidence again. “That’s great. I’m not very good with kids, but I can see you being great.”

“I guess…”

“I bet they fawn over you, huh?” His eyes are soft and sweet.

“Not really,” My finger comes up to rub under my nose, “I mean they like me well enough. They’re all really sweet, the kids that come in.”

“What ages are they?” He seems really truly interested in it and it takes me a second just to compose myself. This guy is ridiculous.

“Between two and five.” I smile brightly thinking of all the kids I see on a regular basis.

“I bet you’d make a great dad,” He’s got this big dopey smile on while he looks at me. Then his eyes widen and he splutters, “Not that, um, not that I mean anything by it. I just- you look like- ugh.” He drops his head down to the table and it hits with a thunk.

“Thank you, Jean,” I say with a smile.

He turns his head and peers up at me. “I’m making such an ass of myself,” he mutters under his breath.

“No, you’re being yourself. I like it.” The way his head shoots up and his eyes look wide and frightened shows me I wasn’t meant to have heard his comment.

“Wait, what?”

I send a small smile over to him as I finish the last of my drink, “It’s getting late. I should head out. I’d love to do this again sometime.”

“Really?” he asks in disbelief, standing at the same time I do. We walk together out of the shop.

“Really. I enjoyed myself. I enjoyed you.” We walk side by side for a short time until I start to turn off and he continues straight. We both stop short and look at each other. “I’m this way,” I mention, pointing off in the direction I was about to head off to.

“And I’m this way,” he says, gesturing forward. “I guess this is goodbye?”

“For now. Here, give me your hand.” He looks at me like I’ve gone mad but I smile and he holds his hand out to me. I grab is and flip it so it’s palm down and pull a marker out of my pocket. I jot down my phone number on the back of his hand. Then, before he gets a chance to see what it is, I pull him toward me and land a chaste kiss to his lips. I pull back, smile, then head off toward home. I can only imagine the look of shock he’s giving the back of my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will resume the main story line and will also still be updating on Friday. There's only like three (?) more chapters left. Plus a side oneshot that just didn't work it's way into the main story.


	9. Christmas Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistletoe has many meanings, ranging from the classic 'kiss me' and affection to surmounting difficulties. It is also the sacred plant of India and the magic plant of the Druids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, wow. Um this chapter is a lot of fun in my opinion. I'm especially partial to the moments with Mikasa. But I'll let you guys be the judge. Also, there's a lot of language stuff in this, the stuff in Turkish is the only stuff that really relevant to be able to understand though. Otherwise, I guess I don't really have much to say.
> 
> Thanks, as usual, to [Renee](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com) who helped a lot in this chapter because my dialogue is awkward as fuck.
> 
> People who follow me on [tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com) get sneak peaks to upcoming things, pictures of my new very radical haircut, and random details about characters that don't make it into the story (like a little tale about Levi's musical abilities in this).
> 
> Comments, kudos, bookmarks, etc. very much appreciated.

“What?”

Eren, being the conniving son of a bitch (Okay, I don’t know his mother so I don’t know, but I’ll get to that) he is, has decided to wait until the last minute to tell me that his parents want to come visit.

“They both have some vacation time and they really want to meet you.”

“And you waited until _now_ to tell me?” He flinches and pulls the covers up over his face. Not only is it last minute, but we just woke up and after some particularly lazy sex, he decided to inform me that his parents are both free this afternoon and he’s invited them over. “Eren.” I pull the covers down off his face. “I’m alright that you invited them over. It’s good, I want to meet your parents. But some warning would have been appreciated.”

He avoids my eyes, “Sorry.”

I put a finger under his chin to make him look at me, “It’s alright. Give me some warning next time. I’m getting in the shower.” I give him a quick kiss then roll over to get off the bed. I collect some clothes for the day and head into the bathroom. It isn’t until the door shuts behind me that I realise the gravity of the situation.

I am going to meet Eren’s mom.

Shit.

He adores her. When he moved in, the first thing to go up was that picture of them when she was doing laundry. I’ve never heard him say a bad word about her. His eyes light up like the fucking stars whenever he talks about her. Actually, I’m kind of surprised it’s taken this long for me to meet her, but she works a lot apparently. Some executive at some big company. With that and the fact that his dad is a surgeon and probably works even more than she does, we’ve never really gotten the opportunity to meet.

But now I have, I glance at the clock, about four hours before they show up here. I have to cook something. And I should clean. And Regen needs a bath. Fuck. I hurry in the shower, still paying all due attention to cleansing myself.

After the shortest shower I remember taking in a very long time, I hurry to dress and get ready. Unfortunately, upon looking through what we have for food, I am disappointed by our distinct lack in that area. Eren comes out from the bedroom, “Armin has a car, right?”

“Mika, actually. Why?”  
Fucking perfect. “You think she’d take me to the store? I need to get some things to make for lunch and there’s not enough time for me to walk.”

“Probably.”

I grab my phone and search for her name, “While I’m gone, Regen needs a bath and you should vacuum.” He rolls his eyes at me while he stuffs a piece of toast in his mouth, but calls for Regen. I finally find Mikasa’s contact in my phone and press send. She answers after two rings.

“What do you want?”

“Fuck you, too, Mikasa. Are you busy?”

“Not particularly,” she says suspiciously.

“I need a ride to the store, could you take me?”

She’s quiet a moment, then, “You’re asking me for help?” I can hear the smugness in her voice.

“Yes. I need to cook something for Eren’s parents.”

She makes a show of thinking about it, then says, “Five minutes.” The line goes dead and I sigh heavily. This is sure to be fun.

I knock on the bathroom door and push it open some. The sight that greets me is horrific, “Please tell me you aren’t actually bathing with the dog.”

Eren straightens under the spray of the shower head, stark naked, from where he was bending over Regen. “Why not? Two birds, one stone and all. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we’re both clean by the end of it.”

“Just… whatever.” I sigh again. This is quickly becoming a common occurrence. “I’m leaving. Anything I need to know before I go?”

“Not really. Oh, no walnuts. Mom’s allergic.”

“Fine.” I start to retreat from the room.

“Hey! I don’t get a kiss goodbye?”

I stare back at him with a flat expression and look him over briefly. “No.” He pouts briefly, but an amused smile flashes across his lips as I leave.

Free of Eren’s eccentricities, I glance at the time and see Mikasa should be here any minute. I throw on a coat and head down to the front. By the time I make it to the street, Mikasa is pulling up in a silver Volkswagen Jetta.

I throw open the door and am surprised by the cleanliness of the interior. I step in and buckle up, “Thank you, Mikasa.” She makes a small noise of acknowledgement and starts driving forward.

After a short silence that I had been entirely fine with maintaining, Mikasa speaks, “This is the first time you’re meeting mom and dad, isn’t it?”

I nod, “Yeah.”

She leaves it there and we fall back into silence. She pulls into the parking lot of the grocery store and parks. I move to get out and am surprised to see her do the same. I raise my eyebrow in question.

“I’m not your chauffeur,” was her only explanation.

We walk together into the store, “What do they like to eat?”

She looks at me with the slightest hint of surprise, “They aren’t too picky. I’m sure anything home-cooked will be a pleasant change with how much they work. Mom used to cook though.”

Great, now I need to worry about impressing another cook. I hesitate, “Any suggestions?”

I hate asking her for help. But this is Eren’s family. I’ve never cared about anyone like I care about Eren and these are his parents. And while I am not particularly concerned about his father, I _need_ his mother to like me. Her opinion matters and I don’t do parents well. I don’t do people well. Goddamnit.

Mikasa eyes me as I have my internal crisis. “You’re really worried about this, aren’t you?” I level her with a venomous glare and she smirks. “Mom likes fish.” My glare lessens fractionally. Fish. I can do fish. Well, I can do salmon. I grab a basket and head off toward the seafood.

After a particularly irritating trip around the store for salmon fillets, honey, brown sugar, garlic, and some sides, I finally manage to get to the checkout with Mikasa in tow. She’s spent the entire time harassing me about how much I care about how this lunch goes. I’ve tried brushing her off, telling her to fuck off, ignoring her, but she has remained undeterred.

She does allow me to pay in peace though. And we make it all to the way to the car without a single quip. When we clamor into the car, it occurs to me that something seems to be off. When the car doesn’t start immediately, I know. I look over to her to find she’s already watching me, “Levi.”

“What?” the question comes out much harsher than intended and I wince.

She frowns but continues, “He’s happy?”

I don’t have to ask who she means. “I hope so. If he’s ever not, he’s free to leave.”

Her eyes narrow and anger flashes across them, “You wouldn’t care if he left?”

Now it’s my turn to be angry. “Of course I would fucking care. I would care a lot more than I’m willing to admit. But if he really wasn’t happy, who the fuck am I to stop him from leaving?”

Her anger melts into shock. Then, slowly, the smallest smile forms on her lips, “Good.”

“Tch,” I turn forward again, “Are you done? Can we go? I still have a lot to do before your parents show up.”

“Yeah,” she starts the car and pulls out of the lot, a content expression softening her features.

When we pull up in front of the shop, I open my door and turn back to her, “Thanks again.”

I move to get out but she stops me with a hand to my wrist. Her words are quiet, reserved, and almost hidden behind her tiny smile, “She’ll love you.” She releases me and motions for me to get out.

“What’s wrong with you? Mika wasn’t too hard on you, was she?” Eren asks when I come in. Apparently, my face is still frozen in shock from Mikasa’s final comment.

I even out my expression, “Fine. She was fine. I’m fine. You vacuumed.”

He smiles pridefully, “Yup, you told me to, afterall. I also wiped the table and counters down and mopped the kitchen.”

I set the grocery bags down on the table and approach him, wrapping my arms around his neck, “Too bad your parents are coming, I’d like to show you exactly how much I appreciate you right now.”

His eyes widen, “I, uh,” he swallows, “I could call them. Tell them to come later.”

“There is no way you’re getting out of this now, brat. Anyway, you said that this was the only time they’re free.”

He kisses me, “You’re right. Raincheck?”

“Maybe if you’re good.” He grins and ruffles my hair. I glare, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Among other things. So what’s for lunch?”

I pull back and move to put away the groceries I got, “Since you were no help at all, you get to wait and see.”

“Awww,” his whine cuts off suddenly, “Oh shit, I’ll be right back. I left something in the shop I want to show mom.” Before I can even reply, he’s out the door.

When I finish putting the groceries away I glance over to the clock. Shit. They’ll be here pretty soon. I take out some of the things I had just put away and start on the sauce for the salmon.

No sooner than I had combined the ingredients together, the door opens. Eren’s laugh fills the room as well as a higher, softer one. I turn to greet the visitors.

“Levi! Look who I found!” Eren calls as he ushers his parents into the room.

They look nearly the same as they did in the picture I had seen in front of the church. His mother smiles radiantly when she spots me. It’s so like Eren’s it’s uncanny. “You must be Levi,” she approaches me and holds out her hand, “It’s so wonderful to meet you.”

Fuck. My brain spasms. This is Eren’s mother, the woman who raised him. His idol and probably his favorite person. I reach out to return the handshake, “Uh, likewise, Mrs. Jaeger.” I feel like my nervousness is so obvious and it’s making me awkward.

“Oh, please, Carla is just fine.”

Eren’s dad comes up behind his wife and offers his hand as well. I take the hand, “Nice to meet you, Dr. Jaeger.”

He looks me up and down with a critical eye, “You can call me Grisha.”

In an effort to collect myself, I return to the stove. The sauce is just about ready to go on the fillets and I should start the sides.

“Your shop is lovely, Levi.” Carla’s voice floats across the room from where she’s settled at the dining table.

I glance over my shoulder, “I… thank you.” They must’ve gone through it to come up. I’m not really sure why they didn’t just go through the tattoo parlour. She flashes me a kind smile and Eren starts asking about their trip to Germany. I tune them out while I make lunch.

Sauce finished, I pour it liberally over the thawed salmon fillets laying across a baking sheet. I make sure the sticky sauce covers all four fillets entirely. Once they’re all covered, I place the baking sheet into the preheated oven. I set a timer and start on the sides. I decided to go with potatoes and peas to complement the salmon.

I start the potatoes boiling and fill a pot with water to heat up for the peas. When the potatoes have cooked, I drain them and start to mashing. I add some cream, butter, and a bit of cheese in with them to add a little more flavour. By the time I finish mashing, the water for the peas is ready and I add them into it.

Just when I’m turning off the burner on the peas, my timer goes off, indicating the fish it done. I crack open the oven to check and it looks perfect. I grab a fork and check on them and, sure enough, they’re flaky and just right. Carefully, I extract the baking sheet from the oven and place it off to the side. The pan with the peas gets moved to the sink where I drain it of water and add some salt and butter. Once the butter has melted, I deem lunch complete.

Somewhere I have plates that aren’t cheap shit and mismatched. It takes a bit of rummaging, but I find them and plate the food. “Food is ready,” I say, holding two plates and setting them down before Eren’s parents. Eren jumps up and grabs the other two plates for us. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Do you have tea?” Carla asks and I can’t keep the smirk off my face.

“Yeah, I was going to make some for myself. Grisha?” It feels weird calling him by his first name.

“Just water.”

I move to return to the kitchen but Eren stops me when as he sets our plates on the table. “I’ve got it, Levi. Go ahead and start.” I shoot him a pleading look that he completely misses before returning to the table and sitting stiffly.

Sitting at a table with Eren’s parents is one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. Eren’s father has this cold, distant way about him that makes him entirely unapproachable. Differently than me. It’s almost like he’s on another plane of existence that is higher or better than the rest of us. And not in a bad way, it’s not that he does it intentionally. It’s just how he projects himself.

Carla is a perfect balance, down to earth and friendly. But that doesn’t make sitting with her any less nerve wracking. She always has a smile on her face and is warm. She reminds me a little of my own mother and a lot of Eren. But her friendly, airy nature is making me jumpy and twitchy.

“Tell me a bit about yourself, Levi.” Carla’s voice nearly makes me jump out of my chair and my head whips to face her. Twitchy is certainly a word for it.

I shrug, trying to appear at ease, “I’m a fucking florist, there isn’t much to tell.” A moment of excruciating silence follows.

Then I realise what I had just said.

My eyes widen and my mind reels for something, _anything_ , to say to reconcile my awful word choice. I won’t apologise. I can’t honestly say that I didn’t mean it. Or try to claim it was a slip of the tongue. Well, it was, but that’s part of my normal speech patterns. I’m vulgar and generally have no care for what other people think of it. But these are Eren’s _parents_.

Then Carla starts laughing.

It starts as a chuckle and grows rapidly into full out laughter. It’s like bells, soft, gentle, and pleasant. She pulls in short breaths when she can manage and her hand tries to cover her mouth. I’m immediately reminded of when Eren laughs at my horrible sense of humour.

I imagine I’m currently a classic example of the deer in the headlights. My eyes are widened and I am genuinely shocked. I’m now entirely used to Eren laughing at my stupid jokes or vulgar language, but I never thought this would be something that might have actually been inherited. But here I am, sitting witness to Eren’s mother struggling to draw breath as she continues to laugh at my expense.

Eren returns with two mugs held in one hand and water glasses perched precariously in the other. He’s wearing a wide grin that suggests he’s happy his mom is laughing. He clearly missed the conversation or I’m sure he would be more concerned. Carla’s laughter finally begins to subside as a steaming mug of tea is placed in front of her by her son. I barely notice as he slides a mug over to me as well and sets water glasses before himself and his father.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, sitting down in his chair and starting at his fish. It reminds me that I have a plate of largely untouched food in front of me as well. I start picking at the flaky flesh of the salmon.

Carla composes herself before responding, “You never told me he was so funny.”

Eren cocks his head in confusion, “Funny? Levi?” He turns to me, “What did you say?”

“Unfiltered sarcasm,” I grumble. Apparently Eren hears, because now he’s giggling at me.

“You must do pretty well for yourself, selling flowers.”

Grisha’s rough, deep voice cuts Eren’s chuckle short with a choking sound.

“Grisha, _hayatım_ , that’s not polite.” Carla shoots him a private look that is somewhere between chastising and pleading. I recognise the word she uses because that’s what Eren calls me. Probably where he picked it up. I still don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

“I do well enough.” His comment had almost sounded like a challenge and I’m not one to back down.

He sets his gaze on me. It’s hard, slightly cold, but not mean. More evaluating. Like he’s trying to get a read on me and decide something. All I really know about him is what Eren told me about his lack of support for his art, and not much else. I have no idea how he feels about Eren’s choices in partner, other than that it apparently mattered less to him than his art had.

Either to keep his father from speaking again or just to say something, Eren says, “Levi’s French, mom.”

Carla’s eyes light up with the entirely useless information about my heritage, “Really? _Parlez-vous français?_ ”

“Not much more than ‘hello’ and ‘where’s the bathroom’. My parents are fluent, but they never saw reason to teach me.”

“That’s a shame,” she muses.

“Do you speak French, then?” I couldn’t assuage my curiosity, and she had asked me if I spoke it in French, so one can only assume.

“Mom speaks five languages.” Eren says, pride shining in every feature.

She blushes modestly, “More like four and a half. Turkish is my first language. Then English and German. I learned some Japanese when Mikasa came into our family. And French was just something I picked up.”

“Holy shit.” Another poor choice of words. Eren looks at me with a slight frown, but Carla blushes again.

Carla turns to Eren, “ _O çok güzel._ ” It sounds like Turkish.

“ _Evet, bunu ona söyleme._ ” Eren smirks and Carla laughs and I feel like I’m missing something important. Maybe I’ve just been insulted. I really need to invest some time in these languages.

Lunch continues in much the same way, with me feeling unnaturally awkward. Awkward is not something I’m accustomed to feeling. It seems my method of dealing with this new state of being is to revert to excessive vulgarity and sarcasm. Carla asks a lot of questions and I just can’t seem to stop myself from choosing the worst ways to answer them. Grisha stays fairly silent for the entire meal, but he keeps looking at me with a critical expression that I’m not entirely sure how to take. He looks particularly perturbed when I manage to let one of my classic shit jokes into the conversation.

And while I think I have a fairly good read on the slight disapproval and evaluation from Grisha, I’m failing entirely in reading Carla. She constantly smiles, and laughs at the slightest provocation. She never once looks disapprovingly after chastising her husband the first time. It makes it really difficult to tell what she’s thinking. I suppose it’s possible she is genuinely enjoying herself. But looking back on my poor responses, I find that unlikely.

When everyone finishes their meal, I go about collecting up the dishes. “That was a wonderful meal, Levi. Thank you.” Carla’s kind praise takes me somewhat by surprise. I’m at a loss for what to say, so I just nod and continue clearing the table. As I’m walking away from the table, she speaks again, “ _Erenciğim_ , you should take your father down to give him a tour of your shop. I’ll be down soon.”

“What? Dad?” Eren sounds unsure. I glance over my shoulder and see Grisha give him a quick, solitary nod. Then I hear chairs being pushed back from the table as Grisha and Eren get up. “ _Anne demek kalmayın._ ”

While Grisha and Eren leave, I go to the sink to start doing dishes. A few moments later, Carla appears next to me. “Can I help?”

I look over to her and for the first time today manage to speak without being horribly sarcastic and rude, “Sure. I’ll wash, you dry?”

She offers a small smile and moves to stand to my right. We quickly set into a rhythm. She is considerably better at this than Eren, but that is no surprise as he is pretty terrible. When she finishes drying a dish she stacks it neatly off to the side so she can take the next from me. We work in companionable silence and it’s the first time all afternoon I manage to feel comfortable and at ease. And before I know it, the dishes are clean and stacked neatly in a dry pile on the counter.

I take a towel and dry my hands as she does the same with the dish towel, “I can put them away later, thank you.”

“Of course, dear. Thank _you_.”

She giggles a bit when my face contorts into one of utter confusion, “For what?”

Her face get serious and a soft smile graces her features, “For taking care of my Eren. I could always tell by the way he talks about you that he’s crazy about you. And I’m happy for him. But now I’ve been able to see how much you care about him.” She leans over and hugs me. “So thank you. For making Eren happy.”

Her arms are still wrapped around me and I am completely frozen in shock. My arms hang limply at my sides and she squeezes me in her embrace. I was so worried this whole time that she wouldn’t like me. I’m ornery, considerably older, not very nice, and I come off as cold and distant. But, thinking about it, mine and Eren’s relationship seems to mirror theirs fairly well. She’s this bright ray of sunshine to his detached nature, but they seem to work well enough.

Finally, I bring my arms up to return the hug and she pulls back. “Now you tell me if your parents are ever in town, I’d love to meet them.”

“Of course.” She starts walking toward the door, but before she makes it there, I say, “Thank you.”

She turns back to me with wide, surprised eyes and it’s so like looking at Eren that it’s uncanny and I smile a little. “Whatever for?”

“For raising him. For supporting him. For being his favourite person.” That’s the sappiest I’ve been to anyone that isn’t Eren ever. Probably sappier than I’ve been to Eren, too.

“You love him.” It’s not a question, but I nod anyway. She smiles and something glints in her eye. Then she turns and leaves without a word. Leaving me standing in the middle of the room alone.

Several minutes later, this is how Eren finds me.

“Oh please tell me she didn’t do something totally embarrassing,” he says when he sees me staring blankly at the door as he comes back in.

I blink heavily and focus in on him, “No. I’m just… No.”

He approaches me and takes my hands and it’s requiring monumental effort to stay focused on him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I refocus one last time and then lose myself in his eyes, “Your mother likes me.”

“Of course she does!”

He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. I take one of my hands back and flick his forehead, “I was stressed as shit that she would hate me.”

He grins, “You didn’t have to worry about that. I knew she’d love you.”

I frown at him, then address a topic I’ve been curious about since he left, “So your dad…”

He tries and fails to suppress his smile, “Yeah.”

\--

“Are you ready to go?”

Eren’s sitting at my desk on my computer playing some video game he convinced me to put on there. “Go where?”

“To get a tree,” I throw his coat at him. With December came the first snow and now it is frigidly cold out and snow and slush and ice cover every surface.

He twists in the chair to face me, pulling the coat off his head where it had landed. “We’re getting a tree? But you hate Christmas.”

“Yes, but you love it. And we’re going to have everyone here so we can’t really not have one. So get up.”

He turns back to the screen to save and quit his game. “Yeah, two seconds.”

“That’s a lie if I ever heard one.”

\--

“Do you even have any ornaments?” Eren says, reaching around the back of the try to fluff it to his satisfaction. I’m practically twitching at all of the fallen needles already. This is going to be hell.

“No. I figured you would.”

He extracts himself from behind the tree and brushes himself off. Needles fall to the carpet beneath him. “Maybe. I think Mika has a lot of them though. She might give some of them up. We could always go shopping.”

“Up to you. Decorating is your job. So is taking it all down. I’m tolerating it for now.”

“Awww. Alright. I think I have lights and a few ornaments. Maybe a star. I can find some garland.”

“Don’t make a mess.” He finally looks down at the floor and sees the needles he’s spread over the living room.

“I’ll clean it all up.”

\--

“Why is there a video of a fake fireplace on the television?”

Eren turns around on the couch to look back at me, “It’s romantic. Come sit with me.”

I scoff and make a big show of being inconvenienced, but move to sit on the couch with him anyway. He knows I’m just being grumbly if his wide smile is anything to say. As soon as I sink down onto the couch he pulls me against him and I curl up under his arm. It’s really not unlike any other time we cuddle on the couch, but with how cold it’s been lately, the image of dancing flames on the screen is oddly comforting. The room is dark, the only light supplied by the digital flames and the windows are dark from the late hour. He’s right. It’s romantic.

“Ready for tomorrow?”

Tomorrow. Christmas. Right. “No.”

His arm tightens around my shoulder, “It’ll be fine. And it’ll just be Mika, Hanji, Erwin, and Armin. Oh and Armin’s girlfriend. Ymir said she’s got something planned with Christa and ‘can’t be assed’ and my parents both have to work.” He air quotes with his free hand when he quotes Ymir. I smirk at her phrasing.

“And we already knew Jean will be too busy trying to get laid to bother joining us. Too bad about your parents. Would have been nice to see them.”

He hums thoughtfully, “Yeah. Mom said she’ll come by with presents when she gets a chance. Could be two days, could be two months.” I nuzzle my head further into his chest and he kisses my hair.

We stay like this for a long time, probably hours, just enjoying the other’s company. At some point, Eren’s breathing evens out and I shift slightly to find him sleeping. There’s a tiny smile pulling at his lips and he looks so peaceful. I don’t think I will ever get tired of this face. He’s beautiful.

“I love you, Eren,” I whisper into the silent air. Then I curl back up and let myself fall asleep as well.

\--

The shrill sound of my phone’s ringtone wakes me up unpleasantly. When I go to reach for it I find myself immobilised by gangly arms pinning me uncomfortably between the arm of the couch and Eren’s body. I squirm and manage to extract my arm and nudge the sleeping form none too gingerly. When he wakes up enough to shift away a bit, I manage to get my phone out of my pocket and answer it just before it stops ringing.

“Levi, _bonjour, fils!_ ”

“ _Maman?_ ” I mutter sleepily?

“ _Oui_ , how are you, dear? You never call us.”

“What time is it?” I ask, rubbing at my eyes when Eren’s squirming releases my other hand.

“It’s about three here. That would be... six where you are?” she asks like it’s totally normal to call someone at six in the morning.

“ _Maman_ , I just woke up. Why are you calling so early?”

Eren shifts again and sits up, smashing the heels of his hands into his eyes. Then he looks at me and cocks his head.

“To wish you a merry Christmas and a happy birthday, of course! It’s a very special day, and I’ve been waiting hours to be able to call.”

“Thank you, _Maman_. Merry Christmas.” Eren mouths, ‘your mom?’ to me and I nod. He smiles and waves, silently telling me to tell her hello. “Eren says hello and merry Christmas.”

“Oh! Hello, Eren, dear! Do you two have any plans for today?”

I run my hand through my hair and feel it catch on some tangles, “Hanji and Erwin and some of Eren’s friends are coming over.”

I hear shuffling, “That’s great! Don’t be too rude to your guests, now. Oh, your father is here. Do you want to say hi?”

“I guess.” She knows I don’t mean anything bad by my dismissiveness, it’s just how I am.

Some quiet sounds over the line indicate she’s handing off the phone. The deep, gruff voice of my father comes through next, “Happy birthday, Levi. And merry Christmas.”

“Thanks, _papa_. Merry Christmas.”

There’s more shuffling and I breath a sigh of relief. He’s moving away from my mother. “You just woke up?” I make an affirmative sound. “Then I’ll let you go, I told her to wait. Have a good day, and call your mother more often. She worries.”

I smile slightly. I’m grateful for his getting me out of the phone call, but I also know he’s right. I should call them more often. They’ve only barely heard about Eren because I call them so infrequently and it’s been five months. Guilt twinges in my abdomen, “I will, I promise. I’ll call you for the new year?”

“That would be good. _Au revoir_ , Levi.”

“ _Au revoir, papa._ ”

I hit the end button and breathe out a heavy sigh. I collapse back into the couch. “It is ass o’clock in the morning.”

Eren laughs then leans into me. “I’m going back to sleep,” he murmurs through a yawn.

I push him back up, “No you aren’t. Hanji and my mother are weirdly connected. Therefore, Hanji is incredibly likely to-”

I’m cut short by the door being swung open and the very person I was speaking of marches through with an exhausted looking Erwin on their heels. “Speak of the fucking devil.”

“And they shall appear? Aww, were you talking about me, Levi?”

I look to Eren to see his eyes wide with shock and allow myself a short laugh. “I told you.”

“That’s amazing, how do you do that?”

Hanji cocks their head, “Do what?”

Erwin, struggling to keep his eyes open, yawns as he responds, “I’m sure they’re referring to your uncanny ability to show up when Levi’s mother calls him.”

Hanji’s head cocks to the other side in slight confusion, “Fascinating. I should call her and see if I can get her to get some brain scans done. Maybe we were sisters in a past life or something.”

I roll my eyes, “It is way too fucking early for this. Why are you here?”

They perk up, remembering what their purpose was, “Oh!” They dig through the bag they’re holding, “I brought mistletoe! Merry Christmas!”

Eren winces next to me. He had spent days painstakingly decorating the living room. The tree is covered in colorful lights and garland, with a light up star gracing the top and a few ornaments scattered on the boughs. There are strings of lights lining the windows and the kitchen counter. In some effort to appeal to me, which I appreciate but the effect is lost on me, he put out some poinsettia and hung some holly. The one thing he stayed very clear of was mistletoe. I never said anything against it, but he seemed to have deemed it off limits. I honestly don’t really mind the plant, or the meaning behind it. Especially knowing I have Eren, instead of Hanji trying to push me under it with anyone who would cooperate.

“And you needed to come here at six o’clock in the goddamn morning to put it up? Give me your key.”

Hanji holds a hand to their heart in mock hurt, “I will not hand over the key! Anyway, we came to help cook, too. Right, Erwin?” He mumbles sleepily something that must be affirmation. For the first time, Hanji actually looks and Eren and me, really looks. “Did we… interrupt something?” they ask, a little too gleefully.

“Not anything you’re thinking about, you shitty pervert. We _did_ , however, just wake up.” I look down at my messy appearance. I’m still wearing the shirt I was wearing yesterday and a pair of too-big sweatpants. Probably Eren’s. “I haven’t even showered yet,” I mutter, more to myself than anything.

“We can wait!” Hanji is far too excited considering how early it is.

“Fine, whatever. Make Erwin some coffee, he looks like he’s going to pass out. There’s some up by the tea. It’s instant, but it’ll get the job done. Eren?” Hanji immediately starts off toward the cabinets and Erwin sits heavily at the table. Eren looks at me in question. I raise an eyebrow and start with a low voice, “We have a lot to do before people get here, it’ll save time if we go together.”

He smirks and is suddenly considerably more awake after that.

Our shower is disappointingly innocent. Neither of us really want to do anything with Hanji and Erwin sitting in the living room. Once clean, dressed, and somewhat dry, we return to our guests. By now, Erwin is partway into a mug of coffee that is no doubt not his first and Hanji is sipping a revolting concoction of sugary tea.

“Who’s hungry?” when three hands all go up simultaneously, I sigh and start cracking eggs and pulling out bread to toast.

With full bellies and more caffeine than is probably healthy in Erwin and Eren’s cases, we find ourselves enjoying the quiet Christmas morning. Even though I despise the holiday, I have to admit these moments are pleasant and not vomit inducing. I think it might have something to do with a certain bratty kid with different coloured eyes, but what do I know?

Then Erwin ruins it, “So when is the rest of the party arriving?”

“Never, preferably.” I remark.

Eren shoots me an exasperated glare then turns to Erwin, “We said dinner would be at one, so probably a bit before that. Armin has a thing about punctuality, so they’ll probably be on the early side. What time is it now?”

Hanji glances to their watch, “About eight thirty. Time to start cooking?”

“Unfortunately,” I drag myself out of my chair and begin taking out what I’ll need to start cooking. Hanji and Erwin follow and I start doling out tasks. Eren gets to vacuuming needles from the carpet and cleaning. Regen makes an appearance in the kitchen once before I chase him out and he decides he’s safer on his bed.

Cooking takes several hours. But by the end, we have mashed potatoes, green beans, biscuits, corn, cranberry sauce, mixed vegetables, and four different kinds of pies. As a main dish, there’s a honey baked ham roasting in the oven. Since I have impeccable timing, the ham will be finished cooking right around one, just in time for dinner to be served.

At twelve, there is a knock on the door.

Eren bounds to answer it, acting the excited puppy dog. Mikasa and Armin and another girl that must be Armin’s girlfriend come in together with the chill of the fresh snow falling clinging to their forms. Eren takes their coats and introduces Mikasa and the other girl to Hanji and Erwin (Armin has already met them when he went to play chess with Erwin. I heard it was an intense game and they have a healthy rivalry now). He introduces the new girl, Annie, who I recognise slightly from the tattoo shop. She’s small, angry, and blonde and I’m actually surprised that her and Armin are together. She’s quieter and colder than I am.

As much as I actually enjoy all of the people that are now present in the apartment, entertaining five guests at once is overwhelming and it doesn’t take long before I find myself sticking to the outskirts of conversations or hiding in the kitchen to check on the food. It doesn’t help that every few moments I’m reminded of what holiday it is by conversation and the cheery music playing from the television. And Hanji is constantly trying to play matchmaker under the mistletoe. Eren and I get pushed under it several times until I snap at them violently enough that they give up on us. Armin and Annie are the next targets. Annie actually blushes the first time and Armin blushes every time.

Once, Hanji makes the mistake of pushing Mikasa under it with Erwin. While Erwin is used to their antics and more than willing to play along with a kiss on the cheek, Mikasa is less amicable about it. That’s how Hanji learned that Mikasa is aromantic and asexual, and certainly not a fan of physical affection.

Not that Hanji leaves themselves out of the mistletoe fun. With the exception of Mikasa, Hanji kisses every person in our apartment before food is served. Impressive, considering that was only about an hour for them to work with. Even I was subjected to a sloppy kiss from them, not that it was a new experience, but it was still unfortunate.

Finally, the ham finishes cooking and I set the table. Our little table is much too small for the vast amount of food I’ve cooked, but I somehow make due. Chalk it up to excellent spatial relation. It’s also far too small for the seven chairs we’ve stuffed around it, but we all jam together around the small table, shoulders touching unavoidably.

The meal is boisterous, many happy voices talking excitedly. I receive several compliments on the food throughout. Everyone is smiling and enjoying themselves and I can just feel myself sinking, but no one seems to notice. Eren keeps glancing at me with a cheerful smile, but otherwise, my quiet goes largely unnoticed. Everyone is too busy enjoying the food and company. And honestly, that’s entirely alright. I’m glad everyone else is having fun, and seeing Eren so happy gives me the chance to smile every now and then. So every time he turns his smile to me, I offer a bit of upturn back. Though as the afternoon goes on, his glances become more frequent and the smile less brilliant.

The moment everyone finishes eating and scatters around hugging their overstuffed bellies, Eren starts doling out coffee and tea. Despite protests of full stomachs, everyone accepts. Talk becomes much more subdued and the dominating sound becomes the soft Christmas music.

Eren makes his rounds to everyone and as they finish their drinks they all make half-assed excuses to leave. Not that I’m complaining. The room clears quickly and I finally feel like I can breath again. Eren collects mugs from where our guests had left them, “You look tired, why don’t you take a nap. I’ll take care of cleaning up.”

I look over to him and he’s looking at me with so much love it nearly bowls me over. “Yeah, come join me when you’re done?”

“Sure,” he flashes a smile at me before turning back to the sink to start washing the mugs and piles of dishes we created over dinner. I get up and move to the bedroom. I’m more tired than I thought because it takes almost no time before sleep overtakes me.

\--

An hour and a half later, I wake groggy and alone. The lights are off and the blinds drawn, casting the room in shadow. Eren must have come in at some point then, because I didn’t do that. I draw the blinds and see the sky is nearly black. Stupid winter and stupid short days. And stupid Christmas and stupid birthday that no one seemed to care about.

I leave the room in a considerably worse mood that I likely should have. I hate this fucking holiday. It’s so shitty.

I’m stop short when I come into the living room.

The space is disorientingly normal. There isn’t a single coloured light or string of tinsel. Not garlands wrapping around anything. There’s soft music playing, but it’s just normal classical music, no Christmas music. All the plants are missing as well. Even the tree is gone.

Maybe I slept longer than I thought.

“You’re awake!” Eren calls from the kitchen.

“How long was I asleep?”

He finishes drying off the dish he had been washing and comes over to me, “Not long. Did you sleep well?”

“Not really,” I reach up to rub at my neck, “Where did everything go?”

He glances around then rubs the back of his neck nervously, “I put it away.”

“Why?”

He shuffles his feet and looks down. I don’t really understand why he’s so nervous. “You hated it.” Then he shrugs, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“You loved it.” I tell him, staring at him dumbly.

“Well, yeah. But it was making you uncomfortable.” He looks up and meets my eyes, his full of concern.

“What?” My mind isn’t working right.

He laughs then pulls me into him, “As you would say, you looked like you were constipated all day. But it’s all over now. Let’s just forget about Christmas. Anyway, I have something for you.”

I raise an eyebrow and he smiles, leading me back into the bedroom. He sits me on the bed and leaves a soft kiss on my lips before going to the closet. He comes back with one of his big sketchbooks held protectively in his arms.

The bed dips when he sits next to me and he lays the sketchbook across his lap reverently. His hands run over the cover nervously. I wait quietly while he gathers himself. He must be really worried about this if he’s this nervous to show me something in his sketchbook.

“I, uh… I drew you something. You don’t have to do anything with it, if you don’t want. But maybe you will.” He’s talking nonsense now. Still, I wait. “Anyway, here.”

He flips the book open and pushes it into my lap.

The picture is astounding.

It’s a sketch like any of his others, but he’s added color and depth, something he doesn’t normally do in his pencil drawings. A pair of white wings are folded along the edge, as if coming out of someone’s shoulder blades. They look slightly ragged and not perfect, like they’re used and have seen the world. Wrapped through the feathers is ivy, but not in a confining way. More like it’s caressing the wings, keeping them together, strengthening them. Between the wings is a mass of flowers. I can pick out gloxinia, aster, orchid, peony, primrose, and jonquil. All of which have similar meaning and it’s making my eyes misty. Finally, I see the two butterflies among the petals. One is largely black with dark steely blue accents, fascinated by the flowers before it. The other has one green wing and one yellow and it is focused on the blue one.

One of my hands reaches out and caresses the multicoloured butterfly, “This is… I don’t… Eren.” I can’t seem to form a complete sentence to express how beautiful this is and how much it means to me.

When I look over at him, he’s watching me with his lower lip caught between his teeth. His eyes are big and nervous and it’s just making it even harder to find words. He’s growing more and more concerned as the moments continue to pass in silence and we just stare at each other. He seems unwilling to break the quiet and I’m completely unable to.

Finally, I look back down at the page, willing the excessive overflow of emotion away, and then set it aside. When I look back up he’s even more terrified than before. I lean forward and tell him how I’m feeling in the best way I know how. His lips are unresponsive at first, but after a moment he melts into me and makes a small noise I can only describe as relief.

We pull pack breathless, and Eren finally finds his voice, “Do you like it?”

I set him with a look that questions his sanity. “No, I kissed you because I hated it,” I say, completely flat.

For the briefest of moments, he doesn’t catch my sarcasm and he looks like he’s about to cry. But then it changes as he realises that I’m deflecting, avoiding giving him the compliment he deserves. He grins.

He really does deserve the compliment. “I love it, Eren. It’s… beautiful. Thank you.”

Now he really does look like he’s going to cry, but not from sadness. The tears well up and spill over silently as he smiles his dopey smile at me. He leans in to me but I push him back. “You’ll get gross snot all over me if you kiss me right now. Not a chance.”

He whines, but his smile never falters. “Happy birthday, Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tattoo is based off of [this](http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/250/c/6/wings_flowers_back_piece_by_tattoosavage-d6lehej.png) image by [this](tattoosavage.deviantart.com/art/Wings-Flowers-Back-Piece-398744731) artist (who Buggy_Love found for me thank you so much, sweetie!)
> 
> Also, I hope it's clear that even though Levi said he's pretty useless at French, he did pick some stuff up as a kid and his family uses a lot of terms of endearment and familial terms in French when talking to one another.


	10. Purple Hyacinth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Purple hyacinth mean please forgive me, I am sorry, and sorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I've been dying to post this chapter so it's coming at you early. Don't thank me till you finish reading it. ALSO, you may have noticed there's a final chapter count now. Yup, next week is the final chapter. I'm kinda sad that this is ending so soon. Originally, this chapter was wayyyy longer but I cut it down because this was the perfect place to end it so apologies for this hella short chapter. This was one of the hardest parts for me to write and keep in character (although the next chapter is even worse), so I really appreciate hearing your thoughts.
> 
> In case you missed it, this is a series now. But really just because there's one companion piece that takes place in between chapters 9 and 10. It's totally not necessary to read, but it's just fluffy and smutty. So you might enjoy it. 
> 
> EDIT: UM THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! This has over 300 kudos, over 4500 hits, and over 80 bookmarks and that's NUTS. You guys are the best, truly. Love all my readers so so much.
> 
> SO, big thank you to [Renee](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com), as always, for her wonderful betaing and helping me decide how evil to be. Also, if you have next to no life and could function as an emergency beta for me, please let me know. Renee gets busy sometimes and can't read all the shit I write when I need her to so if you wanna read my very unpolished drafts... lemme know.
> 
> Finally, I have a [tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com).

Paranoia is like the worst kind of flower. Poisonous and invasive but too appealing on the surface to just leave it alone. It draws you in with the promise of beauty, of safety, but then it grabs hold. Plants its seed. Grows inside before it can be noticed. By the time it makes itself known, it’s too late. It’s permeated every crevice, every space, every vein, and every organ. It can’t be killed easily, it’s a hardy little thing. It takes guts, effort, requires the base to be found and crushed so the rest will can follow. It’s dangerous and it can be deadly.

But that’s a lot of poetic bullshit.

I don’t think I’m a particularly paranoid person. I can be suspicious, but I don’t think the government is watching my internet history of bulk flower shops and porn, don’t believe in alien conspiracies or any of that. I like to think I’m fairly normal in that respect.

But after a year and a half of living with Eren, he starts acting… different. And that starts to freak me out.

It starts shortly after his twenty-seventh birthday. Eren starts taking longer hours, whether he has appointments or not. And that’s fine. He can do what he wants. It doesn’t bother me.

Until it continues for several weeks.

And gets worse the whole time.

Sometimes I’ll go over to the shop to visit. Every so often, Eren will be free for a while and he’ll actually be present or we’ll go get lunch together. Most of the time, though, Ymir shoo’s me out claiming Eren is busy with someone in the back. While this isn’t particularly unusual, it is when she demands I leave every time I try to come it.

Eren stops visiting me at work in mid April.

But, again, that’s all fine. Eren is his own person and we can’t depend on each other constantly. Sometimes we do our own thing and only see each other at night when we collapse into bed together.

And then that starts becoming less frequent as well.

I understand that Eren is considerably more social than I am. And it isn’t that he’s closer to his friends than I am to mine, but more that he’s just more accustomed to being around them than I am. I prefer to be alone and if my friends come by, I’ll entertain them and I’ll enjoy it well enough. Eren needs more than that, so he visits Mikasa and Armin fairly frequently. But he doesn’t usually spend the night. He most often goes over in the mornings since I work and otherwise he’s bored in the apartment.

During my third night in a row of laying in bed alone in a quiet apartment (he even took Regen with him), I start to really think about it. And that’s when it starts to get dangerous.

I try to think of any number of totally innocent reasons Eren would be essentially avoiding me. The only somewhat plausible thing I can come up with is the simple want to be around his friends more, but that doesn’t explain the longer hours at Dancing Titan. Plus, my mind keeps coming back to the one thing I don’t want to consider.

What if I’m not good enough?

I have never cared what people thought of me before. I’ve never worried about being ‘good enough’ because if I wasn’t good enough for someone then that was their problem. I’m not apologetic about who I am and I certainly won’t change just to satisfy someone else’s whims.

But Eren is different. Eren actually matters. He’s found every weak point in my carefully constructed walls and shattered them. He’s dug into the very center of my soul and found a place there. And that gives him a power I don’t hand out easily, if ever.

To be fair, I can’t fault him if he doesn’t want me anymore. I’m old, comparatively at least. I have a horrendous personality, though Eren has proven time after time that he finds it at least amusing if not endearing. I’m eccentric and demand cleanliness. That is easy to get tired of. It’s happened before.

What if I’m just not enough?

Not enough to satisfy him, not enough to keep him happy, not enough to take care of him.

What if he wants someone else?

It would kill me. It would tear me apart if he left. And it would leave me hurt and broken if he left for someone else. I have no doubt I’d recover. But I don’t think I’d ever find anyone else. I’m not sure I’d want to. And I don’t know how I’d get through the aftermath. Our shops are next door, there is no avoiding him indefinitely.

I shake my head. I’m thinking like it’s already happened. Nothing has happened. Nothing probably will happen. I’m thinking stupid shit because I’ve gotten insecure in my old age. Eren’s fine, he’s not leaving, he’s not avoiding me. He’ll probably be back tomorrow and he’ll smile at me and I’ll forget all of these shitty thoughts.

Except he doesn’t.

Saturday morning comes and fades into afternoon and there’s still no sign of Eren. I spend the day bouncing between activities. I clean, despite the spotlessness of the apartment, especially since Regen isn’t around to add his excessive fur in. I read, but I can’t seem to focus on the pages, so I mostly skim and end up rereading a lot. I put in some orders for some late spring flowers I’m running low on. I smoke, nearly emptying a pack in a few hours.

None of these things do a very good job of keeping my mind off of my musings from the previous night. The seed of paranoia has been planted. I reevaluate every interaction Eren has had with another man in the last several weeks. A very unhealthy distaste for Jean forms in my mind after I think about how frequently he’s been in the shop lately. I know he’s been with Marco for over a year now. But who says I’m being even remotely rational?

When the living room starts to darken with dusk, days only just getting longer, I finally decide it’s about time to start being worried. Worried about Eren not being home. I already built up plenty of worry about what sort of things he’s been up to lately. I take out my phone and find Eren’s contact. A picture from his birthday last year of the two of us comes up as I hit send. I hate that picture. But he looks so happy.

“Levi?” Eren’s voice sounds warm and familiar through the receiver.

I keep my voice calm and even, despite the raging turmoil crashing through my stomach, “Are you ever coming home, brat?”

“On my way now. Five minutes.”

“Hurry up.” I hit the end button without waiting for a response and pace around the living room.

True to his word, the door opens five minutes later. Regen bounds in first, running up to me for attention. I grant him a few pats on his head before he gets bored and goes around sniffing everything in sight as if he’s never been here. I guess it has been a few days.

Eren drops a backpack on the floor near the door and comes up to me, placing a quick kiss to my cheek as he blazes by into the kitchen. “How are Mikasa and Armin?”

“Huh?” He glances back briefly, “Oh, they’re great. Armin and Annie say hi.” He’s distant and distracted and it feeds my flowers of paranoia.

“But not Mikasa.”

He grunts in response and shuts the fridge, “Have you eaten?”

“Yeah, just canned soup. There’s more in the cupboard.” I move to sit on the couch.

He’s silent while he opens a can of soup and dumps it into a bowl. Not a sound comes from him while the microwave runs and he stares into it as it turns the bowl in circles. He doesn’t even say anything as he brings his bowl over to the couch to sit next to me, which usually would earn a complaint from me, but I stay silent, not willing to break the tension he’s created. Or I’ve imagined. Either way.

Halfway through his bowl he casts a sideways glance my way with an eyebrow raised, “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m fucking peachy.”

He maintains his position, spoon halfway to his mouth, for a few seconds. Then he drops the spoon down, causing a few drops to spill out of the bowl, and leans forward to put the bowl down on the coffee table. He turns completely to face me, “Levi. What’s wrong?”

The concern he has would normally melt me, but today it just looks patronising. And that pisses me off. “You tell me.”

He looks completely shocked, but something in his eyes tells me he’s hiding something too, “What do you mean?”

I glare and practically snarl at him, “What the fuck have you been doing lately? I haven’t seen you in days, Ymir won’t let me in the shop. What the hell, Eren?”

He looks utterly terrified now. He’s obviously hiding something, he’s never been good at hiding his emotions. “I…” Then the anger sets in and flashes red through his eyes, “I haven’t done anything! Are you accusing me of something?”

He’s too defensive and I’ve let the paranoia take to close a hold on me, “Maybe I should be.” There’s far too much venom in my voice and a part of me regrets the words as they tumble from my lips.

He looks horrified, indignant, and defensive. The pain in his eyes from my implied accusation makes my chest tighten painfully. This isn’t right. I _know_ it isn’t. But I’m hurt, and that’s not something I’m used to being.

“What are you trying to say?” His voice is quiet and the hurt cracks it at the end.

I stand and run my hands through my hair in frustration, “I don’t know, Eren. But if you’re hiding something, just fucking tell me.”

He avert his eyes and I barely hear the words, “I can’t.”

I round on him, all fury and anger and hurt, “What the fuck could possibly be going on with you that you couldn’t tell me? Why?”

His eyes flit up to me. He looks so small. He’s not even mad anymore. He just looks hurt and small and pitiful. And it’s breaking my heart. “I- it’s- I can’t… I just can’t tell you. Trust me.” He finally meets my eyes at those last two words. He’s pleading, desperate. His eyes are swimming, tears threatening to spill.

“I do.” The hope that shines through his teary eyed smile is like a knife in my heart, but it doesn’t stop me from continuing, “But it doesn’t look like you trust me.”

He cracks.

I watch as his smile falters and the tears begin to spill over. It’s like the thinnest glass has been holding him together and I just shattered it. He falls apart on the couch. His whole form droops and his head lands in his hands. It sounds like he’s trying to say something but he can’t get the words passed the tears.

I can’t stay here. I can’t watch him fall apart. I walk away and I don’t think Eren even notices I’ve left. I go to the bedroom, but it only takes me a few moments of his lingering scent to realise I can’t stay here either. I grab some clothes and go to the bathroom. A shower might help.

The water is hot and seers at my skin. It helps clear my addled head some.

I can’t believe I said that to him. I can’t say I didn’t mean it, but it was still not okay. But then again. Maybe it was exactly what he needed to hear. Sometimes he needs the harshest truths to see he’s being wrong.

He was so broken. I’ve never seen him like that. I’ve seen ghosts of it, when he talks about Thomas. But usually, his anger overtakes his hurt. Usually when he’s thinking about something unpleasant, he gets hard. But any walls he’s built around the pain, I just disintegrated.

But was I really wrong? He’s been acting beyond strange. And he even admitted he’s hiding something. Although, he still wouldn’t admit to what. What am I supposed to think? He’s been avoiding me, staying away, barely speaking to me when we were together. And it kills me to think it of him, but what if he _is_ being unfaithful.

My fist hits the porcelain tiles of the shower wall painfully. I’m hurt and angry and nothing makes sense. He’s never once shown an interest in someone else. He’s never given me cause to even question before. What could have possessed me to think that he would ever actually do that. He couldn’t. I have to believe that.

I step out of the shower after turning off the water and dress slowly. I’m not quite ready to face Eren yet. I’ve resolved that I need to believe in him, but I’m still angry. I don’t want to take it out on him again, either.

Finally, I step out of the steamy bathroom. Immediately, something feels off, but I ignore it. The bedroom is empty, so I just drop my dirty clothes into the laundry basket and go out to the living room.

But the living room is empty too.

Eren’s bag is gone, Regen, too, and he’s nowhere to be found. I take a cursory glance around the dark room and a small flash of yellow on the fridge catches my attention. I walk over and realise it’s a sticky note. Eren’s messy handwriting is scrawled across the bottom with purple pen and the curled petals of a hyacinth is drawn over the small square of paper in the same pen. An apology.

_I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am truly truly sorry.
> 
> As always, feedback is very much appreciated. I seriously love hearing from you guys. Like I will give you my skype and you can yell at me or headcanon with me or whatever. But yeah. Um. Yeah.


	11. White Myrtle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White myrtle symolises love, but it has another meaning in Hebrew culture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit guys. This is the last chapter. I'm kind of emotional right now. This has been a journey. But I'm not gonna spew a bunch right now, I'll wait till the end. For now, enjoy.
> 
> Thanks, as always, to [Renee](http://randompinkbunny9.tumblr.com) who REALLY helped with this part because I had some serious characterisation issues. Also, she's on twitch and she plays stuff sometimes and you should check her out if you're into that kind of stuff.
> 
> I have a [Tumblr](http://playingchello.tumblr.com).
> 
> EDIT: OHMIGOSHOHMIGOSHOHMIGOSH!!!!! Please look at [this](http://playingchello.tumblr.com/post/108959113680/ciarafael-a-sketch-of-the-drawing-eren-draws) art by [Ciarafael](http://ciarafael.tumblr.com) of the Christmas present because it's gorgeous and THOSE BUTTERFLIES ARE THE BEST THING EVER!!!!!!

Erwin’s apartment is a place I rarely find myself, but on Monday night, with still no sign of or word from Eren, it’s the only place I can think to go.

“Thanks,” I mutter when he sets a mug of my favorite tea down in front of me. He always has it on hand even though he hates it. That’s one of the things about Erwin, he’s observant and considerate. He knows what people need.

And he doesn’t speak while I sit at his table and sip at the too-hot tea. He just sits down across from me, coffee in hand, and waits. He keeps his eyes on me, catching every movement I make.

“We got in a fight.”

He turns his lips up in sympathy, “You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

He doesn’t ask. It’s his way. He sits patiently until I’m ready, accepting whatever I’m willing to give him and not demanding anything more. “I haven’t seen him since Saturday. I don’t even know where he is.”

“He’s with Armin.” I’m not surprised. That’s what I had assumed when he didn’t come back that night. At least he’s not with someone else. Armin and Mikasa would house him indefinitely if that’s what he needs. I hope it isn’t.

It takes me a while to say something again. I don’t know how much I want to admit. I know I’m being stupid. But Erwin probably won’t see it that way. Or he will, but he won’t be rude about it. He isn’t me.

“He’s hiding something from me. He won’t tell me what.”

Erwin cocks his head, “Maybe there’s a good reason for that.”

I stare at him in horror. Isn’t he supposed to be on my side? But no, Erwin doesn’t do sides. He’s just annoyingly smart and ahead of everyone else. He’s probably figured out everything I’m about to say already. “Or maybe, he just doesn’t trust me.”

Erwin looks at me with his calculating gaze, “You don’t really think that.”

I return his gaze, “No. Maybe. I don’t fucking know anymore.” I pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers in frustration. Then I turn my head away and down and mutter, “I think he’s cheating on me.”

Erwin tries to suppress a snort and I turn my head to glare at him. “I think you’re looking for a way out.”

This gets my attention. My head snaps back to him, “What?” I snarl at him.

He smirks, clearly pleased with himself and not at all bothered by my reaction. “You don’t think he’s cheating and you don’t think he doesn’t trust you. You’re grasping at straws. I’m surprised it took this long, Levi.” His expression softens and he leans in toward me, “You don’t do people.” I snort. He smiles briefly before going serious again, “You push people away. It’s a defense mechanism. The second you get worried, scared, or heaven forbid _committed_ , you bolt. In this case, bolting involves coming up with reasons why you should leave. You did it to me and Hanji, too. But we got passed it.”

I what? I don’t know what he’s talking about. I met both of them through a stupid intro class I was forced to take in college. It was a bullshit class required by the school as some orientation thing. Some transition for high school and make friends type thing. And yeah, at first, I totally alienated them. But they were… persistent. And when I finally stopped trying to ignore them, we became friends over our collective social awkwardness and distaste for the class. And we’ve been friends ever since. I’ve never… Unless…

Oh.

Sophomore year Hanji and I were celebrating the end of finals with far too much alcohol. Erwin had already gone home since he had finished his last final two days earlier than us. Due to our distinct lack of people skills and my further dislike of being around them, we stayed in my dorm room. My roommate at the time, who I absolutely despised, had finished finals days before and gone home. At the time, Hanji hadn’t yet learned how to deal with alcohol in any sense and I wasn’t too much better. After both of us were significantly drunk, something happened and next thing I knew, we were naked in my bed.

The next morning I had woken up with a decidedly nasty hangover and a naked Hanji in my bed. I am not proud of how much that terrified me. I left. Walked out. It was my dorm, but I just left. I went home and avoided my phone and computer. I wouldn’t even talk to Erwin because I know they told him and I couldn’t face it. It wasn’t until Erwin called my house phone (how he got my number I still don’t know) that I was tricked into actually talking to them. Hanji was upset that I had left and terrified that _they_ had taken advantage of _me_ , but they didn’t give a shit about anything else. I don’t even count that as an incident. I was dumb, I hurt my friends, I avoided them, and then they made me face it and it was better.

This isn’t anything like that. I’m not avoiding Eren, he’s avoiding me. And I didn’t create any of these problems. I’m not trying to leave. I want him to come back and I want to fix this.

Right?

Erwin’s watching me with something akin to the way a parent watches a child they’re trying to teach a lesson. He’s waiting for me to figure it out and have my ‘aha’ moment. But I’m not him and it takes me a little longer.

“I don’t want out.”

He smiles, “I know that, but does Eren?”

I let my head fall into my hands, “Fuck.”

Erwin’s chair scrapes on the wood floor as he stands. He comes around and pats my back before taking my mug. “You guys are good together. And you give him more credit than you think. But you hurt him, and it’s not going to be easy to apologise. Especially for you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, asshole?” I complain.

He chuckles, “You don’t do apologies. But you better make this one good.”

“Yeah.”

\--

Wednesday afternoon comes around and once the shop quiets down I start taking off my smock to head next door.

“I wouldn’t go next door if I were you.” Christa’s voice calls from a display.

“Why?”

“Ymir has a baseball bat and a pool ball behind the desk and has been given the order to fire at will.” She doesn’t look disturbed by this fact. I am kind of hating Ymir right now. “Plus, Eren’s not in today.”

I sigh and tie my smock back up.

When we close, I start the trek to Armin and Mikasa’s apartment.

I should have called ahead, made sure Mikasa wasn’t there. My foresight is a little secondary on my mind right now, though. So when I knock on the door and hear movement on the other side, I’m not really expecting the reaction I get.

The door swings open quickly and forcefully, almost taking me out. And it’s only because I have to move to avoid being hit by the door that Mikasa’s punch doesn’t land. She looks furious. Understandable, I suppose.

“Mika! Stop!” Armin comes down the entry hall and grabs the back of her shirt. She stops, but she’s still fuming. Her eyes are locked on me and they look murderous. “Levi.” Armin acknowledges me a little coldly. Also understandable. At least he isn’t violent about it.

“I need to talk to Eren.”

“He isn’t here,” Mikasa shoots back venomously.

I glare at her for a moment before directing my attention back to Armin. He seems more reasonable. “I know that isn’t true. You can beat me up later, but let me try to apologise first.”

“You don’t have the right,” she spits. Still so intent on disemboweling me, no doubt.

“You’re right,” I start. That stops her. Her eyes widen and Armin’s hand on her shirt loosens. They both stare at me in shock. “I fucked up. He deserves so much better. But that’s his choice, isn’t it? And he should at least tell me himself.”

Armin’s hand moves up to rest on Mikasa’s shoulder and he tugs gently. “Come on, Mika.” He turns to me, “He’s upstairs, door on the left.” I nod and follow them into the apartment.

Mikasa goes to perch on the couch, the end of which Regen is curled up on, watching me with a raptor’s gaze. Armin stands off to the side and pulls out his phone. I continue up the stairs alone, Armin’s voice quietly following me up.

The door is shut, so I turn the knob and gently push it open.

“I figured you’d show up eventually.” He sounds cold, distant.

He’s laying on a futon to my right, facing the wall. The blankets are pulled up around him, rendering him to nothing more than a lump on the mattress. One of his sketchbooks is laying open on the floor with crumpled pages next to it. The page it’s open to has pen scratches scribbling out whatever he had been working on. I approach the futon but don’t sit.

“Hey.”

He grunts, but offers nothing more. I bite back a sigh. Erwin was right, this is going to take a lot more effort than a simple ‘I’m sorry, I was wrong.’ I sit down gently on the very edge of the futon. He doesn’t tell me to go away, but he doesn’t move either. “Eren.” Another grunt. “Will you at least look at me?”

He’s silent, but after a few beats his blanket lump moves and the throws off the covers and sits up. “What?” He’s disheveled from having just been laid in bed, but he doesn’t seem particularly out of sorts. No red eyes from crying, no dark circles from lack of sleep. He looks like he’s been alright.

“Thank you. You look… good. You look good.” Fuck, I suck at this.

His eyes narrow, “What do you want, Levi?” The way he says my name sends a thousand shards of glass through my heart. It’s cold. Hard. Unwanting.

“I want to say a few things and I don’t want you to interrupt. You can do whatever you want when I’m done, but please let me finish.” He stares and says nothing. I take it as a sign to continue. “I fucking suck at all this feelings emotional bullshit, so it might take a while.”

He huffs a breath in condescending amusement. I deserve that. I look down at my hands and pick at my nail a bit, “I guess I should start with an apology. I’m sorry.” He opens his mouth to speak when I glance back at him, “Eren. No interruptions. Please.” He snaps his mouth shut and pouts through a glare. He’s even adorable when he’s angry.

I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry for what I said. At the time, I thought I meant it, but I didn’t. I know you trust me. Or at least you did.” I pause with a wince, it’s entirely possible he doesn’t trust me anymore. “You were right, I should have trusted you, even if you are hiding something. I’m sure you have a good reason.” He starts to open his mouth again but catches himself.

“I thought… I thought you were cheating on me,” I can feel his rising temper at that. I almost didn’t tell him, but he has a right to know why I went off. “I know I was being stupid and I know I was wrong. But that was all I could come up with as to why you’d been avoiding me.”

“You cou-”

“ _Eren, please._ ” I hear an audible snap of his teeth as he shuts his mouth again. “I just need to get through this. Erwin says I have a thing,” I pause. He doesn’t seem to feel the need to try to interject this time. I spare another glance. He looks… curious. A little of the anger has ebbed away, but he’s still furious. “Erwin says I have a thing where I balk at the first sign of trouble.” Deep breath, “Or commitment.” I stop a moment and let that hang. It’s the first time I’m really admitting to this.

“Basically, I was a fucking time bomb and didn’t know it, and I was apparently looking for something to get pissy about. It’s no excuse, but at least it’s an explanation. So I created all these problems so I could run away from them. But here’s the thing. I don’t want to run away. I don’t want to push you away. You’re the best fucking thing that’s happened to me. Goddamn it, that’s the worst thing I’ve ever said.” I laugh humourlessly. “Anyway, I’ll understand if you just want me to leave and never see me again, though that’d be hard with the shops next door. I don’t want you to, but it’s your choice.”

I stop and he’s quiet. “I’m done now.”

He takes a deep breath, now given the opportunity to finally speak, and starts slowly through gritted teeth, “Did you actually, in all seriousness, truly think that I would EVER FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU?” I wince when his voice raises to a shout.

I hear muffled footsteps at the bottom of the stairs and then Mikasa’s voice calls up, “Eren? Are you alright?”

Eren raises his voice again, “Fine, Mika. I’m fine.” Shortly after, her footsteps fade back.

Silence stretches between us for several seconds. I finally turn to face him and find him staring at me, waiting for… something. Then I remember he had sort of asked me a question. “At the time, yes. But I was upset and being fucking stupid. I know better.”

“I fucking love you, Levi, but I am so angry right now.”

I smirk, “I’d be disappointed if you weren’t.”

“And you’re a fucking idiot.” His fists are clenched in the blankets.

My mouth twists, “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.”

“I love you.”

“I…” my eyes narrow, “That’s not something I didn’t know, dumbass.”

He smirks, but it’s less playful and more melancholy. He’s clearly not over this and I really can’t blame him. “Yeah? I wasn’t sure after all that.”

I glare, but there’s no venom behind it. I’m sure he can see that, especially when the corners of my lips start turning up. “So what are you going to to? Will you come home?”

His eyes drop and he fidgets, “Um… well…”

I sigh and it sounds more exasperated than I want it to, “So that’s a no?”

He glances up sheepishly, “Not yet. I just need a couple more nights here. I need some space. I’m still pissed. And I have some things to do. But I will come back. I promise.”

“And you can’t tell me what you need to do?”

“No…” he starts slowly, “Not yet. But I will.”

I take a moment to give him a measured look, “Okay.”

I move to stand but he reaches out to grab my wrist, “Stay a bit?”

I nod, and he pulls me down to lay next to him.

\--

The next few days I am in a considerably better mood and everyone seems to comment on it. Christa smiles Wednesday morning at my noticeably improved countenance. Marco comments on how much more helpful I am that usual. Jean even says something when he catches me smiling at nothing. I guess knowing Eren will be home soon is good for me.

All day Friday everyone is acting really weird. Christa stays much longer than I need her to, claiming I need the help. Marco and Jean have been in several times and haven’t actually bought anything, which really just pisses me off. Hanji calls me at some point and talks my ear off, but at least I don’t have any customers during the interruption.

As five finally rolls around, I wipe down the counters and clean up so I can close. With everyone being fucking bizarre, I’m exhausted. I just want to go upstairs and take a nap.

“I can finish closing, you look tired.” Christa’s voice interrupts my thoughts. Is she a fucking mind reader? Normally, I’d brush off her help and send her home, but she’s right. I’m tired. So instead, I just nod and head to the back.

I’m so focused on how good the bed is going to feel that I almost miss the sheet of paper taped to the door at the top of the stairs. The paper is a dark blue with white pencil forming a drawing of a rose and a note at the bottom. I recognise the handwriting and the drawing as Eren’s.

_I know, you hate roses. But hear me out. Go back downstairs, Christa has something for you._

He didn’t even sign it, though I’d have to be pretty thick not to know who it was from. I’m not particularly in the mood to play his game, but if it means he’s coming home again, I suppose it’ll be worth it. I sigh and turn back around.

Christa is waiting for me behind the desk with a massive smile on her face. Clearly she’s got some idea of what’s going on. I don’t even have to say anything, she just hands me another sheet of blue paper. This one, again, has white pencil. But this time the drawing is of a violet. Another message is at the bottom.

_Almost two years ago you took a chance on me, and I just want to thank you. Go to the place we shared our first date, some of our friends are waiting there._

I frown. If this is going to be a wild goose chase then I’m really not sure I’m up to this. Christa is still beaming at me brilliantly, though, and that gives me the push to continue this silliness.

At least it’s only a ten minute walk to Rosie’s café. Once I step into the cozy shop, I spot Jean and Marco seated together at a table. I assume these are the ‘friends’ Eren was referring to. Jean catches my eye and smirks with his stupid shit-eating grin and that makes Marco follow his gaze. Marco’s resulting smile is much more pleasant and he waves me over.

“What the fuck is this?”

Marco’s smile widens, “You’ll see, here.” He hands me another paper, this one plain white. The drawing this time is one purple and one red gloxinia. The detail in his drawing is always so exquisite. There’s another note at the bottom.

_So love at first sight isn’t exactly right, but it was pretty close. But we still had some people to convince. One of them is waiting at their apartment._

This one is more vague but I know he means Mikasa. And if I didn’t it looks like Marco and Jean are watching and waiting to see if I’d need an explanation. Still, “Mikasa?” Both of them nod and I turn to leave.

Mikasa and Armin’s apartment is really close to the coffee shop, so it takes no time before I’m riding the elevator up. I barely have to knock before Mikasa is opening the door. She looks at me appraisingly, and frowns at my clothes. For the first time, I realise I haven’t taken off my smock. At this point, it doesn’t really matter, maybe I’ll stop by home again during the game and have a chance to drop it off.

Either way, Mikasa lets me inside and by now I’m expecting the paper she hands me. This one has a purple petunia and a blue violet, an odd combination in my opinion. There’s another note at the bottom, but this one is in a hand I don’t recognise. I glance up briefly.

“This one is from me,” Mikasa says. Apparently my confusion is fairly obvious. I return to the paper.

_Eren means the world to me, so you started off on my bad side. But you’ve proven yourself time and again how much you care about him. I’ll always be there for him, but you can be, too, now._

When I look up again, she’s focused on anything other than me. She has a similar opposition to emotions as I do. I feel myself smile a little. “This one doesn’t say where to go next.”

Her eyes flick to me for the briefest of moments, “Yeah. There was a park you went on a picnic or something at, that’s where. Erwin is there.”

I thank her and take my leave. The park is back on the other side of town, passed the shops, so it takes a little bit to get there. I stop off at my shop quickly and throw my smock in the back. The sun is sinking low in the sky, casting an orange glow over everything. Erwin is easy to find, he sticks out like a sore thumb.

“I’m guessing you aren’t going to tell me what’s going on either.”

He smiles with the knowledge of some big secret, “That would spoil the fun. Here.” He hands me yet another paper with a flower and a message. This time the flower is a yellow primrose. I think back to the date Eren and I had here and smile softly.

_This is where I realised I couldn’t live without you, so I asked you to live with me. It didn’t turn out quite as I’d had in mind, but it couldn’t have gone better. Your next destination is where we first met._

I have to admit, this is getting interesting. I have absolutely no idea where this could possibly be going, but I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would. And I haven’t been inside Dancing Titan in a while with Ymir chasing me out at every opportunity.

The shop looks the same as ever and inside is Armin, Annie, and Petra of all people. She’s the one who hands me the next message. This drawing is probably my favorite so far. Zinnias are hard. Even I, with absolutely no art talent to speak of, can say that. The sheer number of petals makes it an endeavour. This one is a vibrant dark pink.

_The game is almost over. Thank you for sticking with it. The final step awaits upstairs._

All of the people in the room are smiling broadly at me. I glance at each of them in turn before heading out back so I can go upstairs. I take the steps slowly and my heart is pounding. I have no idea what to expect.

The door is unlocked so I simply turn the knob and push it open slowly. It looks pretty much exactly as it had when I left that morning. Exactly, except Regen is back, curled up in the corner. That, and Eren, looking as beautiful as ever, is standing in the middle of the room. I’m so captivated by his eyes that I almost miss the mess of white flowers he’s holding. When I do finally look at them my breath catches.

He’s holding myrtle.

Eren’s lived with me for a year and a half. He’s spent a lot of time in my shop and he’s curious to a fault. He’s learned a lot about flowers and their meanings. And the adventure around Trost I just went on proves it. He matched every flower perfectly. And myrtle could just mean love.

But that’s not really his style.

“Hey,” he says after a while of my not speaking. My eyes dart up to his again and he looks a little unsure of himself. I feel like I’m going to pass out or my heart’s going to explode, or something equally gruesome. I can’t find words so I just keep staring, hoping Eren will fill the silence and calm my heart.

“These are for you,” he pushes the flowers forward and my eyes go back to them. I reach out and take them. Their sweet scent floats up and fills my senses. “Obviously, you already know what it means, but I’ll still ask.” He grabs one of my hands and holds it in both of his, examining it for a few moments. Then he looks me in the eyes and holds my gaze, “Levi, will you marry me?”

Even though I’ve been expecting the question since I saw the flowers, it still nearly knocks me over when he says it. Honestly, I can’t be sure how it is I manage to stay standing. I can feel my heart in my throat pounding mercilessly and I can’t seem to form sound past it. Eren’s expression is slowly dropping and I’m trying desperately to say something so he doesn’t think I’m rejecting him.

With my words failing, I lean in, careful not to crush the flowers between us, and kiss him until I can’t breathe. When I pull away, I finally find my voice, “Yes. Of course, yes.”

Then he smiles. And it occurs to me that I will get to see that smile again and again for the rest of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it guys. I really hope you enjoyed this story and I'm SORRY for hurting you all so much last chapter. But this was always going to be a super sappy and happy ending. This story was outrageous for me. It was my NaNoWriMo project for my first year attempting and I actually completed the challenge in 20 days rather than 30. It was a challenge, but it was tons of fun and I'm really glad I shared the story with all of you. Your feedback has been so amazing and I've talked to so many of you and you're all so great. And watch me get sappy at you and wipe my gross tears on all of your shirts....  
> ANYWAY, I'm always around if you wanna chat. I've got a lot of projects on the horizon. I'm currently working on sequels to both Außer Betrieb and Adagio (AB will likely come out first but I'm not sure at this point). I've got several more AU plans for Levi and Eren, one or two for Jean and Marco, a possible continuation to JEM Week, and a multichapter Erumike all in the early planning stages. So if you liked this and want to see more of my work, stick around.  
> I'm going to stop rambling on in the notes here, but it's been a wild ride. You guys are the best and this story wouldn't be the same without you. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  
> EDIT: I've been asked, but the site I got my flower meanings from is http://thelanguageofflowers.com/


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